Ascending to the Stars

To Be With You Fanfic Masterlist

Pairing: Danny Wagner X Reader

Summary: You move across country in effort to start a new life away from the ties of your childhood. Just when you think you are starting to move on, your childhood best friend, Danny Wagner, comes to you in crisis. Do you give it one more shot in case he feels the same? Or do you keep running in hopes of forgetting it all?

Word Count: 21k and counting...

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating, angst, Alcohol and Marijuana consumption, eventual smut

Chapter 1- Once One, Always One

Chapter 2- Just Like Old Times

Chapter 3- Do You Think...?

Chapter 4- Was I Wrong?

Chapter 5- Oil and Water

Chapter 6- Is This The End?

Chapter 7- A New Life

Are you still continuing the To Be With You series?

I miss it! ♥️♥️♥️

TW: This chapter contains smut. (Descriptions of consensual oral and penetrative sex.)

End of The World As We Know It

You sat in your first-class seat, looking out the window at the London- Heathrow airport. Outside it was gloomy. The plane taxied, winding its way back to the airport. You watched raindrops race down the window pane. 

The flight had been easy. You had never flown in first class domestically, let alone on an international flight. For the first two hours, you found yourself fighting the imposter syndrome. It felt unnatural 

Prior to leaving Michigan, Danny had their tour manager email you the details of your trip. For a few moments, you had thought they had mixed up your flight details with his. Danny, after receiving your messages about the supposed mix-up, had simply replied “Enjoy yourself, Y/N.” So despite the initial discomfort, you did.

Now, as your plane finished its trek, you packed your things in your old carry-on backpack and waited for the cabin door to open. 

You recognized your decision to come was impulsive. When Danny called you had been overwhelmed; flooded by many conflicting emotions. The loudest of them all was the grief. 

Despite all your reasons or justifications, you missed him. You missed catching up with his stories. You missed the quiet support he always gave you, his hugs and his laugh. While the romantic heartbreak had subsided, the grief of losing a friend was still fresh and painful. All at once, that dull ache you had felt had swelled, overtaking in one single call. 

You knew nobody else would understand exactly what this feeling was. Half of it was logical; the part of you that valued your history and promise to your old friend. The other half you continued to deny even to yourself. You ignored it, but deep down, there was a flame. A flame within you that flickered, buried deep beneath layers of guilt, shame, and fear. This flame, a glimmer of hope that this trip would be different for you and Danny. 

You exited the plane, following the signs for baggage claim and customs. 

Danny’s last interaction had been short, a simple heart reaction to your photo out the plane’s window. You knew better than to read into his messages but against your better judgment, you were considering many interpretations. 

You grabbed your checked bag and headed for the exit. You scrolled through your emails on your phone as you walked; looking for the one from Simon, Greta’s tour manager for the European leg. Along with your plane ticket and hotel information, he had included information about who was picking you up from the airport. The name of the driver was not familiar to you. You assumed it was one of the various drivers hired to drive the boys throughout their time in the area. 

You approached the pick-up area with your luggage in tow, looking out for the grey van described in the email. 

“Y/N!”

You turn to the voice, spotting the grey van in the pickup line. A tall figure with dark curls exited the van quickly from the passenger side, crossed in front and swiftly headed in your direction. You froze, slowly taking him in as he came towards you. 

He looked different than you had last seen him, more mature and somehow taller. You scanned him up and down, noting his black “The Thing With Feathers” t-shirt from his friend Dave’s band. 

He smiled before extending his arms out to you for an embrace. 

You swallowed hard, feeling your heart race in your chest. When he was within reach of you, you dropped your hold on your suitcase and went to him. His arms wrapped around you, encasing you in his familiar cologne. You rested your head against his chest, allowing yourself for a moment to forget the tension and enjoy the comfort you missed. You held him tight, feeling the speed of his own heart against your cheek. You closed your eyes, taking a stilling breath before releasing him from your hold. He followed suit, pulling back from the embrace with a smile, looking you up and down. 

You smiled at him back, feeling your cheeks heat slightly under his gaze. 

“You look great.” He broke the silence. 

You blushed deeper, motioning with your hand to him.

“You do too, Dan. I like your hair.”

He laughed, running a hand over the tight curls.

“Thank you. It’s amazing how much better hair looks when you don’t use 3 in 1 shampoo.”

You scoff, looking back at his grinning expression with genuine surprise, “There is no way you were using that- were you?”

Danny shook his head with a laugh. He reached for your shoulder, taking your backpack strap off and placing it on his. 

“Oh you don’t have to-“ You reached for your bag, but felt your hands batted away.

“I’ve got it.” He reached for the handle of your suitcase and pushed it in the direction of the van. You thanked him quietly and followed. 

He continued, “No. Not exactly 3 in 1, but whatever I was using wasn’t working. Let’s just say that. I have a robust and top secret routine these days.”

You chuckled and shook your head. 

Out of the corner of your eye, two girls catch your attention. You turned to look, seeing them whispering and pointing towards Danny. For a brief moment, your stomach dropped as you recalled the time you had been seen by fans. Danny looked behind at you, following your gaze and seeing the girls. As if sensing your unease he turned his back to them, positioning himself to block you from their view. 

“Hey, do you want to go to the van? I’ll say hi for a quick second. You can come with me too if you want.”

You raise your eyebrows, peaking around him to spy on the two nervous girls talking quietly to one another. 

“It’s fine. I’ll go. Let’s see you in action, Mr. Rockstar” You teased.

You motion towards the girls, taking your suitcase handle from him as you walk.

“Hi!” Danny approached with a big smile. 

“Oh my god.” The blonde turned to her friend and covered her mouth with her hand. 

“Hi, Danny.” The girl beside her smiled, transfixed on him. Her hands shook at her sides. 

You stood off to the side, smiling awkwardly as Danny handled the interaction with ease. He asked them if they were coming to the show, and listened as they told him how they had met through the band. You watched as his eyes danced, genuine joy pulling at the corners. Throughout the brief conversation, you watched as the girls calmed; a usual side effect of being around Danny.

“Did you guys want to take a picture? Y/N, can you do the honors?” He offered. 

You cleared your throat, giving the girls a quick hello before reaching for the phone. 

Danny posed in the middle of the two girls with one arm draped around each of their shoulders. 

You took the pictures, moving the phone around for different angles. 

“There you go!” You smiled, handing the phone back to the blonde. 

“Okay, it was great to meet you both. I hope you enjoy the show.” Danny finished as he turned back to you, reaching for your suitcase.

He stood beside you and turned back to the girls. “One last thing. You’re welcome to post the pictures I’m in with you, but if you have one of Y/N and I from over there- I need you to delete it.”

You held your gasp and looked over at Danny in surprise. 

“Oh! Yes, of course. I’m sorry.” The blonde scrolled through her phone, quickly turning her phone to show her deleting her photos and emptying them from the recently deleted folder. 

“I’m sorry we took them. We weren’t thinking…”

Danny smiles, “It’s okay. It was so nice to see you both. We have to get going but I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

He gave the girls a wink, laughing when they both giggled and turned to each other.

He pushed your suitcase and slung an arm around your shoulder as you both walked. 

He laughed, “You okay?”

You smile and nod. 

He drops his arm from your back, adjusting your backpack’s strap over his shoulder. 

“Great! Well, Arvil’s holding up the line there. He went around once, we should probably go.” 

You laughed and followed him in a run to the van. 

Danny ushered you to the van, pointing you to a seat before packing your bags in the back. He closed the door and returned, hoping into the seat beside you. 

“Thank you, Avril! Avril this is Y/N, Y/N, Avril.” Danny introduced you before buckling his seatbelt. 

“Thank you for coming. Sorry about the delay.”

“It is no problem, Ms.” Avril nodded his head to you in the rearview mirror before merging out of the pickup lane. 

When you turned your attention back to Danny, he was watching you in amusement. 

“What?” You asked quietly. 

He shrugged, “Nothing. I just can’t believe you’re here.”

You looked away and nodded, unsure how much of the conversation you were ready to have. You sensed his jovial mood and sensed he was not opening the discussion now. You pushed down the feelings and decided to play along. 

“I know. Who would have thought?”

Danny scoffed playfully, “You did, actually. I didn’t believe it at the time, but something about how adamant you were about it- I always leaned on that and felt we would. I don’t think we could have ever pictured it like this though.”

You shook your head. 

“No. I don’t think so. Things have changed a lot for you guys since I have last been to a show.”

Danny nodded, “I think you missed a couple of tours.”

You noted the sadness in his tone and returned your gaze out the window. The conversation lulled momentarily. You cleared your throat and pushed through. 

“I suppose I have some catching up to do before the show then. Based on some videos I’ve seen, I can’t just wear a band t to the show anymore.”

Danny laughed, clearly grateful for the change in topic. 

“You can wear whatever you like, Y/N. But yes, it’s become very theatrical in the last few years. I guess you can blame Josh for that.”

You smile, enjoying the familiarity of the conversation. 

“I’ll have to hit him up for some gems before the show I guess.”

Danny flashed you a smile, “He’d be really excited about that. But just know he doesn’t do them himself. He may do a bad job.”

You laughed. 

“So, I know the time change is going to be interesting for you. It’s 4:30 here. We’re probably going to go out tonight and get some drinks. Maybe celebrate a little before the big day tomorrow. Do you want to go with me? I know everyone wants to see you.”

You looked away. You had slept well on the flight and could use a full meal. However, the thought of facing the full band and their families made you uneasy. There had been too much time and too many unanswered calls and questions for you to feel comfortable jumping back in like nothing happened. 

You gave what you hoped appeared to be a lighthearted frown. 

“I probably need to sleep. Thank you though, Dan. I appreciate everything.”

He nodded, but you could see the disappointment in his body language. 

“It’s okay, Y/N/N. We’ll all see each other tomorrow.”

As if on cue, Avril pulled into the parking structure of a hotel. He parked in between two tour buses, in front of a large metal door. 

“Here we are.” Danny said while hopping out of the van. He walked around to the back to open the hatch. Avril exited the vehicle and beat him to the luggage.

“No, no Mr. Wagner. I will take these. You help your lady inside.”

You blushed. 

Danny patted Avril on the shoulder and returned to the open van door. 

He pretended to bow and extended his hand to you, “Mi’lady.”

You pushed his hand to the side and laughed as you exited, heading for the metal door. Avril walked behind, pushing your suitcase with your backpack resting on top. As you approached the door, it opened, revealing a bellhop pushing a bell cart. 

He greeted each of you with “Good evening” and a nod as he held open the door. Inside the hotel lobby was stunning with bold-colored couches, white marble pillars, and wainscoted walls. You did a full 360, admiring the artwork and unique detailed furniture throughout the space. 

“Wow. This is gorgeous.”

Danny nodded and gave a quick look around the space, “It is. Simon is great at what he does. He used to live around here somewhere too.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out two room keys. 

“I believe this one is yours. I am on the same floor down the hall. We can switch if I got that wrong.”

You nodded and took the key from his outstretched hands. Your fingers brushed slightly against his, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. 

You pulled back quickly, hoping he had not noticed. 

“If you change your mind about tonight, I am in room 48 down from you. We can go together.”

“Thank you. I think I am going to try to get some sleep.”

Danny nodded, placing a hand on your lower back and guided you to the elevator. Avril walked with the bellhop to the front desk with your bags. 

You and Danny entered the elevator. He pressed the button for floor 2. 

“It’s odd to leave my bags. I could have taken them up myself.” You puzzled. 

Danny laughed, “I know. I still find it really strange when we stay in places like this. It is nice but always feels a bit unnecessary. 

The elevator doors opened. Danny motioned for you to exit first and you did. 

“Well, I am down this way. I believe you’re right there on the left.” Danny hesitated in the hall.

After a moment, he pulled you into a hug. 

“I know I’m going to probably say this again, but I am happy you’re here.”

You gave him a squeeze and backed away. 

“I am too. Thank you. For everything… The flight, the hotel- Seriously. I feel bad having you cover that.”

Danny shook his head, “No, don’t think that. I’m really happy to do it. I couldn’t play this show without you here.”

“You could. I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this but you’re like… a really good drummer. Some would call you drummer of the year.” You joked. 

Danny smiled wide and shook his head. 

“Okay, Y/N. Sweet dreams.”

You both turned and walked down the hall. You resisted the urge to look over your shoulder to watch him go. Reluctantly, you walked and entered your room. 

Your suite was just as beautiful as the lobby. Each of the walls were painted a textured baby blue. The fourth wall, behind the four-poster bed, was wallpapered in a bold floral print. Ordinarily, this would have felt gaudy, but paired with the unique furniture and crystal light fixtures it felt rich and very British. 

You crossed the room and collapsed face-first onto the queen bed, enjoying the unnecessary but welcomed extra space. 

Beyond the bed, there was a quaint balcony overlooking the Kensington street below. On it, sat a single chair and table, perfect for morning reading and coffee. You sighed, rolling over onto your back and looking up at the ceiling. 

“What am I getting myself into?” You asked yourself. 

You reached into your pocket, fishing for your phone. You clicked the side button, illuminating the screen and revealing your notifications. You scrolled them, swiping away the ones from apps you never care about. You opened Messenger and replied to your missed texts from your mom and Alex. You frowned, clicking on Kyle’s text thread, and noted he had not replied to your last three messages. You frowned, rereading the messages and noticing the odd time stamps. You rolled your eyes, remembering the adjustments your phone makes for the time zone.

July 12th, 2024 10:16 pm

“Hey K, I head out this evening for London. I text Angela from the running group. She’s going to take over my Friday run like we talked about. Hopefully, it’s not too crazy while I’m gone.”

July 13th, 2024 2:02 am

“Alright, I’m boarded. Are you working still? I’ll have wifi on the flight. Maybe we can catch up?”

July 13th, 2024 3:00 am

*A photo of your drink and food on the plane*

You chewed at the inside of your lip. For the past couple of months since Kyle’s trip back to Italy, things had been rocky between you. Despite the rapidly approaching one year anniversary of your first date, things were not progressing. You and Kyle continued to have your sporadic get-togethers, but you no longer spent your weekends out with friends. 

Kyle worked long hours. You had taken up covering some of his shifts at the gym and eased off some of your hours at the coffee shop. You still had not met his parents, and because of it- you refused to introduce him to yours despite your mother’s pestering. 

You wanted to be upset about the arrangement. Part of you was. Kyle was hot and cold. When he was with you, it was hot. You felt on top of the world; desirable and valued. You enjoyed his company, even if it was just watching a movie on your couch. In those times, you convinced yourself that you could see the relationship building over time. You justified the pace by seeing his growth at work and his focus. Additionally, you took responsibility for your own busy schedule and your lack of effort in pushing for the relationship to move forward. You knew a conversation was needed, and despite your significant growth in boundaries, you still dreaded the difficult conversations. 

Since your call with Danny in May, Alex had been pressuring you to talk to Kyle. You were irked by this. Alex had never been a large supporter of your new relationship. Despite Alex’s (justified) anger towards Danny, she insisted you had moved on too quickly. As this relationship continued to take its unusual form, she continued to doubt the merits of Kyle’s feelings. While in Michigan, you didn’t see it. You continued to have your dates and fun and chalked up her reservations to being protective after what happened to you with Danny. 

Now, while laying on your lush bed in London, reading the empty messages between you and him- you questioned if Alex had been onto something. 

You rolled over, swiping through apps and opening Instagram. You searched for Kyle’s page, viewing his story posted a few hours before. It was simple, a repost of his gym’s recent promotion. The next story played, showing Danny’s picture of his view of the London Eye from the day before. You sighed, exiting out of stories. 

You clicked on Danny’s profile, scrolling through his recent posts, reading comments, and chuckling softly. You scrolled back to the top, noticing for the first time in a while the “tagged photos” page. You scrolled, careful to not accidentally like any fan’s pictures, but screenshotted a drawing of him as a mermaid you planned to tease him with later. 

You clicked back on the search bar, looking for Kyle once more. On his page, you clicked on the “tagged photos” tab. You scrolled past the gym promotional photos and froze. Posted just a day before, a throwback group photo from Italy. In the photo, his friends and family were gathered on the beach, drinks in hand and formal wear rolled to avoid the sand. 

Kyle stood off to the right side in the picture, looking nice in his grey tux for the wedding. Beside him, stood a tall, thin woman with long black hair. His arm wrapped around her waist, with his hand resting dangerously low on her hip. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and with a fire burning deep in your gut, you looked at him pressing his lips to the side of her head. 

You clicked on the picture, searching through the tags to find the mystery woman, but came up empty-handed. You looked through the people in the comments, looking through their profiles for any pictures of the wedding. You found some, but none contained the mystery black-haired woman. 

You rubbed your hands over your face roughly with frustration, checking the time. 

“I have to tell Alex.”

You clicked Facetime, waiting to unload what you had found. She answered on the third ring.

“Hey!” She greeted you cheerfully. 

“You’ll never fucking believe what I just found.”

Alex narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brow. “What? And where are you, what the fuck?”

You looked behind you, “We’ll get to that… Look. Here, I’ll share my screen.”

You opened Instagram and scrolled back to the tagged photo. You hit the button to share and waited for Alex’s reaction. 

“No fucking way. I TOLD you I hated that guy! Who is that?” She exclaimed. 

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to find her anywhere and I’m coming up dry.”

You watched as Alex’s video feed blurred. 

“Are you looking?” You asked.

“Of course. You don’t think she’s family? A sister?” She questioned. 

You shook your head and then remembered she couldn’t see, “No. No sister. Too young to be an aunt.”

“Maybe an old childhood friend.” She countered. 

“Al, look at his hand placement. That’s intimate… Danny would never grab me like that. 

Alex scoffed, “Y/N, do I need to remind you just how intimately that man has grabbed you?”

“Okay, no. Not right now. I want to get to the bottom of this. It’s been so weird between us. I can’t help but think something happened on that trip. He hardly contacted me then, and ever since he’s been more distant. Every time I think it’s just going to fizzle out he comes back we… you know… and go out and do something and it like resets a little.”

You heard Alex cringe,“Jeez, don’t ever talk about sex like that again. That was painful. Okay, I found her.”

You went silent. 

“Y/N?”

You took a deep breath, “I’m here, sorry. What did you find.”

“Stop sharing your screen. I’ll show you mine.”

Alex returned to the video call. You ended your screen share and waited for hers to load. When it did, you were faced with the highly aesthetic profile of the black-haired woman, Brielle. Her bio was written in both English and Italian “Med Student UNIFI. Amore Mio 05-14-2017” with a heart emoji. 

Alex scrolled to her photos, revealing she and Kyle posted together throughout Italy. Some of the photos were “now and then” showing her and him as teens in the same spot now as adults. 

You felt sick to your stomach. Alex scrolled and remained silent on the other end of the call, waiting for your response. Words escaped you. 

“Okay. Screenshot and send me, okay?”

Alex ended the screensharing and nodded. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N. I know you liked him.” She apologized. 

You sighed and rolled your shoulders around to ease tension. 

“I am not as surprised as you’d think I would be. I think I knew. I was happy just enjoying the company, but it was getting harder to just do that. Especially with this trip looming.”

Alex nodded. “You’re in London already?”

You nodded glumly. 

“I’m happy to be here. I hope we can settle some things. Unfortunately, this complicates things further. Is it crazy to say I feel really bad for her?”

“No. I mean a little bit because I’d definitely be jealous first, but I know you were already on your way out.”

You frowned, “Should I let her know? I mean I’ve never posted him to Instagram, only Facebook sometimes but that is private. She probably has no idea what he’s been doing back in Michigan.”

Alex shrugged, “I don’t know. She may not believe you. I worry about you going back home and him being really angry. I mean you don’t know him that well, Y/N. He’s kind of a meathead. Who knows how he would respond to this.”

You sighed and laid back on the bed, holding your phone up to face you. 

“Well, he’s been ignoring me so much anyway. I might as well enjoy my trip and  deal with it later.”

A knock sounded from your hotel door. 

“Oh, hold on. I think that’s my luggage delivery.”

You padded across the floor to the door. You opened it a crack and were surprised to see Danny standing with your luggage, “Oh!”

“What is it? You’re moving the camera and it’s making me sick.” Alex chirped from the phone. 

“It’s Danny, I’ll call you back.”

You ended the call before Alex could give a retort. 

“Hi, sorry. Alex. What are you doing here?” You asked, pushing the luggage inside the doorway. 

“I decided not to go out. It just felt weird for you to be alone here.”

“Oh.”

“I hope that’s okay?” He looked nervous in the doorway, rocking his weight softly from his heels to his toes. 

“Yeah, of course. I mean, come in. If you want?”

Danny passed you in the doorway, taking in the view of your room. 

“Wow, this is nice. I like your balcony.”

You smiled and nodded, pushing your bag to the corner of the room. 

“Yeah, it is very nice. Thank you again. Is your room similar?”

He nodded, taking off his shoes and leaving them on the tile near the bathroom door. 

“Similar but different layout and color.”

“Nice…” You crossed the room and leaned on the edge of the bed. 

“What do you want to do?” You asked. 

Danny pointed towards the bed, “May I?”

You blushed as he pointed but nodded. 

Danny sat beside you. 

“I was thinking we could watch a movie or something. Order room service. I’m sure there’s some kind of streaming on here. We never ended up watching that horror movie we wanted to see.”

“Which one?” You asked. 

“The Jordan Peele one.”

“Oh, Nope. Yeah, we could do that.”

Danny frowned and shifted his body to face you. 

“What’s wrong?”

You looked away. 

“It’s nothing. It’s complicated.”

“I know things are weird for now-”

You cut him off with a wave of your hand, “No, no really, Danny. It’s not that. 

Danny looked back at you with concern written all over his face. 

You sighed, weighing the cost and benefit of telling him what was on your mind. You resolved, knowing you needed the venting space and support he used to provide you.

“That guy I’ve been seeing, Kyle. I found something.”

You watched as his concern turned to anger, “Found what?”

You returned to chewing on the inside of your lip. You shook your head and searched for the picture on his Instagram. 

Danny was silent as he looked, zooming in on him and Brielle. 

You took the phone back from him and pulled up the screenshots sent to you by Alex. He shook his head back and forth as he swiped. 

“Seven years? Jeez, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know you must be crushed.”

You were surprised by the visceral reaction you had to his statement. 

“You know, I thought I would be. We’ve been seeing each other for almost a year. I’m hurt, but I am not surprised. I guess I feel a little stupid more than anything?”

Danny shook his head back and forth violently, some of his curls falling into his face. 

“I know exactly what you mean. It is not your fault you didn’t notice, Y/N. You’re a good person. You don’t expect people to do shitty things like that. I know I felt that way too… We don’t have to get into that. But don’t feel like you should have known.”

You gave him a weak smile. You had forgotten the extent of his relation to your plight. 

“Well, it was fun for the time. Luckily, it never got too serious. It’s not like we live together or anything. I don’t even know if we have exchanged “I love you’s” this whole time”

Danny lifted an eyebrow at you in return. “Never?”

You thought back through your relationship and shook your head. 

“No. Oh well. Forget him. I’m happy to be here. And you did not have to cancel going out for me, but I appreciate your company.”

Danny pushed himself up further on the bed, taking his place leaning against the headboard and pillows. 

“Well, you were there for me in the hardest times. I thought I needed to be there for you if I could. I didn’t think it would be because of heartbreak though. I would have brought booze.” 

You laughed and took your place beside him. He reached for the remote on the nightstand and took to looking for the movie. 

For the rest of the evening, you ordered room service. Instead of bringing just a cart, the staff brought in a table and set it up for a dinner for two, Fully equipped with a single candle and rose in the center. You and Danny joked and carried your plates from the set table to the bed, finishing your dinner in front of the TV. 

The conversation carried on smoother as the night progressed. Danny caught you up on the latest band drama. You told him about the books you had finished in your series since you had last seen him. You laughed a bit freer than you had expected. During graphic scenes of the movie, he laughed and covered your eyes like he had when you were young. He told you stories about crazed fans breaking into his backyard in Nashville. You told him about your fitness journey and you throwing up at the end of your first race. By the end of the night, it felt like just like it had been years before. You had built this friendship on a shared history that ran deeper than most others in your life. It felt good to clear out the past and to fill the gap in time that left you both feeling empty. 

“Daniel, it’s midnight. You have like the show of a lifetime tomorrow. You gotta get to bed.” You looked over at him. His eyes were closed as he was falling asleep beside you. 

You poked at his forearm.

“Danny, come on. If you wake up I’ll show you a picture of you as a mermaid.”

He opened an eye and frowned. 

You laughed, “I knew that would get you.”

Danny sat up and stretched, setting his dessert plate precariously on the side table. You pulled up the picture on your phone.

Danny shook his head.

“No comment.” He joked groggily. 

He sat opposite of you. His back rested against the headboard as you sat beside him, your knees bent and feet tucked under the pillows. For a moment you both looked at each other, too tired and tipsy to analyze the length of time that was appropriate. 

Danny broke the silence first, placing a hand atop one of your knees and giving it a squeeze before standing. 

“Thank you for tonight, Y/N.” 

You nodded, turning your body to face him, and swinging your leg over the edge of the bed. You watched as he put back on his shoes and lingered by the door. 

“I’ll have a strange schedule tomorrow. I’m going to try to see you a bit before we go on, but if I don’t- wish me luck. Know I’m going to be thinking about all the times we talked about this.”

You tried to smirk but were stopped by a yawn. 

Danny laughed and looked down. He crossed the room back to you and reached for a hug. When he pulled away, you felt him place a quick chaste kiss on your cheek. 

“Goodnight.” 

You were stunned as he turned and left the room. 

______________

The next day went by in a blur. Danny had called you in the morning, inviting you to join him for breakfast. Unfortunately, the jetlag had caught up with you. You did not wake until 1 in the afternoon, laying on top of the sheets having not changed into pajamas the night before. You responded quickly to his messages advising him on the situation and took to getting ready. 

Back in Michigan, you had toiled over what to wear to the show for weeks. You were used to casual outfits for concerts, but given the occasion and the grand box seat- you knew you would have to adjust. 

You had settled on a long-fitted cocktail dress with a deep slit in the side. Its fabric was soft, an almost silky midnight blue. It was an outfit you wouldn’t find yourself typically wearing, but in the past months, you had found yourself embracing as you experimented with styles. 

You hung your dress in the bathroom as you showered for an hour and fixed your hair. It was getting closer and closer to the time of the show. You anxiously adjusted your hair over and over, settling on curling it and pining it all to one side. Danny sent you silly photos from backstage, one showing Josh sitting on the floor meditating while Sam mocked him behind. 

You were relieved to see they still took time to goof around together. Over the past months, you had worried things were becoming too formal as their social media posts became more serious and music-focused. 

You finished the last touch of your makeup and pulled on your dress, taking a moment to turn in the mirror and check from all angles. At last, you dotted a few spots of your signature concentrated perfume to your neck, wrist, and inner thighs. 

Your phone pinged.

Daniel Wagner: “Avril’s going to come back and get you around 4. Is that enough time? I was hoping you’d be here for soundcheck and I can show you around the hall a bit.” 

Y/N: “Perfect timing. I am ready now.”

Daniel Wagner: “I’ll have him head there now. See you soon.”

You pushed down your nerves, checking yourself again and spraying another spritz of hair spray for good measure. 

________

Given the traffic, you arrived at the venue moments after soundcheck. You only had a few short minutes to see the backstage area before the show was to begin. Simon met you at the backdoor with a curt greeting and ushered you inside. You looked around in amazement, finding the hall even more beautiful than you had expected. 

“Y/N!” Danny called from down the hall. You smiled, passing Simon and reaching for a hug. 

“You look stunning.”

You smile sheepishly, “Thank you.”

Danny shook his head, “Wow, well…There’s some crew I want you to meet. And I know the boys want to see you before they go on.”

You nodded and allowed him to guide you back to the green room. Danny knocked at the door twice before opening it. 

“Nobody’s naked in here, right? I brought a surprise.”

“Is the surprise that you are naked?” You heard Jake joke from around the corner.

Danny opened the door wider and stepped to the side to reveal you. You saw Sam seated on the couch with his dog Rosie, Jake standing off to the left with a drink in his hand, and Josh standing at the mirror fussing with his hair. They all turned and stared. 

“Well, isn’t that a fucking Christmas miracle!” Josh yelled from across the room. “How’s my hair?”

You laughed and shook your head, “You guys don’t change. It looks amazing as always Josh.”

Jake crossed the space to give you a side hug. 

“It’s very good to see you, Y/N. It’s been too long.” 

You bent down to greet Rosie as she jumped at your feet. 

“Yes, it has! Hi, girl. Yes, I am so happy to see you too.” You cooed. 

“Okay, down girl. Come on, Rose.” Sam laughed as he took hold of her leash and reached for a hug. 

“I didn’t know if you’d come. I’m really glad you did.”

“Thank you. It still feels a little unreal, but I am excited.”

The four chatted with you, catching up on some of the latest news for you and them. When Sam brought up Kyle, you and Danny exchanged a brief glance. 

Without any reasonable reason, you lied. Answering that things were good, and changed the subject. You weren’t sure if it was the impending show, or your need to process the night before a bit further before discussing it with others, but you felt the need to carry the secret of your impending breakup a bit longer. 

“And it’s time boys, stage ready in 10.” A voice called from the door. 

The boys rose and headed towards the green room door. 

“Well, that’s show biz babe. We’ll catch up with you later. We’ll go for drinks?” Josh questioned and pointed back and forth between you and Danny. 

Danny shrugged and nodded. 

Josh, Sam, and Jake filed their way out the door and down the hall. 

Danny lingered, his expression and body language similar to the night before. 

“Hold on. Take a walk with me, quickly?”

You looked out the door towards where the others had gone. 

“Do you have time?” You asked anxiously. 

“Really fast.” 

You nodded and followed his pace quickly, trying to keep up with his long stride while in heels. 

He turned to his left in front of a door with a sign: “Dressing room: Jake and Josh Kiszka” He used a key card and turned the knob. 

Your heart beat fast as you entered the room. 

“Where are we going?” You questioned. 

Danny flipped on the light, revealing a room decorated with portraits along all the walls. You walked, silently looking at each of the artist’s photographs, seeing the transitions from black and white to color. 

Danny walked silently behind you, looking as you did. 

“There’s Adele.” He pointed. 

You looked around the room and stopped, seeing where the photos ended, and space left for the future artists to be added. You turned back to Danny with tears brimming In your eyes. 

“Thank you.” You spoke quietly.

He smiled back at you with more warmth than usual. He pulled you against his chest, resting his forehead atop your head. 

“I’m so proud of you, Danny. I know you hear everyone say how amazing you are all the time, but I have to say it. I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to see you up there tonight. Don’t think about anything else but what you guys have done together. It’s incredible. You four weirdos from Frankenmuth.” 

You wiped your tears quickly and hoped your mascara was waterproof. Danny let you pull away. 

“Thank you.” Danny went to say more but pushed his in ear in further. 

“I need to go. I just wanted to show you this room. They took our picture just before you got here. We’re going to go right there.” 

You smiled and squeezed his forearm before you exited the room.

You followed him back down the long hall, hearing the team running around preparing the last-minute stage setup. 

Behind him, the orchestra overture began to play for the audience.

“Listen, I know this is terrible timing because I have to go in a minute but listen. I need you to know, that I’m sorry. You tried to warn me about Kayla and I-“

Your stomach sank. For the last two days, you had allowed yourself to forget this elephant in the room. Now, minutes before he was to take the stage, you felt the anxiety return; covering you like a weighted blanket.  You shifted your weight as he spoke, trying to ease the discomfort. You looked back at him, not hearing his words, but looking at the softness and genuine grief etched on his features. 

Before thinking it through, you spoke.

 “Oh, Danny. You can’t possibly still think that’s why I left…”

You watched him freeze mid-rehearsed speech, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. He stepped closer to you in the hall. He shot a glance behind him towards the stage, seeing crew running around down the hall. 

“Y/N…Fuck!” He pulled out his in ear and let it dangle before leaning closer to you. 

“What do you mean?”

Behind him, Sam ran back down the hall, “DANIEL! We’re on. You’re gonna miss the fucking cue!” 

Your heart pounded as you hear the overture nearing its close. The music swelled in tune with your nerves. Sam ran towards the door, leaving Danny hovering between running and staying to finish your conversation. 

He returned his gaze to you, taking a deep breath as if to calm his own nerves. 

You paused, looking over his features, realizing that for the first time in a long time- he was present. At this moment, he was choosing you. Your nervousness turned to ice in your stomach and pumped through your veins. You looked up at him, meeting his warm, chocolate eyes. The overture swelled in the distance, ringing its final tones. With a shallow breath, you leaped. 

“Danny, I left because I love you.”

The result was instant, you watched as his eyes widened in shock, the track behind him finishing its final note. He raised his arms halfway as if frozen in place. He looked your face over once before quickly turning, and running towards the stage, leaving you without any resolve.

________

For a moment, you stood frozen in the hall. Your heart beat fast, competing with Danny’s drums in the distance. You knew there was no sense standing and missing the show. Waiting in terror would not make the answers come any faster. 

You took a moment to collect yourself, leaning against the wall and listening to them play. After a moment, you realized this was your first show where you had not heard the album as it was created. Behind you, they played The Falling Sky, a song you had only heard in passing a few times. With this realization, sadness touched you. For so many years you had sat crosslegged in someone’s living room, listening to each of them offer riffs or lyrics as they built the songs. You had laid on Danny’s bed as he sat in a chair and played you what would later become Broken Bells. (Naturally, your favorite song from the last album.) You sighed, taking your grief and choosing to find your box. 

You climbed the stairs, you found the the box fuller than when you had initially seen it from the stage. As you opened the curtain, you smiled, meeting the excited eyes of Danny’s mom, Lori. 

“Y/N! Oh my god!” She bounced from her place and enveloped you in a hug. 

You smiled and embraced her, letting her rock you from side to side. She released you, holding your arms out and looking you up and down. You laughed shly. So often her mannerisms reminded you so much of her son. Seeing her here was a warm welcome. As if the past had never happened and you were just another one of her kids come home. 

“You look amazing! Ah! I’m so happy you made it. They just went on. Here we have a spot for you here.”

Lori ushered you from the door and pointed you to seat on her left. You smiled, seeing Jita stand in the spot next to you. 

“Y/N, Hi! Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize you were coming!” Jita hugged you quickly. 

“It’s so good to see you!” You hugged her back.

“I’ve missed you!” She shouted.

You smiled, “I missed you too!”

You took a moment after your greeting to look around the hall. Every seat was full. Each fan was dressed to the nines, sparkles shining off of them all as the lights rotated the venue. You stood stunned, watching as they screamed the words to the songs, recording videos of each of the boys and they jumped around the stage. 

You swallowed a lump in your throat, tears returning to your eyes as you looked around. 

You looked, catching Lori watching you out of the corner of her eye. She reached a hand across the aisle between you and squeezed your hand gently. 

“I know. They’re incredible, aren’t they?”

You laughed, feeling a tear escape over the edge and run down your cheek. You wiped it quickly and nodded. Behind Lori, Dan gave you a smile and nod. 

On the stage below, Danny played. Hitting the drums harder than you had seen in years, his curls bouncing. Josh engaged with the crowd as he sang, eliciting a chorus of screams from the front row. You watched as each of the boys played with a new verve and brio. 

Sam stepped to the front of the stage and sang into his mic. 

“Oh my god! Sam!” You yelled and cheered. 

Jita laughed beside you and pointed. 

“I know, right!”

You felt the energy in the room swell as the show went on. Josh played his harmonica, Jake took his solo, walking to the edge of the stage, and pointed his guitar up at the box. Jita smiled, blowing him a dramatic kiss, and watched him laugh. 

“I hope we passed the audition!” Josh yelled into the mic. 

You laughed, feeling yourself a little breathless. 

“What an event we have tonight… and I don’t mean the football game… lots of events.” Josh continues.

You hear a chorus of cheers from the crowd. 

“And here we all are tonight… in this one space. There’s lots of rafters to scale. So this will be fun. Lots to climb….”

You laugh and lean into Jita, “If anyone was gonna climb their way up here it’d be him.”

Jita laughed. 

“I hear there’s Talk On The Street.” Josh finished. 

You gasped, throwing a hand to cover your mouth. Below you caught a quick look from Danny, a large smile plastered across his face and he lifted his drumsticks and pointed at you. 

Many years ago, when you were just a teen coming to their gigs, Talk on the Street had been your favorite. You danced in seedy bars, singing with their families and cheering them on. Eventually, as their discography grew, other songs took its place. It had been many years since you had heard them play it, let alone them play it live. 

Part of you dared to wonder if it was Danny’s influence that resurrected your favorite song for this show. Your cheeks burned as you considered.  

You watched Danny hit his sticks and count them in. Within a few lyrics, you allowed yourself to move freely. You screamed the lyrics and danced alongside Jita and Lori as you had years before. Both laughed, mouthing lyrics along with you. 

You felt two strong hands grasp your shoulders from behind and give them a shake. You looked over your shoulder and gasped once more. 

“Karen!” You yelled.

“It’s your song!” She screamed back. 

You laughed and shook your head, silently taking the validation. You gave her and Kelly a quick hug. The music blasted, making conversation difficult. Karen grasped your hands, using them as her silent communication as you both yelled to catch up. 

“And look who’s here!” She yelled back, letting go of one of your hands to motion to her side. You looked to her left, suddenly noticing who was beside her for the first time. You felt yourself chill as you met the glare of Callie Kiszka. 

You looked back to Karen, realizing quickly that she expected you to be excited, or at the least, cordial. The news of your falling out had clearly not reached her as she guided your hands toward one another. 

You fought your feelings to give a courteous grin to her. 

“Good to see you again.” You yelled with a nod of your head. 

Callie returned your greeting with an icy smile and nod. 

“Likewise.” She returned her view back to the stage. 

You noted the quick motherly squint from Karen as she looked back and forth between the two of you, catching the tension. You squeezed her hand and gave her a smile before turning your own attention back to the stage. 

“Callie fucking Kiszka in the flesh.” You thought as you watched the boys and cheered. “And no wedding ring to be seen.”

The stage lights dimmed, casting a dark blue hue over the stage and crowd. There was a pause before they transitioned. 

Suddenly, Danny began a steady beat of the kick drum. Lights flashed with each pound as the audience clapped along in time. He increased his beats as fans cheered and clapped. You screamed along, the tune suddenly becoming familiar. 

“Oh wow! Black Smoke too! This feels like old times, doesn’t it?” You leaned into Jita once more. 

She nodded with a smile and clapped along. 

The show continued with fervor. Each of the boys took their moment to shine in the spotlight, soaking in the moment as they scanned the hall. You knew this was not just any show to them, but one that would be etched into history long after they played their final chord. You took the moments with them, watching the faces of all the girls standing and screaming in their seats. You and Jita took turns pointing out different outfits that stood out to you, smiling, and appreciating the love that was so palpable in the venue. 

Fans screamed at the top of their lungs as Runway Blues finished. Sam, Jake, and Josh all exited the stage, leaving Danny alone under the spotlight. 

You felt your hands get clammy. You knew he had played for audiences much larger than the Royal Albert Hall before and that he was more than capable, but you were nervous for him. 

He played harder than you had ever seen. He kept his eyes down and focused as he played. He varied the tempo and patterns. Building the solo to an edge and then backing off of it. 

You felt yourself smirk as he played with the sound, effectively edging you and every audience member with his performance. You scanned his body over, taking the time to appreciate the swell of the muscles in his shoulders and arms as he played. He wore a red sequined top, a loose chain connecting the front and back panels. As he moved, the fabric swayed, giving you a peek of the toned stomach beneath. 

You swallowed hard, reminding yourself of his parents sitting less than a foot from you. You took a moment to collect yourself, ordering a drink to be delivered to the box. 

Danny threw his head back, his chest heaving from the exertion. The fan’s screams intensified. You watched as a smirk grew on his face. You glanced at the front row, noticing more fans pulling out phones to record. You shook your head and grinned. 

“You cheeky fuck.” You thought with amusement. 

Your drink arrived as his solo concluded. Danny rose from his kit, brushed his sweaty curls from his face, and lifted his arms in the air. You stood and screamed, waiting as he panned his gaze across the venue before locking onto you. He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows to you as if to say “How about that?” You laughed and raised your glass to him with a cheer.

Danny laughed before sitting behind the kit once more. 

Sam took to the keys, playing a low melancholy tone. You looked over your shoulder back to Karen with a quizzical look. 

“Age of Man.” She whispered back to you. 

“Oh!” You replied with surprise. 

You watched as Jake returned to the stage with a solo, Josh walking in behind him. A white light from the right of the stage cast Josh in a bright glow as he sang. 

You felt a soft tap on your shoulder. You turned, seeing Jen, the band’s stylist behind you in the aisle of the box. She waved you over, walking back towards the exit. You looked around at Jita and Lori with confusion. Jita shrugged and motioned for you to follow Jen. 

You rose, grabbing your clutch purse and readjusting the side split in your black dress. You exited the curtain, giving the Royal Hall employee a nod as you passed by. Jen waited for you in the hallway. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked. 

She nodded and smiled, “Oh, of course! They’re about to go to intermission. Danny just asked me to grab you for him.”

You sighed as the anxiety once again took you on a rollercoaster. For a moment, you had forgotten the open conversation you’d had before the performance. 

“Oh, now?”

She nodded, “Yep. I’ll take you to the dressing room.”

You followed behind her quickly. Jen cast compliments to the fans as she went. 

“I’ll never stop appreciating how creative these fans are with their fashion. Makes the shows so much fun.”

You were too nervous to give her a response, instead settling for a half smile and nod. You entered a backstage door, Jen scanning her badge and ushering you in. You winded through the back hall before stopping at a door with a laminated paper taped to it. On top, the Starcatcher logo and below in bold letters “Dressing Room: Daniel and Sam”

Jen used her badge once more, pushing open the door to reveal a simple, tan room with two large green velvet couches and a coffee table. To the right was a counter, lined with snacks, an espresso machine, an ice maker, and a mini bar. 

“Make yourself at home. He’ll be right in.” Jen closed the door behind you, leaving you standing awkwardly in the doorway.

You looked around the room further, seeing the clothes rack where Danny and Sam’s alternate stage outfits hung. On the edge of the couch, two folded stacks of casual clothes sat, no doubt folded by Jen after each discarded them to the floor to don what they wore for the show. 

You crossed the floor to the bar and took a moment to down a shot of tequila to calm your nerves. You gagged and shook your head before tossing the evidence into the trash. Distantly the music ended, and the crowd cheered. 

You took a seat on the couch facing the door and took calming breaths. Your hands felt clammy. You laid them flat on your dress’s skirt. You heard steps approaching quickly. 

You stood up nervously and shifted your weight between your feet, unsure how to approach this. 

The door beeped as it unlocked and swung open. For a moment, you both stood frozen, waiting for the other to make a move. You searched frantically throughout your mind for the right words to say but found none.

Danny was locked in on your eyes. He stepped forward, allowing the door to close behind him and lock with a click.  

Without warning, he rushed towards you, wrapping an arm around your waist and a hand behind your head. 

You gasped as his lips met yours. You collapsed into him, deepening the kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, letting your hands explore the bare skin beneath the shawl he wore on stage. 

You heard him groan into your mouth. His hand tightened on your hair as you raised your hands higher, feeling the valley of the muscles in his shoulders. 

Your thoughts raced. Daniel. The one plays for thousands of adoring fans. Daniel. The boy who came to your rescue at the cabin as children. Daniel. The one laughing with you last night. Daniel. The man who broke your heart. All versions of him stood before you now. Your bodies intertwined, feeling the karmic debt between you finally being settled.

He released his hand from your hair, lowering it until both hands reached the base of your ass. In one swift move, he lifted you and wrapped your legs around his waist. You pulled away from his lips momentarily with a surprised laugh. You tucked your face into the crook of his neck. He walked you back to the counter and rested you on its edge. His skin felt hot. You glanced down at your legs, seeing how far your dress had risen. You blushed.

Danny reached for your face, lifting your chin to look up at him. His expression was dark, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a sly grin. You felt your stomach tingle, a wave of renewed bravery washed over you. 

You leaned towards him slowly, watching his eyes flit down to your mouth. You kissed him hard before taking his bottom lip gently between your teeth. He huffed, taking his hands from your back to brace himself on either side of you on the counter. You explored his mouth with your tongue, dragging it across his sharp canine teeth with a shutter. 

He released the counter, leaning his full weight against you as he reached for the fastens on the side of his top. He struggled, finally taking the bottom of the shirt and pulling it up in one aggressive motion; the chains at the sides snapping with the force. He pulled the fabric over his head and let it fall to the floor behind him. You leaned back resting your arms behind you, taking in the sight of his bare torso. You noted the beat of his heart visible in his chest. 

Danny looked you up and down, tentatively taking his hands and sliding them slowly up the sides of your thighs. Your dress rose higher with his touch, his eyes lifted to meet yours. 

You nodded, encouraging his movement. He looked back to your legs, running his hands up the length of them before resting at the hem of your thong. He leaned his body against you, resting his forehead against your shoulder as he pulled them down. 

He guided your knees together and rested them against his chest. He pulled your thong down the full length of your legs before discarding it to the floor. 

You took stilling breaths as he pulled your knees apart, his eyes raking over you. Slowly, he kneeled before you, settling himself between your legs. You gasped, reaching a hand to the top of his head.

He paused, looking up at you from behind the edge of your dress. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered, breathlessly.

You caught your breath, glancing from him to the door. 

“You’re sure, Sam is not coming in?” You whispered back.

Danny flashed you a white smile before shaking his head. 

“Y/N, I’ve thought about this for years. I’m going to take my time.”

Danny lowered his lips to the side of your knee, trailing kisses down the inside of your thigh. He reached up, wrapping his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer to his face. 

You let your head fall back as he reached the center, placing a kiss against your sensitive clit. Gently, he swiped his tongue over it, electricity shooting down your legs. Without realizing it, your hand closed around his curls, pulling them. He moaned, tightening his grip on your thigh as he changed patterns, switching between up and down and circled movements. You shifted beneath him, feeling the tension build within you.

He increased the pace of his tongue, bringing you closer to your peak. Your back began to arch, and you braced yourself against the counter, pushing yourself closer to his mouth. You shuttered, feeling the rush of hot air brush against your skin as he worked. 

“Fuck, Danny…” You inhaled. 

You reached for his head, tapping him. His dark eyes rose to meet yours, his lips plump and shiny. 

You took several heavy breaths as you watched him, debating what to do next. He paused, waiting for your direction.

“Come here.” You surprised yourself with the strength in your voice. 

He stood, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before leaning in to kiss you once more. 

You laid a palm against his chest, feeling hammering from within. You turned your hand, gliding it down his chest and abdomen, gingerly approaching his waistband. 

He hissed, laying his head against your shoulder, his hips involuntarily moving towards your motion. You reached in, allowing your fingertips to drag along the base of his erection, savoring the moan that escaped him. 

You felt your nerves returning. Despite over a decade of being close friends, this was a line neither of you had crossed. What lay beyond the thin fabric layer of his boxers was a mystery to you. 

You pulled your hand back and rested it on the top of his pants button. He raised his hand and covered yours, guiding you to undo them. You obliged. With trembling hands, you removed his stage pants, slowly moving the tight fabric down his toned legs.

You paused, looking him over in his state of undress. He reached for you, gently pulling the straps of your dress over your shoulders and exposing your chest. You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you. He looked down at the view of your breasts against him and placed a kiss on the top of your shoulder. 

He moved his lips to your cheek and kissed before lowering them to your ear.

He spoke in a husky tone you had never heard before, “Do you want this?”

You nodded fervently, leaning your cheek to rest against his. 

He reached down, freeing himself from his boxers. You kept your arms around his neck as he positioned himself, scared to look down and lose your nerve.

Danny was gentle, he held you, bracing an arm against your lower back as he guided himself up and down through your slick folds. You collapsed against him, allowing him to support your weight as he moved. He pushed in; the two of you synchronizing in your sharp inhales. 

He returned his lips to yours; his kisses much more gentle than before. You rocked with him, allowing your bodies to flow together as you worked together. 

His pace quickened. A soft moan escaped you before you could stop it. He laughed, answering with a quick squeeze of your ass and a harder thrust. You rested on his shoulder, gently biting down as the pressure built. 

Danny reached his hand around to the front, pushing your dress roughly up away from your joined bodies. He rested his hand across your hip, allowing his thumb to rest lazily across your clit, barely grazing the sensitive spot. You wiggled, begging for relief from the friction. As if sensing your need, he raised his hand to his mouth, spitting quickly onto his fingers before bringing it down to you. He rubbed steadily, causing stars to explode in your vision. You panted, rocking and bringing your hips crashing against him. His thrusts quickened, never losing the steady rhythm on your clit. 

You laid limp against him, moans quickly becoming harder to conceal as he worked. 

He breathed hard, sweat accumulating against his brow. You tucked your face into his shoulder to try to dampen your noises.

He spoke in a desperate cry, “Let me hear you.” 

You cried out as you broke, feeling yourself tumble over the edge with him. His thrusts falter as you cling to one another. 

You stay here, slick bodies pressed against each other in the dressing room for several moments as you come down. When you are ready, you release your arms from his neck, pressing one last kiss to the top of his shoulder as he pulls away. 

He looked you up and down, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. 

You hesitate, tempted to cover yourself before he speaks. 

“I love you too, Y/N.”

You open your mouth to respond as a soft knock sounds at the door. 

“5-minute warning, Daniel.” You hear Sam’s voice sound from outside the door. 

You stifle a laugh with your hand, looking back at Danny and he smiles back at you and laughs. 

“Well… We made good use of the intermission.” He jokes. 

You shake your head and push yourself off the counter and stretch. You readjust your dress, pushing it down at the thighs and tucking your arms back into the straps. 

“How do I look?” You asked.

“Like you’ve just been fucked.” 

You felt your cheeks burn from embarrassment and exertion. 

Daniel reaches to the floor and hands you back your dark maroon thong hooked on one finger. 

You grin, and take them from him. You watch him don his boxers and leather pants. Without explaining, you come to him, reaching for his front right pocket before tucking your panties deep inside. 

He looked down, watching you with a sultry grin.

He laughed and batted your hand away, “Careful. I might not make it back to the stage.” 

Danny picked up his broken shirt from the floor and tossed it onto the nearest couch. Quickly, he crossed the room and pulled a black beaded shawl off the clothes rack. He draped it over his shoulders and fastened it at his neck.

He returned, reaching for his in ears on the counter to the left of you. He returned it to his ear, looking off to the side at the dressing room clock. 

He closed the distance between you, taking you into his arms and kissing you deeply. He pressed his sweaty forehead against yours. 

“I know we will have to talk. I have to go. But… Y/N… My only regret is not doing this sooner.”

Your heart fluttered as you watched him leave. You took a deep breath, knowing that nothing in your life would ever be the same. 

A New Life

(TW: Mentions of consensual s*xual activities and kissing.)

Two years later… May 2024

Two years ago, you had made yourself a promise as you rode back home from Malibu in tears. 

You would never pine or grovel after someone ever again. 

Charged by your anger with Danny, you woke the next morning and drove straight to your law firm. You walked into Debra’s office and threw your security clearance tag on her desk. You quit without notice, savoring the shock on her face.

As you drove back to your apartment, you ignored your calls. You sat at home, watching your phone ring silently as Gabe, Sam, Danny, and Josh’s took turns coming and going from the screen.

You knew there was no further path for you in LA. You had tried and failed for years to be someone else. You had hoped that being far from home would teach you who you were but instead, it left you more confused than you had been before.

It took weeks, but you broke your lease with your apartment, transferred to online classes at your college, and used any savings you had to move back home to Michigan. Alex took her brief break from work to help you pack. At the end of it all, you found the hardest part of leaving LA was leaving her. You both promised to schedule FaceTime calls and keep in touch and for the most part, you kept to it. 

Right away, the transition was freeing. You found a small one-bedroom apartment in Grand Rapids where you originally lived with your family. You completed your coursework from the comfort of your bed. You got up and worked minimal shifts at a local coffee shop. You met your parents biweekly for dinner, and slowly you stopped seeing Danny in every stranger who ordered a flat white from your store.

You painted the walls of your bedroom lavender. You ordered takeout more than you wanted to admit, and you often found yourself staying up until daylight reading mediocre romance novels on your Kindle. Though it was lonely at times, it was a life solely yours. At times you thought of it as “your life if your parents never moved.”

Over time, you started allowing yourself to reply to the boy’s messages. All but Sam seemed confused about your abrupt departure. Due to this, Sam seemed to be the one you stayed in touch with the most. He sent you pictures and updated you about the band’s milestones. You replied with genuine pride and enthusiasm. You had known them for so long and watched firsthand the work it had taken for them to get this far. Despite your sour feelings towards Daniel, you never wished the band any ill. Danny texted you his own updates from time to time; A Snapchat showing his new haircut, a picture of the crowd at the Bottlerock festival with “Wish you were here, Y/N/N” typed across, a silly picture of Jake and Josh on the tour bus.

As you established your life back in Michigan, the boys resumed touring, growing bigger each and every time you checked in. You scrolled Instagram, watching each of their personalities slowly recede from their socials as managers took over posting. As time went on, the ache as you watched from the sidelines, eased. The four boys became beautiful strangers that only existed to you in your memories. 

You watched from a distance as your childhood best friend dated beautiful girls, donned dark eyeliner, and got a tattoo. He traveled across the world playing sold-out shows. On the lonelier nights, you read through old messages. Remembering what it was like to talk freely, to know what he’d say before he even said it. You wondered if somewhere, at some point, he ever wondered the same. 

Over time life in Grand Rapids blossomed. In the late summer of 2023, a man came into the coffee shop during your shift. He was handsome and fit. Long blonde hair tied back in a bun, his toned abs visible through the sides of his cut-out tank top. You’d watched him from behind the coffee bar for weeks, quietly and respectfully admiring his looks. He was not someone you’d consider your type or better said, someone you would think would find interest in you.

But after a few weeks of him coming in to order black coffee, he approached you and asked you out. You had given him a tentative yes, scribbling your number messily down on the shop’s brand-stamped napkin. After you clocked out and hung up your apron, you immediately called Alex for an update on the walk home. 

Much to your dismay, over a few days of texting, Kyle’s idea of a decent first date was to have you join him in a workout class he ran down the road. Your immediate reaction was to avoid, but he was persistent and his smile brightened your day as he continued to come in to see you. 

You decided to take a risk, breaking out your hardly used sports bra, bicycle shorts, and running shoes, and joined him for possibly the hardest workout you had ever done. You weren’t sure if it was the rush of endorphins or the intoxicating praise he whispered to you mid-session. After the class finished and he locked the gym door, you guided him to the locker room; letting him strip you of your sweaty clothes, and pressing your bare back against the shower wall while he explored you with his mouth. It was heated, and not like any other sexual encounter you had had before. 

You both were feral, spending weekends and lunch breaks fucking like rabbits. Finding yourself with his hand over your mouth in the office supply closet at work, him keeping a steady rhythm behind you. Alex was convinced you were having a quarter-life crisis, even going as far as to suggest you find a therapist in the new area to discuss these developments. 

But you were happy. Kyle and you were casual. In the seven months you had been seeing each other, neither of you made big moves or suggestions to each other about meeting parents or future living arrangements. You spent your free time going out on hikes and day trips, joining groups of his friends out at bars. 

You were unexpectedly comfortable. You maintained your own independence with your own studies and apartment. When the mood was right, you spent an evening together. You had never been in better shape in your life. You joked with Kyle you weren’t sure if it was his personal training in or out of the gym that was doing it.

You saw changes within yourself, more than just physical. You set boundaries easier with work and those around you. You found healthier ways to cope; spending time going for runs to blow off the stress instead of spiraling and running away. Life was good. 

Yet, from time to time, after Kyle left to go home, your thoughts wandered. You worried if the changes were too drastic. If you had found just what you had fled- feeling like a stranger in your own life. 

_____

May 14th, 2024

You sat alone on the floor in your apartment, legs crossed on your yoga mat. You focused on your breathing; taking slow controlled breaths through your nose and out your mouth, letting the anxieties of your final college semester quiet from your mind. 

The day before, you had driven Kyle and his brother to the airport in Detroit. The two of them would be gone for the better part of a month visiting their family in Italy for their cousin’s wedding. Part of you was a little surprised by the arrangement, but you grounded yourself in the realities of your relationship. It was still new, and something about international travel to meet the family seemed more serious than anyone was ready for. You left him at the airport with a quick hug and kiss and he promised to send you lots of pictures.

It was odd being left to your thoughts again. Spring break was in full swing. Most of your time during the semester was spent doing coursework, hanging out with Kyle, or taking classes at his gym. While Kyle was gone, you agreed to host the gym’s community runs a few times a week, and had taken extra shifts at the coffee shop to pass the time.

But now was one of those rare days where your responsibilities illuded you, and in their place your thoughts raced, demanding attention. 

You released yourself from your position on the yoga mat, stretching your legs out in front of you before reaching for your toes. You kept your eyes closed, leaning into the stretch while focusing on your breathing like you had learned. 

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table beside you. 

You opened your eyes, sighed, and reached for it. With Kyle traveling, you’d promised to be more aware of your messages in case of an emergency. You froze, taking in the name and contact picture before you. 

An old photo of you and Danny, drunk and posed kissing each cheek of the Frankenmuth Cheese Haus mascot on one of your trips back home together.

Your stomach dropped as his call went to voicemail, Apple translating his words to text for you. You read with a bated breath, hearing the words in his voice.

“Hi, Y/N. It’s Daniel. I mean… I’m sure you know that. If you have my number still I guess… I know we haven’t talked in a long time…”

The translation paused, as he was unsure how to continue.

“I don’t understand what happened with us. I just want you to know, I’m sorry. And I miss you. You were right about, Kayla. Everything with her. I… I don’t know why I didn’t see it then. I, fuck, I’m sorry I said I wasn’t going to say all this if I called. Just whatever we need to get over, I want to fix it. Together. We have so much going on in our lives, and I just… you’re supposed to be here. I know things are different now. Sam keeps me updated on you a bit… He mentioned you’re back in Michigan.”

The transcription paused, your finger hovering over the answer button. Before you could press, the transcription continued.

“We are playing Royal Albert Hall. Ever since we found out, I just keep thinking about us talking about it as kids. Do you remember that? I don’t know if you do, or if you even care anymore. But just, think about it, Y/N/N. I know it would mean a lot to the guys, and to me, of course. Come see us play. I can take care of everything. I just… I want you back in my life.”

The transcription pauses for a final time as if he waited for you to answer.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I hope to hear from you.”

The transcript on the screen ended, returning your phone to your lock screen of you and Kyle at the top of one of your hikes. You stared at the screen in silence, locking your phone and returning it to the table. 

Slowly you laid back flat against the ground, staring at the ceiling. 

_____

February 2014

You were 15 years old. You lay on the couch in the basement of Danny’s childhood home. He sat in the large recliner beside you, his feet up. In the background,  21 Jumpstreet played on the basement TV.

You rolled over onto your stomach, propping your head up on your hands as you looked over at Danny.

“Okay, so. Dead or alive, who is your dream band to open for?”

Danny smiled, dramatically placing his thumb and forefinger under his chin, “Hm, good question. I mean, realistically- anyone who is coming through the arenas here. I’m not picky. I’d just be happy to play.”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s a dream. You don’t have to be realistic. Think big, Daniel!”

Danny pulled the leaver on his chair, folding in the legrest, and rocked. 

“Okay, big. Dead? The Beatles. Led Zepplin, of course. Alive? Man… Foo Fighters would be crazy.”

You smile and nod.

“What about you?” He asks you.

You barked a laugh, “Oh gosh, I’m not sure I’d ever be opening for anyone musically. People wouldn’t pay to hear that. But for you… Mmm, Bruno Mars?”

Daniel laughed, “Bruno Mars? I’m not sure we’d be the type of band he’d play with.”

You smile, throwing a throw pillow from the couch at him. 

“Well, maybe that’s why he’d like you. Something new. Plus who knows if you’d still be in this band. Maybe you’ll be on your own in the future.”

Danny catches your thrown pillow and rests his hands on top of it on his lap. 

Danny shook his head, “I don’t know. I can’t imagine being in a different band.”

“Well, do you guys ever dream about places you’d like to play one day?” You asked, returning your head to the couch, facing the TV in front of the two of you. 

“We do. I do a little bit. I mean, it’s kind of dumb of me right now. There’s no chance I’m ever going to ever going to see someone else play in them. Let alone me playing them.”

You sat up, giving your friend a sympathetic look, “I know you will, Dan. I can feel it. So where? Fess up. Where do I need to plan to travel to one day? I won’t judge.” 

Danny chuckled, examining his hands in his lap.

“The venue in Saginaw. The stadium. Los Angeles… Chicago. I want to play a show outside of the country. Like, I don’t know. Mexico or Canada. Madison Square Garden.”

You listened intently with a smile, seeing the energy bubbling from him as he spoke.

“I want to see you at the Royal Albert Hall in England.”

Danny laughed and shot you a quizzical look, “What do you know about Royal Albert Hall?” 

You cross your arms, “I know it’s a gorgeous venue in a really cool city!” 

Daniel scoffed and gave you a sarcastic smirk, “You just love London because of One Direction.”

“I do not!” 

You go to reach for another pillow to throw but forget you had already thrown yours. 

Danny continued his smirk but handed you back your pillow. 

“Thank you.” 

You threw the pillow back at him. 

Danny laughed and caught it once more.

“Okay, maybe I do… But that has nothing to do with the hall! You know who played there? Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, LED ZEPPLIN? I can see you guys playing there. I’d be in the crowd, cheering you on.”

You cut a glance at him out of the corner of your eye, only to see him trying to hide his smile.

“Well, Y/N. You’ll be my guest of honor. Even if it’s not me playing, we’ll go.”

You smile, rolling over onto your back, “You mean it?”

“Of course I do. It can be OUR dream.”

______

You lie on the floor most of the evening, too anxious to do much more than scroll through TikTok. From time to time, you’d swipe quickly on a video related to the band, and curse the accuracy of the app’s algorithm.

You had an impossible decision to make. One you didn’t feel you could even tell your friends about. To reject Danny’s invitation was to close the door of your friendship for good. It was the permanent seal on the last chapter of your childhood. To accept was to challenge your growth. To put your will and boundary-making abilities to the ultimate test, and to walk straight into his fire.

For the last 2 years, you watched Danny grow from afar. He took the stage with a regenerated self, embracing his sexuality and fueling himself on the praise of the crowd. Initially, you were shocked and put off by the change; wondering if he was having a quarter-life crisis of his own. But over time, he bloomed. He became a bolder version of himself, with just a touch of darkness and mystery you weren’t familiar with. 

It was… attractive to say the least. As much as you tried to limit the time you spent checking in with their socials, (going as far as to unfollow each of their band accounts) when you did, you found yourself as flustered as the fans in the comments. Unlike them, you knew what it was like to have his hands on your body and his tongue exploring your mouth. You couldn’t imagine what this new version of him could do, and when you caught yourself considering it- you remembered what happened in LA and why you gave him up for good. 

If you were to accept his invitation, it would be the ultimate test. Part of you feared a repeat of what had happened before. But the risk of Kayla was gone. During one of Sam’s updates shortly after your move away, he informed you that Danny had called it off with her for good. You didn’t believe him at the time, but the information stood the test of time. Kayla all but disappeared from the world. She ceased posting antagonistic Instagram stories and posting in general. When the boys played different shows, she was nowhere to be seen. You were dying to know what the final straw had been but were unwilling to speak to anyone about her any more than you had to. If Danny was willing to move on from her, you had to as well.

Your phone pinged as you scrolled, Kyle’s name popping up at the top of the screen. Your stomach sank. In the several hours following Danny’s message, you had yet to consider Kyle and his feelings on the matter. You opened his message to see a picture; the view of the sea from his aunt’s house on the beach. You frowned, debating on heart reacting or typing a full reply. You settled on the former. 

It was hard to gauge what Kyle’s reaction would be. Living in Michigan, he was familiar with Greta Van Fleet. You had told him you grew up with them and had been quite close. But the topic of your heartbreak had never been explicitly linked to them in your discussions. Kyle knew someone had broken your heart and it led you back home. During these discussions, he never asked for more information. He told you he was sorry you had been hurt but he was glad it led to your meeting. You were inclined to agree on most days, but on days like this it caused your relationship to feel empty; like Kyle was missing an integral part of your life, missing a large piece of context to what made you, you. 

You often worried it would not get deeper. That despite your chemistry, you and Kyle would never be much more than fuck buddies who hung out in public from time to time. While this arrangement was adequate for this moment in your life, the juxtaposition of these two relationships was jarring and disorienting.