mine.

[ Was she really that easy to read? Her eyebrows creep upwards as she stands- stock still- eyes closed. She pinches the bridge of her nose, rubbing at the developing ache there; when she turns to Carmine, there’s no hostile intent in her expression, but… For all that she doesn’t grow older, she looks every bit her age in that instant. She looks tired. 

Even the true little monster in his ribcage did not look monstrous, or evil. Or dangerous, even. It was barely larger than a Froggit, as far as she could see. She met its look with her own, and coldness welled in her chest. How incongruous appearances could be.]

* … Hate? Carmine, I- 

* I am worried- no- Terrified! For you! * Reserving all talk of means and motivation, this is- I want to spend time with you! Talk, and take naps, play games- a hundred-thousand, inconsequential, stupid little things! Not have to worry about the wellfare of .. of hypotheticals-  over your continued existence.

* How much do you think you are worth to me? Because I can guarantee that that value is much higher than you think it is!

[ She gestures with one paw- frustrated.]

* Would you want to see your best friend under constant threat? -Be- a-

.. 

[ Her fingers curl inward- the realization that she’s been steadily growing louder hits her. Her voice drops, low, but perfectly clear.]

* Ha. Haha. You’ve heard this sort of thing a hundred times over by now, by people who’ve spent far more time with you. I doubt you need to hear it all again.  * I am still- still- your friend, whether you like it or not! If… you think I have it in me to say “get out, and never come back?” .. Even after all of this? You will have to live with disappointment! I cannot do it! 

*..  Ha. I-.

*  I just do not want to see you get killed. 

[Whoops, that does it. Her voice cracks.]

[✱ By the point Toriel’s voice drops again, he’s emotionally and physically crumpled even further -- he’s flinching, limbs curled in tightly to his torso. Extremely apprehensive. But when she finishes, he can’t help but look up at her again and sort of.. gently butt his head against her. It’s all he can manage, response-wise, for a good moment or two.]

* ... i think you’re the only one.

[✱ A short, bark-like laugh. Forced.]

* the first time it happened.. i hadn’t even so much as thought about killing anyone yet. but.. everyone yelled at me. i was threatened. i was hunted. by friends, by lovers.

* .....

[She has to suppress a shudder at that. Little buddy. The horror of the situation found her in waves; she’d grasp a little of it, and then find that awareness slipping away. Picking targets- as if that made it better! A leech on one’s soul-. Requiring one to commit atrocities! But…what could anyone do? Fear- anger-. Pity. Sorrow. And still, that desire to have any sort of companionship- at all- .. at all. All this, in a version of the dearest friend she’d made and somehow managed to keep.

-

Rea can’t bring herself to fake a smile- even a comforting one- but she does toss her floppy ears back, clearing her throat to get rid of the clutching sensation creeping up it. She grunts, getting to her feet- letting her captive sleeve hang within reach. Can’t stay like this.]

* If you can still enjoy normal food, I suggest we tear ourselves away to go get some. 

* Otherwise. Ha. We would do well to- to rest.

* ..You look exhausted. I cannot imagine how it must have hurt to explain.. This.

[✱ He only clings to that sleeve a little longer, until he catches sight of her face again and promptly lets go. The grip of self-hatred was squeezing around him again. He shouldn’t have said anything. He shouldn’t have contacted her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He hugs his arms around himself, claws digging into the sleeves of his varsity jacket.]

* ... if.. you want to. i’d understand if you.. if you hate me. i’m disgusting.

* i did a lot of.. lot of fucked up shit. i can’t be forgiven. i don’t expect to be.

[ He gets just enough of a glance to see a big gross runny nose and equally runny eyes. Very elegant. Snuffle. Ah. She sits up, squinting blearily. Eventually she sighs, shifting position on the ground. Her legs are going numb, and the prickling is uncomfortable.] 

* Ha. We have both looked better.

We’ve both been better. That part goes unsaid.

[✱ Just touching at that arm, still, claws kneading against her robe slightly. Trying to keep himself calm. He rubs at his face with his free hand, sighing shakily as he gathers his composure.]

* ... y.. yeah. ... .. sorry..

* if.. if it helps at all, i.. i haven’t gone after a single kid. or obvious parents.

[ Don’t cry. Do not cry. Do not- . Ri squeezes her eyes shut. Stings. Honor be damned. She hugs him close, one paw rubbing his back as he talks. No words are spoken in return, not for a long time. Just soft snuffles and a refusal to leave well enough alone. 

How horrible things must have gotten. Were you really so desperate-? …. Did you feel so alone? Questions with no answer, based on half guesses and mumbled words.

She stays, answering Carmine with murmurs of her own. Still here.]

[Toriel moved forward, within ten feet. Five. If there was an opportunity to run, it had long passed. She knelt beside him, head downcast. Her brow knits together, from- what. Anger? Worry? The rest of her face is hidden by shadow.]

* I hope you can forgive me for this. 

[ It happens in the blink of an eye. Carmine finds himself pulled forward- into something unexpected.]

* I don’t think I can bring myself to hate you.

[✱ He chitters and squeaks in fear the moment he’s touched, the feeling fading into confusion, then.. remorse. He clings to her, tiny claws digging into the fabric of her robe as he starts to bawl into her shoulder. Fat anime tears and all. Just a flood of emotion that he’d kept bottled for probably way too long.

[She very nearly loses him, but the telltale skid of a body hitting gravel signals the end. An extra burst of speed closes the distance between them. She comes to a stop just a few paces away; her hard, measured breaths and the crunch of gravel the only sounds in the deafeningly quiet park. It’s easy to forget, with her usual demeanor, how tall Toriel actually is. But now? She towers over the smaller monster, fists clenched by her sides.]

She takes a step forward.

And another.

* CARMINE!

[ This isn’t- she’s moving before she can even think properly about it, dashing after the fleeing monster. What is she doing?? There’s no telling what he- this is a chance to escape, she could just go, she could leave, this is dangerous- . .]

* Carmine wait! 

[Stop. Thinking. Just try to keep him in sight.]

[ Still staring. She starts to reach out, but catches herself, arm halfway extended between them. Her voice comes out as a whisper. She sounds heartbroken.]

* What- . . happened to you?

[✱ And that’s what breaks him right then and there. He didn’t want this.

[ Her stare is searching; even after he looks away, he can still feel it on him. Eventually, he hears the soft puff of a held breath being released. A familiar pulse of magic lights Toriel’s eyes from within. Just enough for the pupils to glow, like the embers of a candlewick. That same magic creeps outward, prickling on the edge of Carmine’s senses. Tendrils brush over the fabric of his jacket, the bone of his skull- and as if struck, recoil, vanishing. Tori’s paws flinch in his grasp.]

*  Hs- !

[✱ Her reaction alone solidifies his anxiety. He releases her paw and shrinks away from her, a distinct chittering sound heard as he ducks his head. This is definitely not the skeleton she’d left behind, and obviously had gone down the worst possible path in her absence.

* I am learning that .. A lot of what I know is not as black and white as I would like it to be. It may be easier to think that way, but.

* It isn’t the truth of the matter.

[✱ Still keeping his gaze, Toriel tugs him forward, taking slow steps out of the glare of the lanterns. She squeezes his hand as she does so, insistent. One step at a time into a comforting darkness.]

* … I don’t know how I will feel. * I would need a chance before either of us could find out.

(”Can you trust me with this?”) Unspoken. Or whispered so quietly it might as well have been.

[✱ His little claws gently poke into her paw as she squeezes his hand. It isn’t until they’ve been in that darkness a while -- in silence -- that he gazes up at her, little eyelights shaky and unfocused even as he breaks that momentary eye contact and glances aside.

Finally, in a tiny voice, he speaks.]

* ..We could just take a walk.

[✱ She perks up, giving her short friend a watery smile. She squeezes his hand right back.]

* Anywhere is fine! I do know a quiet little park nearby with the most lovely crystals, though. No one ever goes there. A shame. ..   .. small pause.

* Carmine? 

* If you truly want to go- please do not feel as if I am forcing you into spending time with me.

* You are my friend. You and Carmen both. And.. * I will still be your friend, even if we only talk about food, and jokes, and the weather. 

* I may not know you as well as your other half, and perhaps I am talking out of my rear end, just a little, but.. 

* I hope you know that.

[✱ He looks up at her in silence for a long while, hands petting over Toriel’s handpaw as softly as possible. He’s pensive, or perhaps still just nervous, glancing around a bit before looking up to her face.]

* ... yeah. i know.

* and i.. i wanna tell you about everything, m’just... i’m scared. it’s a scary thing to be doing, to tell people about.

* - 

[✱ That laugh- another little difference. Toriel didn’t know what she expected. Exposition? That would border on cruel, and she knew it. She wasn’t even involved in whatever had happened to him. She had no idea what could possibly make him so hesitant- She’d been gone. That’s it. One vagary of time and .. that was it. After- how long had it been in the other lines? What had she missed- again? Her muzzle pursed unhappily; it took a moment before she could unscrew it into a more neutral expression, though her eyebrows stayed together, two crinkled lines of worry. The last thing she wanted was to part ways already. Not so soon.]

* I- Look at this. Together for twenty minutes and already about to cut and run. * Why do- .. Why do we do this sort of thing?

* I did not mean that, Carmine. I was just- .

[✱ Her shoulders deflated, back curving under an unseen weight. Tori’s voice was quiet, when she did speak.]

* I just wanted so badly to- ..  catch up. 

* You are the last person I should be so curt with. 

* … Please don’t go.

[not an order. just a request.]

[✱ He goes oddly still, a frown growing over his features as Toriel speaks. He was being a coward, if nothing else, wanting to disappear long enough so that he wouldn’t have to explain his awful life choices. But that wasn’t fair to her, by any means, was it..?

Slowly, he reaches out and takes one of her (much larger) handpaws, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. His bones still give off a pleasant warmth.]

* ... alright, alright..

* Mhm. It is terribly convenient.

…

[✱ Her gaze catches on the small skeleton’s posture- his expression. Some things don’t change. Well, they haven’t yet, at least. Whatever was gnawing his bones was a sensitive subject. She had to bite back a twinge of disappointment, all the same. Where better to talk than somewhere it wouldn’t matter?]

* Would you prefer dispersing secrets à la classique, through a stone door?

Toriel blinked, paused; surprised by how sharp her own words sounded.

* - . Um. Er- what I meant- .

* I ah- What was the question again? Ha ha. My plans?

She tugged on one of her ears, glancing away.

* Well. Go back, of course. To the castle. Stop them, etcetera etcetera.  * Ask questions, if I can get answers out of anyone.

[✱ He just fidgets more, the memories of speaking to his own Toriel through the Ruins door bubbling up into view in his mind. He never even spoke to his own Tori anymore.. and neither did Carmen, for that matter, but.]

* oh. chtchtcheheh.

[✱ An odd little chittering sound preceded his laugh.. he’s visibly nervous at this point, glancing around warily.]