vents a lot

I'm going to plan my suicide now nbd

I want to die.

The first time I ever fell in love with a boy and he pretended to love me back. I did things that’d I never do, I said things I never say. I made plans to live with him cos I loved and trusted him soo much. He told me after a while he never felt the same. After everything I did I was going to open up to you even more. My heart is so broken. It hurts soo much and I hate myself. I really want to die. I still love him I’m so pathetic. I never want to date ever again. I never want to like or love someone ever again. I made myself so vulnerable. I can’t stop crying.

Today I felt like I kept messing up, like nothing was going right and like I wasn't good enough. It fucking hurts and now I'm throwing a tantrum. Which makes me feel worse. Like I'm a fucking baby

Excuse me while I claw my face in apologizing even though you're the one who fucked me over

Why should I live for others? Why should I prolong this pain because I make you happy? I hate living it hurts so much but we'll you like my company (sometimes) so I should definitely live for those (5 minute) conversations. Also fuck why do you make people feel bad for wanting to die?

Why don't people get the hint. When I don't want to talk then I'm not gonna talk much. Just please leave me alone.