I was Spider-Man, and I invited a bunch of other Spider-Men to what I assume was my apartment so we could have a Spider-Man party, I guess.

Does anyone have that one Spider-Man image at hand?

No, the one with the three of them! Similar but with 3 guys.

That's the one!

Working class hero

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

Anal Cunt was famous for throwing bricks at their audience while they played. Like real ass cinder blocks. The pit would have to be a good 20 feet from the stage bc Seth had a good arm.

jesus christ

This is what happens when you're still on tumblr as an adult, you start reblogging shit like this

funniest shit ever is bath and body works having beef with build a bear workshop since they both have the same initials (babw), which causes shipments to occasionally be delivered to the wrong store

*bath and body works employee voice* well this sure as shit ain’t soap

*build a bear workshop employee voice* this is fucking soap

i dont bite people anymore. but i did as a child cos i thought i was a werepuppy. also i was still mormon so i would go into the school bathroom at 11:11 everyday (not a mormon thing i was just obsessed with witches n pretended i was one in 5th grade) and pray that god would turn me into a little dog so i could stop going to school. and i was always like "if you don't turn me into a little dog i will STOP BELIEVING IN YOU" and he didn't so i did.