Explorations

it’s very disheartening for sure. i completely respect people not wanting sexual content in their nonsexual spaces, but refusing to acknowledge that these communities are extremely similar, with neither being more “pure” than the other, is baffling to me.

Sometimes that can look like I’m playing the role of:

Little

Middle

Pet

Kitten/cat

Doll

Toy

…and sometimes the sex is just plain kinky. So if you see something here that offends you or that you don’t vibe with, don’t yuck my (or anyone else’s) yum. Click “don’t show this post/blog” or even block me for your mental health and wellbeing. Then go on with your life.

Then just… laying my tongue flat across your cunt. Just resting there, wide and warm and still, feeling you throb against me. Tasting you. Taking you all in. My tongue right there, right on you, and giving you nothing other than hot breath on your skin. Just the weight of it. Just heat and wet and the knowledge that I could flick once and you’d come apart completely. But you know I don’t want that.

You’re squirming but there’s nowhere to go. Your wrists are tied and my mouth is right there and it’s almost worse than if I wasn’t touching you at all. At least then there’d be some hope of settling down. But that’s impossible when I’m exactly where you need me and choosing to stay still. You say please into the air above you. I hear it. I don’t move. You say it again. Still nothing.

It feels flirty (situationally dependent. This is not the use OP is talking about but make sure you've *already negotiated* before, don't say it in response to genuine questions. If anything else on this list feels true to you, don't let being flirty be an excuse to say it anyway/not communicate/not address those other factors.)

Wanting to please/prioritize your partner (not a bad desire, but they likely want a clear understanding of your own wants and limits so that they can not only do what they want to do but have the Impact they want.)

Fear of seeming too needy, demanding, not submissive enough (maybe ask for them to share some of their desires and limits first so it doesn't feel like you're leading the conversation right out the gate, and understand that you having to trust that if you ask for something they don't care for they'll say no is the same trust they have to have in you.) (note- some Doms DO complain about subs being demanding, or asking for things right out the gate, treating them as kink dispensers. Subs Can be shitty like that and it's fair to complain, but also Doms can do this unreasonably, and in either case people overhearing these complaints can absorb that "don't be demanding, treat your Dom as a person" incorrectly as "don't ask for things")

Not knowing what you want (generally you can just state this outright, I recommend including a request for suggestions or brainstorming, or a discussion of a kink tasting, "Can we try a couple things and see what clicks?" If they're not up to work with you on figuring it out then you will have to just figure out what you want by yourself or with someone else.)

Decision fatigue/desire to set aside making choices (you can in fact also say this bluntly. Being offered a simple two options to pick between works for some people, so you can suggest that as a starting point. You may also need to get some down time to start with, prior to subbing. Subspace is not a replacement for self care and the human need for relaxation. It can help with decision fatigue to have time in subspace, so before doing more in depth scenes needing signifact negotiating you can do smaller ones to help that, but you do need to make Some decisions and do communication upfront for that even if you find ways to safely minimize the decisions to start with. You could ask for suggestions and make the only decisions be indicating your interest/lack, fill out kink interest worksheets so it's on paper instead of a conversation and can be broken up into more manageable chunks, or do a tasting type scene where all you say is yes and no. Seriously try to give yourself downtime and meet your needs without Just putting them on another person though.)

Shame about expressing desires (let yourself be embarrassed. Turn red, stammer, say "I need a minute", push yourself to voice at least one thing. You don't need to be suave in a negotiation, and most Doms will find it cute/hot. And probably do some reflecting on where that shame comes from, how it does and doesn't align with your values, and unpack that some with a professional or at least a trusted friend.)

Fear of setting boundaries/voicing limits (this is a serious one. If you can't do this in the negotiation do you think you can safeword in the moment? You simply Have to find a way to set those boundaries to be able to play. That's not to say you can't Work on this while in a kink relationship, but you need to start working on it Now, and make sure that your Dom understands that that's where you're at and is okay with being in those troubled waters with you. Do Not Be Shitty if they are not up for it. Let them leave without guilting them.)

Lack of concern about your own wellbeing (first of all goddamn do I get it. Depression is hard, ideation warps perception of everything, trauma can destroy your sense of self preservation, I used to think trusting someone meant not minding if they did hurt you rather than having faith that they won't. If you can't find it in you to care about not being hurt for your own sake, care about it for theirs. They almost certainly don't want to trigger you, hurt you in a way you dislike, abuse you, or kill you. If they do want to do those things then you saying what you don't want won't stop them, so in that case it doesn't matter. But they probably don't, that's why they're negotiating with you. Your lack of concern doesn't outweigh their concern for your wellbeing, so let them know the relevant info.)

“Clearly you weren’t looking hard enough,” she smirked, looking quickly over her shoulder at him before raising her bowl closer to her mouth and taking a bite of the cereal. He could tell her smile was wide even though she was facing mostly away from him, and he leaned down on both of his hands, pressing them against the counter top of the kitchen island.

“Thought it’d be on the floor where I left it last night.”

“A logical conclusion,” she responded dropping the spoon into the bowl and running her fingers through her unkempt hair. “But missing shirt… missing naked girlfriend… the next best guess seems obvious to me.”

“With you taking all of my clothes, what am I supposed to wear?” he asked coyly, sidling up behind her and giving her a peck on the cheek while he wrapped his arms around her.

“You look fine in just the sweatpants,” she giggled, leaning forward slightly and wiggling her rear end against him. “Hmm… they’re soft though. Maybe I’ll snag those next.”

“Ohh no,” he countered, a playful warning in his tone as he pressed himself back into her firmly. “These sweatpants are never comin’ off again if I know you’re on the prowl for them.”

She grinned devilishly, picking up her spoon, “Never coming off, huh? I’ll bet there are things I could offer that would make you reconsider.” “Oh I know there are,” he smiled against her and planted a kiss delicately at the base of her neck. “But first, finish your breakfast. It is, after all, the most important meal of the day.” He relinquished his hold on her and she looked out the window again distractedly, digging back into her bowl of cereal. A few moments went by while she chewed in silence when suddenly, she felt his hands again— not rough in their guidance, but firm, bending her over, pushing her chest down, and pressing it to the countertop she had been leaning against. “Wha- what are you doing?” she asked, breathless at the sudden display of dominance. “Breakfast, darling. The most important meal of the day.”

He knelt down behind her and she quickly moved her bowl off to the side, spreading her legs slightly in anticipation of his next move. His hands moved down to her hips and pushed her further up onto the counter so that the tips of her toes barely touched the floor. His shirt rode up on her ass revealing that it was bare— there were no panties after all. He kneaded her slowly, spreading her open and growling appreciatively at the sight of her glistening lips. He gave one cheek a firm smack as he leaned in, and she gasped at the sting— the gasp was drawn out into a moan as his tongue trailed over her wet slit.

She shuddered as he began to lick and suck on her in earnest, leaving no place untouched while also giving extra attention to the spots that he knew would make her melt. A moan escaped from between her lips as he took her clit between his lips and sucked gently; she felt the tips of his fingers teasing her and did her best to grind back against him, but it was virtually impossible as his hand on her upper thigh kept her firmly pinned to the counter. The coolness of the granite on her breasts and stomach was a contrast to the warmth of his hands, his breath… his mouth, devouring her. Her legs tensed as she felt one of his fingers press into her and he stopped enjoying her for a moment to pull back and admire the sight. “You’re so tight around my finger, baby. I ought to fuck you. Would you like that?” She whimpered and tried to form words, but they were caught in her throat as he added a second finger and began to pump them in and out.

“You’re right babygirl— I need to finish my breakfast first,” he cooed as his tongue began its dance on and in her again, assisted by the movement of his fingers, now coated in her wetness. “Or rather I need to get my breakfast to finish… more than once, I think. How’s yours coming along?”

Her breathing had grown heavy and her bowl of cereal had been pushed away with no chance of drawing even a glimmer of her attention. Her hands were pressed hard into the counter top, and her fingers were spread wide as though searching for something— anything— to anchor her, but his firm grip held her lower half steadily as he continued to lap away. “Oh God, oh fuck—” she squeaked out as her legs began to shake and an orgasm rocked through her; he didn’t stop moving his fingers but slowed his lips and tongue as she came, pussy clenching and quivering around him. When her legs went limp, he resumed enthusiastically and she let out a whine as she was immediately overstimulated by his ministrations. She felt him chuckle into her—

“I’m not done, baby, and neither are you. There’s too much of you left to enjoy…” She groaned, a smile dancing across her lips, as she gave in to the pleasure again and a second orgasm overtook her. This one was shorter— sharper. A different kind of satisfying. It almost left her drooling as her eyes went out of focus, and she craned her neck to rest the side of her head against the wall.

“Good girl,” he purred, rotating his wrist so that his fingers switched positions and his thumb could replace his tongue against her clit. He gently rocked it from side to side as his fingers curled forward, stimulating her g-spot and making her cry out again. “So good for me. I want one more. Can you give me one more, baby?” She whimpered again, but the whimper immediately rose into a shout as she felt the tip of his tongue begin teasing her ass. She involuntarily bent her knees and her legs began to shake as her upper body squirmed against the counter. “You like that, baby?” she heard him croon, his fingers moving in and out of her faster, and his thumb rubbing insistent circles on her clit. “Give it to me, babygirl. Cum on my tongue.”

you tell me to bend over and stick me ass out. i protest, even as i follow your instructions. you flip up my dress and pull down my panties. it’s humiliating in the best way possible. my cunt gets a little wet. my ass is already loose and relaxed from getting used earlier, so it’s really easy for you to slide the plug in. it feels so nice to have my hole filled. 

when it’s in place, you pull up my panties, pull down my dress and give me a pat on the ass. from start to finish, the whole thing took less than couple of minutes. idk, there’s something so hot about unexpected, casual dominance like that. 

–

"Silly sluts like me still deserve respect!"

"Big Nasty Doms like me still deserve vulnerability!"

Don't let the fantasy come before reality.