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tw: emotional distress, profanities, use of y/n, angst.
a/n: post twenty-seven! 🩵 my tl was full of bedsy spotted and he is all smiles. but this fic isn't...
no one tried, to read my eyes—no one but you. wish it weren't true
the heavy hum of the air conditioner in his vancouver apartment was the only sound that had filled the room for the last three hours.
ever since the surgery on his shoulder—the brutal, season-altering injury from summer camp that had completely derailed his mind and body—connor had become a ghost of himself. the hyper-focused, confident boyfriend you knew had been replaced by someone who was drowning in a toxic mix of frustration and absolute self-pity.
his left arm was strapped securely into a dark medical sling against his chest, locking him into a state of physical helplessness that he despised more than anything in the world.
you walked out of the kitchen, wiping your hands on a dish towel. you had spent the last hour meticulously making the exact chicken and rice dish he liked, cutting the chicken into perfectly small pieces so he wouldn't have to struggle with a fork and knife. you set the warm plate on the coffee table in front of him, along with a fresh glass of water and the two white pain pills he was supposed to take at six o'clock.
"food's ready, con," you murmured softly, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, giving him the space he had been demanding all week. "you need to take those pills before the ache gets bad again tonight."
connor didn't look at the plate. he was staring at the blank tv screen, his jaw set so tightly the muscle near his ear was ticking frantically. his hair was messy, hanging into his eyes, and the dark circles underneath them made him look entirely hollowed out.
"i'm not hungry," he muttered, his voice completely flat.
"you haven't eaten anything since breakfast, baby. you need to eat to heal," you said gently, pushing the plate just an inch closer to him.
"i said i'm not hungry, y/n," he snapped, his voice suddenly rising and biting. he finally turned his head to look at you, his eyes entirely cold, completely guarded by the walls he had been building since the moment he woke up in the recovery room. "just leave it. stop hovering over me."
the silence that followed his outburst was deafening.
the sheer injustice of his words felt like a physical slap to the face. the exhaustion of the last three weeks—the sleepless nights, the alarms set at 3:00 am to rotate his ice packs, the absolute terror you felt watching him get wheeled into the operating room—all of it came rushing up your throat at once.
a hot, heavy tear spilled over your lashes, tracking quickly down your cheek. you didn't even try to wipe it away.
"are you kidding me?" you choked out, your voice trembling violently as you stared at him.
connor's face faltered for a second at the sight of your tears, the cold anger in his eyes flickering, but you didn't let him speak. you stood up from the couch, your hands shaking as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.
"you think i'm doing this out of pity?" you cried, your voice breaking on a sob as you looked down at him. "you think i'm cutting up your food and sleeping on the floor next to your bed so i don't accidentally bump your arm because i feel obligated?"
connor swallowed hard, his left hand slowly releasing its death grip on the cushion. "the word isn't obligation, y/n. i'm just saying—"
"no, shut up and look at me," you cried, pointing a shaking finger at him, the tears falling freely now. "how dare you. how dare you think so little of me, and of us, that you think i look at you like you're broken. you are the one pitying yourself, connor! i'm here because i love you. i'm here because when you hurt, i hurt. i cook for you because i want you to get strong again. i remind you about your pills because i can't stand seeing you in pain. and all i've done since the moment you got hurt is try to be whatever you needed me to be... and you're just sitting there punishing me for it because you're mad at the universe."
the anger completely drained out of connor's face, leaving behind nothing but absolute devastation. he looked at the plate of food you had carefully prepared for him, the pills set out perfectly on the napkin, and then up at your face, red and stained with tears.
you couldn't even look at him anymore. the suffocating walls of the apartment felt like they were closing in on you, trapping you in a room filled with his bitterness. before he could even gather the words to answer, you grabbed your keys and your phone off the kitchen counter.
"y/n, wait," connor called out, his voice instantly losing its sharp edge, dropping into a panicked register as he tried to shift his weight to stand up.
you didn't turn back. you slammed the front door behind you, the loud, echoing thud cutting off the sound of his voice as you walked down the hall and into the cool vancouver evening.
it was exactly midnight when the soft click of the front door unlocking broke the silence of the dark apartment.
the city outside had gone quiet, and the anger that had carried you out of the building hours ago had completely dissolved, leaving behind a deep, bone-weary exhaustion. you gently pushed the door open, slipping your shoes off at the entryway, intending to just crawl into the guest bed without making a sound.
but when you stepped into the living room, the amber light from the streetlights revealed a silhouette on the couch.
connor hadn't gone to bed. he was sitting straight up, his left hand loosely gripping the edge of the fabric, his head slumped slightly forward as he drifted in a light, uncomfortable sleep. the television was completely off, plunging the room into shadows. on the coffee table in front of him, the plate of chicken and rice sat entirely cold, but the napkin next to it was empty—he had taken the two white pain pills you left for him.
the slight creak of the floorboard made his eyes instantly snap open.
connor blinked heavily in the dim light, his gaze shifting around the room until his eyes landed right on you standing near the hallway. the terrifying relief that washed over his features made his shoulders visibly drop, his chest letting out a long, shuddering breath.
"you came back," he whispered, his voice rough and hoarse from hours of sitting in the dark alone.
you stayed where you were, your fingers tightening around your phone. "i live here too, connor. i just needed to breathe."
connor swallowed hard, his eyes tracking down to his lap. he looked small in the shadows, the heavy black medical sling strapped across his chest looking like a permanent weight pulling him down.
"i sat here the whole time," he murmured quietly, his left hand coming up to nervously rub the back of his neck, his hair messy and tangled from the long day. "i kept looking at the door. every time a car drove past the window, i thought it was you coming back to pack your things."
"is that what you think of me?" you asked, your voice incredibly soft, the anger replaced by a dull sadness as you took two slow steps closer to the couch. "you think the second things get hard, i'm just going to walk out on you?"
"no," connor choked out, his eyes snapping back up to yours, completely glossy and wide with fear in the dark. "no, baby, that's not it. i'm just... i'm so terrified that i'm turning into someone you can't love anymore. i look in the mirror and i don't even recognize the guy staring back at me. i can't skate. i can't train. i'm just a useless weight in this apartment, and i hated myself so much today that i forced you to hate me too."
hearing him admit it, hearing the raw vulnerability of your boyfriend who had the weight of the entire hockey world on his shoulders and felt like he was failing, completely broke the last of your resistance.
you walked over to the couch, slowly sinking down onto the cushion right next to his left side, leaving enough space so you wouldn't touch his bad shoulder.
"i don't hate you, connor," you whispered, looking at the profile of his jaw in the moonlight. "i could never hate you. but you hurt me today. you made me feel like all the care i've been putting into you was just a chore to me."
connor immediately shifted, turning his entire body toward you as much as his sling would allow. his left hand reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as his palm came to rest flat against your cheek, his thumb gently stroking the skin right under your eye where the tears had dried hours ago.
"i know," he breathed, a single tear finally escaping his own eye and cutting a path through the dark. "i'm an idiot. i looked at the plate after you left. i saw how small you cut the pieces so i wouldn't have to struggle. i sat here for four hours thinking about how i treated the only person who actually gives a damn about me when the cameras are off. i'm so sorry, baby. please don't let me push you away."
you closed your eyes, leaning your face into the warmth of his palm, the familiar scent of his soap finally making the knot in your chest unwind. "you have to stop fighting me, con. we're supposed to be a team."
"i'm on your team," he whispered, his forehead leaning down to gently rest against yours, his warm breath fanning across your lips as he held you close with his one good arm. "i promise. i'll eat the food tomorrow. i'll take the pills. just don't leave the apartment again."
a/n: i hope he feels better and heal sooner, he recently signed and i wish him well omfg evil eye for you connor. #divinely protection.
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whilst laying in bed, your boyfriend spots a hickey that he didn’t give you.
summary: will gives you a hickey that brad later on notices.
pairing: will smith x reader
warnings: kissing. fingering. reader gaslighting brad for once (everyone cheered!!) somebody suggested this and so many of you wanted it. reader lies like her life depends on it.
IT HAD BEEN JUST OVER A WEEK since you’d last saw will, well, since you’d last spent time with him - which was normal.
you’d go days without seeing him outside of class because he had practice, workouts, film sessions or whatever it was freshman hockey players filled their calendars with. you had cheer, assignments, brad, and the constant balancing act of pretending your life hadn’t become significantly more complicated over the span of a few weeks.
it wasn’t like you saw each other every day - you never usually did to begin with. you didn’t now disappear halfway through a lecture to make out in a supply cupboard, or have will skip hockey because you fancied company. things were still the same. you still encountered each other the same - you still saved him a seat, and he still pushed every one of your buttons before the lecture could even start.
but there were the nights when brad disappeared to a party with the football boys, or headed across town for poker, or decided he was ‘busy’, leaving you with an empty dorm room and absolutely no business thinking about a certain freshman.
you always texted the same thing: what you doing rn? or are you out?
casual, like you were only making conversation.
he’d reply with a range of different answers, sometimes with a photo of him and three of the guys crammed into a booth at some burger place:
with the guys.
at dinner rn.
just finished practice, why?
every time, you’d cave almost immediately:
nothing, don’t worry about it!
was just asking.
never mind! it’s okay.
then, without fail, your phone would buzz again, sometimes he called when you took too long to answer. “what?”
“nothing.” you’d blush even though he wasn’t around, but the thought of him taking the time to call you whilst out with his friends sent your heart leaping. you weren’t that important. it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“you don’t text me ‘you busy?’ for nothing.”
“no, i just . . .” you’d sigh, picking at the corner of your duvet. “it was just if you weren’t doing anything. i’m in my dorm by myself if you wanted to . . do anything.”
a pause, then—
“’kay.”
“’kay?”
“’yeah, i’m coming.”
“no, it’s fine! it was only if you were bored and not going anythi—”
“—oh trust me, i was bored.” you’d hear the movement on the phone, leaving to make his way over to your place.
he could’ve been halfway through dinner, watching a game, out with his teammates or even catching up on workload he desperately needed to do — it didn’t seem to matter.
within twenty minutes there’d be a knock at your door.
you were still getting used to kissing him - not in a bad way, but in the way that he could do it so. . . naturally. the way he’d lean over without making a big deal out of it, like kissing you had somehow become the most ordinary thing in the world.
it hadn’t become ordinary to you — not yet. it still caught you off guard.
your heart still tripped over itself every time his hand found your waist, and you still caught yourself thinking, i shouldn’t be doing this, but you never wanted him to stop; and you never regretted it either.
kissing will always gave you butterflies, always summoned a hunger you were unfamiliar with until that faint voice in the back of your head told you to calm down. whether it was the nerves or guilt, you couldn’t bring yourself to go further than the line you’d already crossed. he never rushed you, and he never pushed. the furthest either of you had gone was the night in the laundry room and that had only happened again once.
or twice.
three times?
he never complained nonetheless, never guilt-tripped or let out a huffy sigh — just gave that stupid, patient smile that somehow made saying no feel even harder and carried on with what you were happy with.
it was a friday night when you were bunched up together in your room, will entering your room with his hood up, water droplets from the rain sitting on top. you hadn’t seen him since last friday, with you missing the weekend to go back home for your mom’s birthday and him playing away games with his silly sidequests inbetween. he was the one who had texted you this time:
6’1 in skates
u home?
you
in dorm room, yeah
6’1 in skates
coming over
you
doors unlocked
6’1 in skates
well let’s change that! not very safe of you
you
will shut up
you tried to conceal your excitement to his arrival, tried not to sit so eagerly and smile so hard at the sight of him. you tried not to look so bashful - although he’d had that affect on you for a while.
the guy made you squirt all over a washing machine . . . it was safe to say he owned a large part of your dignity.
“hi.”
“hello gorgeous,” he smiled, shutting the door after him with the heel of his foot. “how are you, sweet stuff?”
“i’m ok,” you watch him make his way over to your bed where you sat up, back lost in pillows, blankets sprawled across the bed. “what’d you get up to today?”
“nothing much, been stuck with the guys. grabbed some lunch. squeezed in a haircut.”
you could tell. even with his hood up, you could see his shaved-in sides. “productive.”
he winks. “i know, right?”
“i got your mark for you.”
he pulls a face while stepping over your slippers, throwing himself on your mattress with a puff. “don’t wanna know.”
“it’s good,” you smile down at him, watching him pull his hood down.
and wow.
holy fresh cut.
he lays in front of you, leaning on an elbow, hand wrapped around a bottle of water that looks smaller than it is. “don’t care.”
you tilt your head. “you should.”
“i don’t wanna talk grades right now,” he grins, lifting a large hand to cup your waist with a familiarity to it that still catches you off guard.
heat immediately pools in your stomach. the feeling of his long fingers slowly caressing your side in a gentle stroke while he subtly pulls you a couple inches closer.
you can’t stop checking him out. really - he looks so good with the fresh cut, and there’s something about him in all black that makes your heart hum. “no?” you rest your arm over his shoulder, pretending to be far less affected than you are. “what do you wanna do?”
he looks up at you through his lashes, the corner of his mouth tugging into that stupid smile. “you tell me what you wanna do,” his teeth make an appearance as his fingers slide from your waist to your arm, wrapping loosely around your wrist where it rests against him. “or tell me what you want me to do.”
you feel your face warm immediately. “will.”
“what?” he snickers lightly, unable to stop himself from leaning in to kiss your cheek.
the room falls comfortably quiet, friends murmuring from the television in the background, neither of you paying the slightest bit of attention to it anymore.
will watches you for a second, amused.
your shyness never stops surprising him.
the first day he’d met you, he’d assumed confidence came as naturally to you as breathing. you’d been the girl everyone noticed, the one who always had something smart to say, never looked intimidated by anyone. you were older. popular. in a league of your own.
then he’d discovered this version. the one who ducked her head when she blushed, who smiled into her shoulder when he caught her off guard, who suddenly found the carpet fascinating whenever he flirted a little too confidently.
it was easily his favourite.
not because it meant he’d won something, but because it was a side of you hardly anybody else ever got to see.
and selfishly, he wanted to be the only reason it appeared every time. “so,” he rolls onto his back, shirt rising a little as he rests his arms behind his head, revealing that little bit of hair below his bellybutton that disappears into the waistband of his boxers. “how much did you miss me?”
you trail your eyes back just to roll them enough that they almost hurt. “i think i survived the week just fine without seeing you.”
“just fine?”
“mhm.”
“not even a little bit?”
“not even slightly.” you grin, looking down at him sprawled across your entire bed. he looks huge like this.
“liar. i heard you were crying everyday.”
that makes you laugh out loud. “ok.”
“you were even contemplating writing me a letter.”
“oh yeah? with my locket hanging around my neck with your picture in it?”
“like you were waiting for me to return from war.”
you laugh and hit his chest. “you keep going, your head isn’t gonna fit in this room.”
“no?”
“no. never mind your hockey helmet,” you reach to stroke his brow hairs in place without thinking.
he grins. “i’ll make it fit.”
you shake your head to yourself as he sits up, flopping his back into your mountain of pillows, and throws an arm around an empty space next to him with your name on it. “so, you gonna admit it?”
“admit what?”
“you missed me?”
“i didn’t.”
“liar.”
“i didn’t,” you insist, determined to see how long he’ll keep this going. the smile on your face refuses to cooperate though, betraying every ounce of fake annoyance as you finally shuffle over into the fortress of pillows beside him.
will grunts, his arm falling across your waist until his hand rests over your stomach. “that’s weird.”
“why?”
“’cause i missed you.”
the way he says it so bluntly makes your heart thump and cheeks bloom, even though he’s messing around, trying to cringe you out. “you’re a cornball.”
“just telling the truth,” he absentmindedly traces slow shapes against your side with the pads of his fingers, eyes still fixed on the tv. “you should try it sometime.”
“will,” you laugh, giving his shoulder a shove.
“what?”
“stop.”
he just raises his shoulder, paying you no attention until you admit it out loud.
you lean on him slightly, arm rested on his shoulder, scanning his side profile. he doesn’t even glance your way.
the fresh haircut really wasn’t helping. or how his jaw looked sharper. his stupid eyelashes somehow longer. it was irritating.
he doesn’t even acknowledge you staring.
“. . . you’re really committed to this.”
“very.”
“you’ve got nothing better to do?”
“nope.”
“no homework?”
“tomorrow.”
“hockey?”
“tomorrow.”
“your friends?”
“probably surviving without me.”
you sigh dramatically. “your ego genuinely needs its own dorm.”
“still avoiding the question.”
you let your head fall lightly against his shoulder. “ . . . you’re exhausting.”
“been called worse.”
another minute passes as his thumb keeps absentmindedly moving against your skin that’s exposed from your rising shirt - back and forth, back and forth - completely unaware he’s doing it.
you eventually give in, mostly because you know he isn’t going to. “fine,” you roll your eyes, hand laid flat on his chest.
he doesn’t even look at you. “fine what?”
“i—” god, he really is as big-headed since the day you met him. “—might’ve noticed you weren’t around.”
“that’s not what i asked.”
you let out a groan, hiding your face briefly against his shoulder. “fine! i missed you a little.”
“a little?”
you pinch his side.
he laughs. “not like, a medium amount?”
you pinch him harder.
“ow!” he pinches you back, and you jump. “OW!”
“admit it!”
“alright! i missed you too much.” you give in, laughing at his audacity to pinch you back. “happy?”
“gassed,” he continues his caressing of your side, focusing on the small area he’d nipped. he turns his head to look at you, something to it that makes your stomach feel strangely light. “. . ‘cause i did miss this pretty face” he says again, his hand coming up to grip your jaw and almost pucker your lips in its hold.
your heart thumps as he leans in, placing a soft kiss to them like it’s the most natural thing ever.
when he lets go, you cower into his shoulder, the softness of his hoodie stroking your cheek.
the tv chatters away in the background, neither of you following the episode anymore.
you’re tucked against his side, his arm still around your middle, your breathing gradually slowing to match his. it’s peaceful.
too peaceful.
will glances down after a minute, seeing the way your eyes are focused elsewhere from the tv, how your brows move like you’re in conversation with yourself. “you’re cookin’ up there,” his finger presses to your temple.
“mm. just thinking.”
“‘bout me?”
he takes your groan as victory and rubs your arm as if to let you know he’s just playing. then his brows furrow, “why are you so tense?”
you blink. “what?”
“your shoulders.” his hand gives your side a gentle squeeze. “they’re up by your ears.”
you hadn’t even realized. a small laugh escapes you. “oh, sorry.”
“don’t apologise, just . . ” he chuckles, “relax . . i locked the door.”
you snort. “no, will, it’s fine. i’m just—"
he looks at you; his eyebrows lift.
“i’m just . . nervous still.”
“about . . ?”
“you,” you say like it’s obvious. “being around you. you make me nervous,” you admit before you can overthink it any longer.
will’s brows drop. “in a bad way?”
“no! no, just,” you laugh. “it’s nothing. i’m just being stupid,” he comforts you with his soft touch, large palm still soothing you with gentle strokes. “just getting used to this still. i need to relax,” you nuzzle deeper into his chest, feeling his hand come up to places on the back of your neck, warming you at the same time shivers tingle down your spine.
will doesn’t understand what his presence does to you.
he doesn’t realize that most days, your automatic stance is to move with your shoulders braced before anyone’s even spoken to you. that somewhere along the way you’d become so used to watching people’s moods, choosing your words carefully, anticipating reactions before they happened, that it felt normal.
you hadn’t noticed you did it until you met him, because when you’re with him, your body keeps trying to do something it isn’t very good at anymore:
relax.
it happens in tiny pieces: your jaw unclenches, your breathing deepens, your mind stops running a hundred conversations ahead and it actually feels . . quiet up there.
it’s unfamiliar - which is unsettling.
like stepping onto solid ground after spending so long balancing on something that kept moving beneath your feet.
will brushes his thumb gently across your neck, drawing you out of your thoughts, “hey,” his voice is soft, “you don’t have to be nervous.”
“i know, i know. i need to chill out,” you agree, focusing on the soft touch of his hand.
will’s eyes linger on your face before he nudges it closer with his knuckle until his lips plant on your cheekbone. your eyes close dreamily, as he lifts another soft kiss on your cheek, and then further down to your jaw.
then you feel his lips part slightly as he kisses your jawline, and you hum, smiling at the weird buzz that rings up to your ears.
“will,” you breathe when your feel the wetness from his mouth on your neck. he continues to kiss, leaving a hot, open mouth trail along the skin until you feel the sudden nip from his graze of teeth. “will,” you repeat, sliding your hand to the back of his neck.
the lack of hair reminds you of his cut, as you slide you fingers deeper into the back of his head, tangling then into the short strands that had been chopped.
now, the only thing you can think about is his mouth.
will kisses up and down your neck slowly, soft smacks filling the air every so often before he nips you with his teeth. you don’t think much of it until you feel it — the sucking by your pulse point, the area that makes your mouth pop open and unleash an accidental moan.
you feel the grin on his lips, the way he goes in again, hungrier this time, tilting your head to give himself better access as he continues to assault the skin; kissing and sucking, nipping the odd time which makes your toes curl.
caught up in the act, you don’t even realize his hand has slipped down from your waist to your legs where he’s slid it in between your thighs.
caught up in the act, you don’t even realize the damage to your neck is done already by the time he’s rubbing you through your panties and sending you over the edge with yet another loud, lazy cry. “awh—will! i can’t, i can’t,” you wriggle against his chest as your hand latches around his thick wrist to stop it’s movement against your cunt. overstimulated and spent, your nails dig into his wrist to stop him.
breathing heavily as you come down from the high, the freshman kisses your neck some more. small, featherlight ones as your brain tries to clear the haze of fog around it, grounding you a little.
as always, he brings his fingers to your lips, but you refuse to so much as look at them, always turning your head away as he slips them into his own mouth, a deep chuckle echoing in his chest as you refuse to watch him commit to such crude acts. the burn on your cheeks is more intense than when he’s pumping them into you, and it only encourages him more and more to do it each time.
“mmm, tas—”
“stop it.” you hold onto the arm that’s got you in a slight headlock, keeping your eyes away from him sucking his fingers clean of your slick right next to you.
he finishes with another sweet kiss to your cheek, squeezing you tight in his arm before the night melts into one you always forget how to end. will never stays. you always drift fast. it’s always a deep sleep, and the next time you see him, he pretends he’s sucking something out of his finger then plays it off that he was chewing off a rag nail when you hit him for teasing you.
but it’s a saturday and you don’t see him. you don’t see him on sunday either, because you don’t see anybody over the weekend. you spend all of saturday catching up on all the different things you were supposed to do - clear out your wardrobe, change your bed, tidy your dorm, finish an assignment. saturday night blurs into sunday morning as you decide to carry on your lazy day into the next.
you go for a walk through the city, noticing the big drop in temperature as the colder months begin to approach. leaves begin falling off trees and you buy new hat on the way back for the chilling autumn season.
brad texts you whilst you’re out, telling you he’ll be over by 7:00 tonight. you reply, telling him that’s fine, asking how the weekend went, if you guys wanted to get food. he’d went home for his older cousin’s stag, one of the 16 invited. he’d seemed to have a good time, though he’d texted you more than you thought he would, checking in every so often like he felt bad for leaving you. it was strange. unusual.
the last you’d seen him was thursday night, when you’d helped him pack a small duffel bag and spent the rest of the evening in bed, laying next to him with a movie playing. his head was engrossed in his phone as he showed you all the different places he’d be going to over the weekend, and you nodded along, acknowledging each one. he kissed your cheek a couple times before he left, nose brushing your cheekbone as his lips hovered by your jaw.
“don’t have too much fun while i’m gone,” he sang, a playfulness in his tone.
“no promises,” you sang back, eyes locked on the movie.
it was a nice evening. chilled. relaxing.
well, whatever your bunched up shoulders classed as ‘relaxing’.
you tidied what little mess around your dorm again, lit a candle and got a shower before he came. it wasn’t long before you were tucked up in bed together, side by side, your cheek pressed to his bicep as he flicked through his camera roll to show you all the funny videos he’d captured.
they were funny, yet, all you could think about was why the fuck are my shoulders so tense?
“watch this babe,” he giggles, turning the phone to show you a clip of his cousin drunkly climbing a street sign, only for it to break and have him land on his ass.
you hummed a laugh.
brad locked his phone and threw it further down your bed, reaching his arm to come around over you, pulling you into him some more. “what’s wrong with you? you’re quiet.”
“just gettin’ tired,” you snuggle deeper into his chest, eyes still on the tv. “glad you’re back though.”
“yeah? y’miss me?” he kisses your temple.
“mhm.”
“what’d you get up to?”
“nothing,” you shrugged, feeling his hand move down to your hip. “literally nothing. just lazed about whole weekend, did some work. cleaned.”
“didn’t go out with tash?”
“no. she went out with some of her other friends,” you sat up suddenly, hunting for the remote to press play on the next episode of desperate housewives. “couldn’t be bothered going out this weekend.”
he doesn’t respond. instead, you lay back down, back against the pillows as the next episode loads.
“. . . what is that on your neck?”
you don’t react straight away. his words don’t even hit you, you’re too busy soaking up his body warmth, getting cozy when he moves until you get off of him. that’s when you sit up, looking at him confused as his irritated gaze seems directed at you. “what?”
“i said what is that on your neck,” he suddenly snaps, hooking his finger in your pajama top to pull it away from your skin.
your eyes squint in confusion, your hand reaching for your phone to check out whatever the heck it is he’s freaking out over in the camera.
that’s when you see it - the dirty old mark by the base of your throat.
a hickey.
you freeze.
holy fuck.
your life quickly flashes before your eyes, the realization dawning on you as your body goes still, your mouth still open.
oh . . . god.
it feels like time slows as you quickly calculate how to navigate this situation, your stomach twisting with nerves.
fuck.
what you’re about to do is so incredibly evil . . you know it’s wrong but you don’t care. what else are you supposed to do? tell him the truth?
you glance at him, mouth still agape and quickly recover, “are you kidding me?!” you throw the phone on your bed with effortless care. “you scared me, brad! i thought it was a spider or something!”
“what the fuck are you talking about?”
“what?” you play dumb.
“what?” he repeats. “what do you mean, ‘what?’ y/n, fucking answer me,” he throws his bottle of water across your room, it knocks over your tidy row of files.
you blink at him like he’s lost it. “what the fuck are you freaking out for?!”
“what am i freaking out for?! who the hell gave you that?” he storms over, standing with his arm out toward your neck like the evidence is so obvious he can’t believe you’re making him explain it.
“are you— wait, are you serious right now?” you let a smile slip through. “or are you—are you trying to be funny?”
he gives you a look like you’re insane. like he’s wondering why the hell you aren’t crumbling right now, shaking like a leaf beneath him. “am i being funny?”
“wait, are you being for real?” you stare at him in shock.
his eyebrows shoot up. “y/n what the FUCK are you talking about right now?” he grabs you by your neck. “start talking!”
“you did that?” you immediately push him off, scoffing up at him. “what the hell do you mean?”
“like hell i did.”
you laugh in fake disbelief, climbing back onto the bed like he’s being ridiculous. “are you seriously arguing with me right now? like serious? ‘cause i’ll actually lose it.” you shoot him a warning look.
“yes because i didn’t do that!” he shouts again.
“yes, you did.”
“when?”
“thursday fucking night!” you lie.
“thursday?”
“you were kissing all over my face,” you raise your voice, arm held out to him.
“yeah, and?”
“and you did it?!” you say like there’s no other explanation needed.
“y/n—” he starts smiling, like he’s about to actually lose his shit.
you knuckle down. “i am NOT laughing brad! you’re fucking pissing me off!” you throw the blanket off you.
“you’re pissed off?!”
“YES! ‘cause what the fuck are you saying right now?! you’re initiating i what? i let someone else give me a hickey?!”
“well i sure as hell didn’t!”
“yes. you. did!” you smack the back of your hand to your palm.
he stares at you.
you stare at him. “i can’t believe this right now. i honestly don’t.” you pull the duvet higher, trying desperately to make yourself look bored rather than terrified.
“y/n,” his eyes narrow. “i did not give you that.”
“why are you acting like i’m accusing you of something bad?”
“because you’re telling me i did something i didn’t do.”
“okay, so i just woke up with it?”
“god knows i didn’t wake up giving you it.”
“so you forgot?”
“i don’t fucking forget shit like that.”
“apparently you do.”
he stares at you.
you hold his gaze, even though your pulse is beating so hard you can feel it beneath the mark. “you really don’t remember?”
“NO! ‘cause it didn’t. happen.”
“brad!” you whine. “co—”
“don’t.”
you stop.
for half a second, neither of you says anything.
then you scoff, shake your head and let out a sigh. “fine. whatever,” you turn, reaching for your phone. “if you don’t remember, you don’t remember.”
that somehow seems to bother him more. “no. no don’t do that.”
your heart is beating out of your chest.
you glance over your shoulder. “do what?”
“act like i’m stupid.”
“i didn’t say you were stupid.”
“you’re making me out to be.”
“i’m telling you what happened.”
“no, you’re not,” his voice is bitter now, like his temper is really about to break.
you sit up again. “then what do you want me to say?”
“i want you to tell me who did it!”
“i just did.”
“and i’m telling you it wasn’t me!” he slams his fist into your desk.
“then who the fuck was it?!” you look around the room. “tell me! you tell me.”
he scowls, his jaw set. it feels like you’re swimming with sharks with an open wound here. “it wasn’t fuckin’ me, that’s for sure.”
“okay,” you lie back down. “fine.”
“fine?”
“yeah,” you throw your hands up. “you don’t remember. i don’t know what you want from me.”
“i want you to stop fucking lying to me.”
“oh, and there it is. just because you don’t remember something it makes me a liar. ok.” you smile sarcastically.
“you ARE a fucking liar!”
you stare at him for a second, stunned enough that your mouth actually falls open.
then, your expression crumples into something wounded. “okay, brad,” you sound defeated. “yeah, you’re right. i’m sorry. i lied. someone else gave me it. i let someone else suck on my neck while you were gone,” you hear how ridiculous it sounds the second the words leave your mouth. so does he. “there. is that what you want to hear?”
“what i’m hearing is bullshit.”
“so because you don’t remember, that makes me a liar? a—a cheater?! that’s what you’re getting at here?” you perk up again, ready for another round.
“yeah. i fuckin’ am!”
“that is SO fucking unfair brad! you know you were here on thursday night, you know you were kissing down my face and neck, you literally can’t deny that,” your brows pinched together as sadness takes over your features. “we were sitting like this in your bed and you were all over me! you know you were!” you pat the bed frustratingly.
god, you deserve an oscar for this.
“yes, but i wasn’t sucking on your neck?”
you pinch the bridge of your nose with your eyes open. “oh. my. jesus. christ.”
“so what?! so you’re dying on this hill? you think i did it?”
“think?” you quickly snap your head to him. “i don’t think you did it, i know you did it because i was pRESENT IN THE FUCKING MOMENT YOU DID IT?!!!” you scream.
brad blinks.
woah.
you need to chill out.
you’re starting to belive your own lies.
for the first time, he doesn’t immediately have an answer.
the thought slips in before he can stop it: did i?
you catch the hesitation and immediately pounce. “honestly! who else was it supposed to be?”
“i—i don’t know, y/n but i—”
“who! tell me! seeing you’re so adamant, there’s gotta be someone in mind?” you demand. “huh? will—is it will?”
his face hardens instantly. “don’t bring him into this.”
“it is, that’s who you were gonna say,” you sit angrily on the bed. “honestly, i’m so over this. you’re — you know what? just go brad.”
“what?!”
“i’m done. you’ve just ruined the whole night and put me in the worst mood over nothing. honestly - when did you get so insecure all of a sudden?” you throw yourself back under the sheets.
“in—insecure?”
“yes!”
“i am not ins—”
“—you called me a liar and accused me of cheating because you saw a bruise on my neck! accused me of cheating because you don’t remember something you did!” you gesture toward it.
his eye twitches.
you point toward the door. “honestly, go home. i’m done talking to you.”
“y/n—”
“no. i’m done talking about this, you’ve seriously hurt me,” you grab your phone, already looking away from him. “i think if somebody else gave me a hickey, i’d be smart enough to cover it,” you snap, watching him head for the door.
he looks back at you, at your neck and the faded purple-y, green-yellow mark, and stands there for another second, looking genuinely conflicted.
you refuse to look at him, keeping your irritable look on your face as you scroll through your insta feed, waiting to hear the safe sound of your door click shut.
“whatever,” he mutters. “we’ll talk tomorrow.”
“we won’t.”
he looks at you, but you keep busy with your phone screen, “because no matter what i say, i’ll be accused of a liar, so.”
“babe—”
“don’t ‘babe’ me!”
“i’m just trying to work out what happened!”
“there’s nothing to work out when i’m telling you what happened! now get out brad!”
“but i—”
“OUT.”
he slams the door after him.
you don’t move.
for several seconds, you just lie there staring at the ceiling, listening to the thudding of your heartbeat.
silent.
motionless.
then—
you exhale.
a huge, shaky breath that feels like you’ve been holding it for ten straight minutes. “holy shit.”
you cover your face with both hands. your heart is pounding.
you’d just spent the last ten minutes gaslighting a completely sober man into believing he’d done something he absolutely had not done, and somehow — he’d left wondering if he had.
you slowly lower your hands.
the room is quiet again.
you’re alive.
you’re not caught.
and only now, with the door safely closed behind him, does it hit you just how close you came to being completely screwed.
note: super short but just wanted to put something out for you all <3
will knew you better than anyone, he was confident in that. so that’s how he knew something was wrong before you even showed up.
your texts had been off all week, shorter and dry as each day passed. at first he thought you were busy but then he began picking up on the small things you always added that weren’t there anymore like the random emojis and the extra ‘i miss yous’ and the way you would ramble about your day.
he didn’t push too hard but just checked in to let you know he was there but it sat heavy in his chest anyway because he knew something was up.
so when you said you were still coming over for your movie night, he was surprised — will was convinced you would’ve canceled but he was glad you didn’t because if he knew one thing about you, you couldn’t keep anything from him for that long. sooner or later he would know what’s wrong.
-
by the time you got to his place, you were exhausted to the brim. work had drained you both physically and mentally. your head was pounding and everything from the past week felt like it was pressing down on your chest all at once but you didn’t want to cancel. you didn’t want will worrying more than he already probably was.
so instead, you put on your best ‘im fine’ face before knocking and as if will was waiting, the door swung open.
“hey.” he says softly, his eyes were locked on you scanning and reading everything you were trying to hide.
you forced a small smile. “hi.”
will steps aside to let you in, but his hand brushed your arm as you passed, lingering for just a bit longer than usual.
“long day?”
“mmm yeah. just work stuff,” you shrug, kicking off your shoes like it was nothing.
will hums, unconvinced but doesn’t push at least not yet. instead, he nods toward the hallway. “y’wanna freshen up? shower maybe?”
you pause, he always remembered that. how showers helped you reset after bad days, the warmth made everything feel just a little quieter.
you nod, “yeah, yeah that actually sounds nice.”
“go ahead.” will murmurs, already turning towards his room. “i’ll grab you something comfy to throw on.”
the shower helped, at least a little bit. the hot water eased some of the tension in your shoulders, gave you a few minutes where you didn’t have to think but the second you turned it off, everything came rushing back.
you stared at yourself in the mirror for a second, eyes glassy, chest too heavy for your liking. you huff, taking a deep breath trying to settle your nerves.
by the time you stepped out, dressed in one of will’s oversized team hoodies and a pair of your shorts, you had your mask back on.
or at least, you thought you did.
will was laying on his bed when you walk in, scrolling on his phone, one arm tucked behind his head. he looked comfortable and cozy and you wanted nothing more than just to lay beside him as he held you in his arms.
his eyes flicked up the second he heard you, and just like that, his phone was forgotten.
“hey bubs.”
you don’t say anything. you just walk over and without second thought, climb onto the bed and flop down on top of him, burying your face into his chest.
it knocks the breath out of will for just a second — not because of the impact, but because of what it meant. his arms wrap around you tightly without hesitation.
“hey, hey.” he whispers, one hand coming up to run his fingers through your hair. “what’s going on?”
“nothing,” you mumble into his hoodie, your voice muffled.
he exhales slowly, shaking his head. “alright, but it doesn’t feel like nothing.”
you shook your head against him, tightening your grip on his hoodie. “i’m okay. i just— i missed you.”
it wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either.
wills hand continues to run through your hair and down your back. “you don’t have to be all tough with me, you know that, right?”
you don’t answer, you just press your body closer against his. for a bit , it was quiet. just his heartbeat under your ear and then he feels it.
“hey, you’re shaking.”
“m’not”
will shifts slightly beneath you. “baby.”
you squeeze your eyes shut at his tone. he knew something was up now, there’s no hiding it from him.
“don’t— please don’t—”
your voice cracks and that was it. that’s all will needed to hear to know you weren’t okay. that he wasn’t in his head about you not being okay.
“baby, look at me.” will murmurs, one hand sliding from your back to your jaw trying to guide your face up. you resist right away, pressing your face harder into his chest.
“no. no, i’m fine.”
“you’re not fine, and that’s okay. just— just lemme see you.”
“i don’t want you to,”
his thumb brushes along your jaw. “and why not?”
“because i’ll cry.”
“then cry baby, you don’t have to hide that from me.”
you don’t move, you keep your face buried against his chest and will is convinced that you’ll keep the ‘i’m fine’ act up but then your shoulders shake again harder this time.
his fingers reach down as he tilts your chin up and you let him this time and that was all it took. the moment your eyes locked with his worried blue ones you broke. a sob caught in your throat and suddenly the tears were falling.
“hey— hey, it’s okay. you’re okay.” will comforts, sitting up a little so he could pull you fully into his arms. “i’ve got you now, i got you.”
you buried your face in his shoulder this time, crying properly now. everything you’ve been holding in all week finally pouring out.
“i’m sorry,” you choked. “i didn’t wanna— i didn’t want to ruin tonight.”
“you didn’t ruin anything,” will says firmly, pulling you closer pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “not even a little bit.“
“you being here, that’s all i care about, okay?”
you sniffle, clutching onto him like he was the only thing keeping you steady.
“it’s just been a lot, everything at once and i just— i didn’t wanna worry you more and—”
“-hey,” he cut in gently, pulling back just enough to look at you again, wiping under your eyes with his thumb. “you don’t have to protect me from you.”
“i want to know when you’re not okay. i want you to come here and fall apart if you need to. that’s not a burden, alright? that’s me getting to be here for you.”
“i just don’t want you to see me like this,” you mumble, looking down at your hands. will shakes his head, a small almost disbelieving smile tugging at his lips.
“i wanna be there for you, whether you like it or not.”
“even when i look like a mess?”
“you’re a pretty crier if that makes you feel better.”
you let out a watery laugh, lightly smacking his shoulder causing him to grin up at you.his hand came up to cup your cheek, leaning down to press a kiss against your lips.
“you don’t have to be okay all the time. not with me.”
you lean into his touch, placing a kiss against his palm.
“just stay?”
will smiles down at you, “always,”
he pulls you back down against him, one arm wrapped tight around your shoulders, the other tracing slow, soothing patterns along your back. your breathing was still uneven, little hiccups of tears breaking through.
“you can tell me about it later,” he murmurs into your hair. “or not at all. we can just lay here.”
you nod against him, sighing before pressing your face against his neck. “i love you.”
“i love you too angel, anything else y’need?”
“just— hold me for a bit please?”
will tightens his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.
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sorry for ghosting omg but the brain juices are flowing again so expect another post in the next few days love ya ALSO i see the requests for the other boys not ignoring just hard to keep up sometimes don't hate me!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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