It’s Britney bitch

Okay, so: I have this weird head canon where all the versions of Joker are so nuts they can actually talk to each other, regardless of what world/universe they’re in, via mirrors—meaning they sometimes see each other instead of their own reflections. What this means is: they can actually have whole conversations with themselves each other in, say, their make-up mirror or the glass wall of their cell in Arkham for, literally, any reason. As a result: sod like this happens.

Partly inspired by this beautiful photo set drawn by the epic @doctorhojo; go see and love it all!

Arkham Origins Joker: I think the BatJokes fanbase is getting out of hand.

90’s Animated Joker: Whaaaaat? I thought you LIKED that?

Arkham Origins Joker: I DID. [pouts] Right up until they made a fizzing KISS BUTTON.

Jared Leto Joker: Uuuuuh, what??

90’s Animated Joker: KISS BUTTON?!

Heath Ledger Joker: [wants to say something but is actually being beaten up by BaleBat and only privy to this because he can see it happening in the windows of their “interrogation” room] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

90’s Animated Joker: What the Happy do you mean: Kiss Button?!

Arkham Origins Joker: [looking snippy and scared] I mean a literal kiss button!

[All other Jokers present, including Heath Ledger’s, look at the Arkham Origins Joker incredulously; he shrinks]

Lego Movie Joker: … [sighs and rests his claw-hand against the full-length (non-funhouse) mirror of his room (in the hideout of his world); for the moment, he seems rather motherly] Lethal, sweetie, breathe.

[Arkham Origins Joker—Lethal, as he’s been nicknamed due to a copyright issue in his ‘verse that ironically renames two very popular fighting games as Lethal Combat and Mortal League—breathes deep]

Lego Movie Joker: Good, good. Now: from the top; go.

Arkham Origins Joker: [nods and swallows nervously] Okay, so… [fidgets] [flails] [frustrated] I was with Batman—my Batman—and we were arguing. Everything was normal! NORMAL!

[90’s Animated Joker casually—very casually, mind—taps the surface of his vanity’s mirror (in his hideout in his own world) to prevent Lethal from spiraling into a loop: game-verse Jokers are prone to that as games can be glitchy]

Arkahm Origins Joker: (Thanks.) Right up until the Bat flings me into a wall (and drama that was so hot) and I wang my head.

[Everyone winces]

Arkham Origins Joker: Yea. So, like, my reality breaks and I’m suddenly seeing all of the dramatic dialogue things again and—and… [looks conflicted; struggles for proper wording; deflates; sighs; is dejected] … I saw one… It said Kiss the Bat and Win the Game.

[Silence]

Lego Movie Joker: … [worried; softly] What happened?

Arkham Origins Joker: … I tried to press it. [suddenly looks frustrated, angry, and hurt] I tried to press it and it didn’t work! I wasn’t close enough— [grabbing his hair] At least, that’s what I thought— [tearing up] So I— … I tried… to shoot it. [collapses in his cell and refuses to look up into the disappointed, disgusted, and disapproving faces of his other selves in his cell’s window-wall; dejected]

Heath Ledger Joker: [calmly, gently, almost motherly] And then what happened? [ignores BaleBat looking at him incredulously; smiles insanely to keep him quiet]

Arkham Origins Joker: … I shot the man behind the Bat.

[a unified gasp of sympathetic horror permeates the room er mirrors no worlds?; they all know Lethal’s Bat didn’t take kindly to that (as theirs wouldn’t either)]

90’s Animated Joker: [awkward but sincere] I… I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean anything by that…

Arkham Origins Joker: [laughs brokenly] And then I shot the second guy—also behind him. [hears the ringing of the other Jokers’ silence through the glass wall and hiccups so he doesn’t sob] I kept trying. I saw my bullets going through the dramatic thing but I KEPT TRYING. [sniffles] I just wanted to kiss him…

Tell Tale Joker: … That happened to me… [blushes as Lethal looks up, hopeful] N-not with Batman! N-no… Wi-with Bruce-ie… [blushes harder] I was… I was just so happy. I was with him, riding an adrenaline high, and I just… I told him I thought I was in love… [shrinks into a dried tomato under the other Jokers’ stares] … He… [covers his face] He asked if it was HIM that I was… A-and I—I WANTED to say yes! I did! I wanted—still want—to be honest with him! But… [looks at the ground] I got scared… I looked for the dialogue options—tried to find the best way to-to… [sighs] I-I couldn’t. I couldn’t see ANYTHING. There were no leads, no hints, no… anything. I tried to hack my own fizzing game—for a yes, a kiss, a HUG; anything! [dejected] But… there was nothing.

[Silence]

Jared Leto Joker: … [licks the top row of his metaled teeth—his nervous twitch] What happened?

Tell Tale Joker: [jolts having almost forgotten they were there] O-o! Uh… [chuckles sheepishly] I uh… lied… Told him no, it wasn’t him; that I just… wanted to be friends… [tearful] I’m such chicken feed, guys!

Arkham Origins Joker: Me too! [sniffles and sobs once] I break the rules—we all fizzing do!—all the time! I’ve never needed a BUTTON to go off script before! But—this one time! Just because it was THERE! Just because it was PROOF! The Fans WANTED It! [crying now; ignores the guard that’s laughing at him; curls into himself; hurting] I just wanted to kiss you, Batsy…

[They all, suddenly not for the first time, wish they could hug each other—or, at the very least, comfort the versions of themselves that are crying in some way.]

This ended up WAY more depressing than I originally intended; but, I think, that’s a fair reflection of them: I honestly think that, when people aren’t looking, Joker’s a lot sadder than he lets on. This might just be because it’s December and Christmas is coming up, tho: I always thought that, although All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey is commonly seen as the BatJokes Christmas song of choice, Last Christmas by Wham! would be more fitting for them; this is mainly because Batman is always breaking Joker’s heart, tossing it to Arkham or Harley Quinn, and [just—ugh!] always making a fool out of him; and, no matter how many times this happens, Joker keeps gifting his heart back to his Bat to be broken again and again; and, once you add Bruce Wayne… well, he’d be the someone special, I think, because he isn’t actually a playboy, is actually very kind and caring, and isn’t bound by the stigma of vigilante/villain like Batman. He IS still Batman, though, so… I don’t know. Maybe I just want to see/read Batman finally breaking Joker down one Christmas and Bruce Wayne swinging by Arkham to pick up the pieces.  (♦´. ‸ .`)

I’m also reblogging this because I realize, now, that this headcanon was posted and explained so long ago (December of 2017) that a lot of new followers don’t know it and probably don’t understand why I tag things as Joking Mirrors. xD

So this reblog is for all of you!

I just really wanted to put John in one of those “If lost return to Rita’’ T-shirts (snug jeans as a bonus)~

*but then got carried away drawing background and decided to make two versions and then it started to look sad, like he was standing there alone all that time, so now there’s a shadow to keep him company~

+ gift for Bruce