Thoughts from the void

Sometimes I feel sub-human. Like everyone in the world is better than me. Like all i deserve is to be lower than dirt. Like im a waste of space and air and no one would miss me if i died

My life is pointless

I wish i was good enough to be loved

Honestly sometimes I wonder why I haven't offed myself. All I have is the hope that things will get better but currently and for a long time now nothing has been getting better, only worse.

I over ate today so I tried for 15 minutes to make myself vomit but I couldn't. Stupid stomach

No one would care if I died

I wish I didn't fuckin crave love so much. I wish I could just live without it.

Whenever I see two people in love, I first am amazed by how wonderful it seems but then my heart clenches as I remember that it's never gonna happen for me. Why would it? There's nothing in me worth loving.

Do you ever get to the point where your depression is intoxicating because it's the only thing that makes you feel anything anymore?

My heart keeps daring to desire love but my head knows it's just not realistic for me.

I don't blame people for not being attracted to me. After all, I understand that everyone wants an attractive partner. I do too, but I know I'm never gonna get one. Not with the way I look and the fact that I don't have any other redeeming qualities. My faults are my own, I don't blame other people for me being alone.

Wow, what a great time to remember I'll never know what it feels like to be beautiful or attractive.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to accept is that I'll never be someone's beautiful.

Perhaps one day I won't be a complete and utter failure, but today is not that fucking day

When will the people around me realize that my self-deprecating jokes are in fact not jokes at all?

I over-ate and now I feel like shit 🙃