“I feel you’re going to pull over and snuff me.”
“You’re kidding me with the hand up, right?”
“Oh no! Did they rope you into this?”
“You are not authorized to access this area.”
“I do anything and everything that [name] requires, including, occasionally, taking out the trash. Will that be all?”
“What are you trying to get rid of me for? What, you got plans?”
“I don’t like it when you have plans.”
“For three hours. For three hours you got me standing here.”
“I told you, I’m not mad. I’m indifferent, okay?”
“You don’t respect yourself, so I know you don’t respect me. I respect you. I’m just your babysitter. So, when you need your diaper changed, let me know and I’ll get you a bottle, okay?”
“Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?”
“I couldn’t sleep ‘til I found out how it went. How’d it go?”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“What the hell did you do to me?”
“Do you understand me? Do as I do.”
“Is this the last act of defiance of the great [first & last name]? Or are you going to do something about it?”
“Relax. I have steady hands. Why do you think you’re still alive?”
“So you’re a [man] who has everything, and nothing.”
“Why have you failed me?”
“Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.”
“Well, that… uh, that went well.”
“Did I just paint a target on the back of my head?”
“Could you have a lousier poker face?”
“Listen to me, [name]. We’re a team. Do you understand? There’s nothing we can’t do if we stick together.”
“We’re gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now.”
“How big are your hands?”
“Let’s see them. Show me your hands.”
“You know, I don’t think that I’m qualified to do this.”
“You’re the most capable, qualified, trustworthy person I’ve ever met.”
“[Name]? It’s going to be okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna make this okay.”
“Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever ask me to do anything like that ever again.”
“I don’t have anyone but you.”
“[Name], I’ve been called many things. ‘Nostalgic’ is not one of them.”
“I swear, I didn’t expect to see you walking around so soon.”
“[Name], I’m working on something big. I came to talk to you. I want you to be a part of it.”
“What you need is time to get your mind right.”
“Just because I brought pizza back from New York doesn’t mean it went bad.”
“It would’ve gone better if you were there.”
“I’m being responsible! That’s a new direction for me.”
“What was I thinking? You’re usually so discreet.”
“What’s the world coming to when a [guy]’s got to crash [his] own party?”
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“I actually don’t think that you could tie your shoes without me.”
“You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight.”
“Is this what you call accountability?’
“You can’t afford to be this naïve.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no, the less I know, the better.”
“Let’s face it. This is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.”
“Hey. You busy? You mind if I send you on an errand?”
“[Name], you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you’re going to start all of this again.”
“You’re going to kill yourself, [name]. I’m not going to be a part of it.”
“I shouldn’t be alive, unless it was for a reason.”
“I’m not crazy, [name]. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it’s right.”
“You’re all I have, too, you know.”
“So, what are we going to do about this? Hmm?”
“You are a very rare [woman]. [Name] doesn’t know how lucky [he] is.”
“There’s so many applications for causing short-term paralysis.”
“Do you really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you?”
“Make sure you wait ‘til I clear the roof. I’ll buy you some time.”
“Hold still, you little prick!”
“Are you talking about the night that we danced and went up on the roof, and then you went downstairs to get me a drink, and you left me there, by myself? Is that the night you’re talking about?”
“I know that it’s confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I’m a superhero.”
“I’m just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I’ve made, largely public.”
“Just stick to the cards, [man].”