death saving throw

the horrors may be unrelenting but motherfucker so am i!

my cat at 2 am for no reason

again

something I will never understand about five guys is how they insist on fucking entombing their burgers in foil

okay I do want to clarify I'm not opposed to wrapping burgers in foil I'm specifically opposed to the way five guys hermetically seals them immediately after cooking to the degree that the steam and meat create a goddamn ecosystem so powerful it could probably terraform a small moon

im an abbot and tbh if i dont vibe with one of my monks i call the vatican and tell them he's tempting the other monks to most profane and unnatural couplings and they just take him back and send a new one no questions asked

papa keeps those for himself

papa keeps those for himself

please tell me that everyone else also scrolled down, saw the caption on the second photo, and scrolled back up to double-check

I love how tumblr is reverse chronological order so when your mutual starts having a blorbo breakdown overnight you get to start with the insane conclusion and work your way back to where they first went off the rails.

no one should be killed for it but i hate this homework

“i don’t need a list, i'll remember what i need. it’s four things. no need to write it down” thats the DEVIL SPEAKING!!!!!

There’s this ask reddit post about your weirdest childhood and the story is about this guy who was playing in the woods by a creek with his friend when a guy in full late 1800s formal clothing including a top hat just walked out of the forest, said “Hello boys!” and kept walking. This is why I want historical clothing so badly. The ultimate prank.

give someone something to think about for the rest of their life

be the ghost encounter YOU want to see in this world

This reminds me of my great uncle who used to hunt with a musket because he enjoyed the feel of it, and he also had an assortment of deer hide clothes he’d made or bought from local first nations, and he went out hunting when he was like 14 and got lost and came across this man in the woods and was like,,,,, can you help, i’m lost. and the guy looks him up and down and my uncle realizes he’d unintentionally dressed in all his deerskin clothes and a coonskin cap when the guy asks him, “how long have you been lost for?”