Crowleys Hellhound

This photo and moment has been in the making since I went to DallasCon16; this was the con where Misha Collins first told the beautiful story about his daughter Maison. Its a long post, but I wanted to tell the full story.

If you have not heard the “I Wish For This” story here is a Youtube Link to Misha telling it to a good friend of mine at Dallascon.

This story hit me and so many others really hard.  To me his message was that we all take things for granted in life. We forget to live in the moment and enjoy the little things. That no matter what you are doing in your life as long as you are happy then that’s what matters. Misha had always been an inspiration to me and with me just starting my new Group, WeAreSPNFamily, I decided I wanted to spread a little kindness of my own. I was all set to go to the last Houston Convention, the last Texas Con. I decided I wanted to do something Misha would not forget. So 5 months later after so much careful planning, it happened.

I had over 2,000 bright orange fliers printed up with on the front the message #IWishForThis and on the back the story behind the signs because a lot of people had never heard the story. We gave the crowd enough time to read the fliers so when he came on stage it was more than a simple sign hold up. There was so much love directed his way, that it nearly overwhelmed him. In the first 5 mins of the Houscon17 panel you can watch his reaction.

Later at autographs I handed him one of the fliers that I had had every volunteer who had helped me pass them out sign so that he would know all who had helped. I apologized for nearly making him cry and he smiled at me and said “No. Its ok. It was a good feeling, thank you so much.” I also gave him a beautiful drawing my friend had done of his daughter blowing out a dandelion and once again he looked deeply touched. I had a binder full of love and messages to give to him but I didn’t want to take up more time so I bought a Sunday auto ticket to give it to him. He was also deeply touched by this, so much so that he honestly couldn’t speak. I have come to learn that when Misha goes quite like that its because he is at a loss for words. This was also the first time he learned my name because he was personalizing stuff. He grabbed my hand before I walked away and thanked me so much for all the kindness I had brought to him. I simply said, it was a team effort. I just want to make the world a kinder place. 

This photo is a combination of several photos taken at Houscon at Misha’s panel

After Houscon it seemed that the “I Wish For This” story took off and never slowed down. At my next con I brought my orange flier in and he recognized me and smiled when he saw the flier again. 

Now lets jump ahead to October, the New Orleans Convention. I had been wanting to get an I Wish For This tattoo. But I wanted it in Misha’s handwriting. I was terrified to ask but my new friend, who had seen Misha too many times to keep count, told me to just do it. As I walked up to the table, bright orange flier in hand Misha smiled down at it and looked back up at me; now recognizing me. I said, "I have so many of your autographs. I was wondering if you could just write 'I Wish For This' I was want to get it as my next tattoo.” Once again Misha got that look upon his face. The one that words can not describe but the best I can do is say love and kindness. But that really doesn’t do it justice. He just looked at me, sharpie in hand. So I looked him in the eyes as I put my hand over my heart and said, “This story, this message means more to me than you can possibly know. I truly want this as my next tattoo, it would mean the world to me.” He then smiled at me and slowly wrote out I Wish For This. To make sure I left him with a smile on his face I showed him our silly photo op and he was laughing as I walked away. Only 6 days later did I have my tattoo.

We have now reached the point where I can talk about the first photo above. So the time came to reveal it too him with dozens of people who had seen it over the course of the con telling me how stunning it was. So I walked up and his eyes lit up and he practically yelled "Hey" at me and was grinning from ear to ear. He was like "what do you wanna do." I said, as I started to turn, " I had your write this for me and NOLA and he went " Oh yeah that's right" and then he got quite. I felt his hand touch my tattoo and pull back, realizing photo ops don't give enough time to talk. He said very carefully, I could tell he was trying not to let his voice crack, he said " That...is... so...beautiful." I said "Thank you" and went on to say, " So I want your head on that shoulder and I'll place my”... before I could finish he said "I understand completely." We did the pose and I said "Thank you so much" he looked at me, touched my shoulder and said, " No, thank you." I have never cracked with Misha ever, but as I walked away it hit me and I had to take a few breaths and shake it off. I didn't realize how much that exchange seemed to have affected me until I had walked away.

Lastly, the auto story. I had printed up a photo of my tattoo and had written down what each component meant, I will repost the photo at the bottom with all that info. But anyway I had stepped out of the theater to grab a snack. They were still doing Castiel photos so I thought I had time. I came back ten minutes later and the person at the mic was saying “Ok, everyone say good bye to Misha.” I started sprinting and fell in front of the stage looking up at the woman saying, “Wait, please I have a ticket.” She gave me one look and then grabbed her mic saying they had one more. Misha hadn’t even left the room yet, he had just gone behind the curtain. He walked back out trying to be all sarcastic and funny. He was like, “Are you f*cking kidding me? I was so close.” But then he saw me gasping for air, still on my knees on the ground and he stopped. I got up and set my bag down, apologizing over and over again as I tried to find my photo op for him to sign. 

I told him I was running late because I had been writing down what all my tattoo meant and that this early sketch of the tattoo was given to me by my artist to give to you. I was still panicking, could not find that photo op to save my life. 

But unknown to me and told to me by several people afterwards. When Misha saw me when he came out from behind the curtain his body language shifted. He waved his handler back, apparently she was like 6 feet from him. He sat back down so that he was at my level. And he looked at me thoughtfully and appeared to be listening to every word I had to say. (Now I don’t know if this is all correct, but a few people believed it to be so...). Anyway I finally found the photo and he gave it a good look before he signed. I said, “ I just want you to know that you have inspired me to be a better person, to help others, and make this world a better place by simply being kind. Thank you so much Misha for coming back out and just being you.” He started to stand up and as he shook my hand he said, “No. Thank you Kirby. It was great to see you again.”

How he remembered my name I will never know. I had written it on the small piece of paper with my tattoo pic, which he refused to have shipped to him he wanted to take it with him, but he there was just no way he saw it and remembered. He said my name like he had always known it, as strange as that sounds. 

Then all my adrenaline begin to calm down and I broke for the first time at a con. Like full on crying, but my friends helped me realize how special that moment was. That all my hard work to spread kindness and love had not gone unnoticed. 

This entire story is hard for me to tell, in fact I teared up many times writing this. Misha has inspired me in so many ways and for a man like that to remember me not because I have been to a ton of conventions, get tons of photos with him, or do all his meet and greets; but for him to remember me because of the good I have tried to do. Well I don;t know very many people who wouldn’t cry at their role model acknowledging them like that. 

I do not know when my next con will be, it could be a year, it could be two. But I got what I wished for. And I will never forget it.

Here is the photo again with the explanation for why I got a feather instead of a dandelion. 

So before I explain this possible quote from Dean to Mary, I wanna say this. To all the Mary haters out there, while Dean saying this to Mary might make you happy. It really shouldn’t, due to many reasons but due to my follow explanation is the main reason. So if you do not like Mary this post is not gonna make you happy, if you are on the fence it might help you understand her better, if you like her well your gonna read this anyway. 

But please I hope I read this because its piecing together a story line people seem to keep forgetting. Let’s begin!

So after the latest episode, “The Future”, I have become quite curious about Lucifer’s love child in the sense of the bigger question the writers of Supernatural are asking us; are you born evil or are you made evil? The classic Nature v. Nurture argument.  So I decided to investigate specific color choices since in film specific colors are chosen to represent certain emotions and messages. But in television programs this is even more apparent and used more often because they typically have only 42 minutes to get the information in the episode across. 

I am nearly finished with my degree in film production and I have quite a bit of time learning how to look at film and there is one thing that I have learned that has hit me the hardest; not a single thing in TV or film is done by accident. every line of dialogue, every camera angle, every color, costume, action, etc. has a purpose.

So I am going to do a color analysis because I believe the golden eye color that we saw when the baby connected with Kelly and Castiel is not by accident. That color was chosen for a specific reason. So in order to give evidence to my theory I am going to bring up the few other eye colors we have seen over the seasons when we saw certain characters, so lets begin!

Let’s first start off with the baby’s father Lucifer. To go back to my first like quip about Nature v. Nurture I feel like Lucifer proves that one is not born evil, but becomes evil; sort of. I mean he does say in the series his dad made him this way, but if your dad is God and he can make you do anything that doesn’t really count. But he had choices and he always chose the bad path. Anyway back to main point. 

Since his return in Season 11 we have gotten a new feature on Lucifer; red eyes.

So in film the color red can mean many things:  RED – anger, passion, rage, desire, excitement, energy, speed, strength, power, heat, love, aggression, danger, fire, blood, war, violence. Think about when we see Dean wear his read shirt, we immediately relate that to violence and anger, same thing with Lucifer. His read eyes make us feel uneasy and a sense of danger.