Pokémon - Ultimate Incorrect Quotes
School Edition
Quotes are from my year book - we made one for us when we graduated from school and it was awesome.
Teacher: "You know who always works very structured? Leaf."
Leaf: "...I still have a life though."
Teacher talks about stereotypes of men and women
Gary: "Now he praised us!"
Drew: "You do realize, that we're always the negative example, right?"
Teacher: "We have another text, but we won't do it today and it won't be for homework!"
Paul: "It's happened, hells frozen over."
Teacher: "Sadly I don't have anything here, that's 1,50 meters long-"
Ash: "My DICK-"
Ash is supposed to read loud in front of the class
Paul: "Can you shut the fuck up?"
Dawn: "Do you know what it's like, to be burried alive?"
Gary, to Paul: "You're a backstabbing asshole, you know that?"
Dawn: "Now that's really pushing the boundaries of human rights!"
Gary: "I want to be enslaved by women."
Dawn: "Fluffiness is the Alpha and the Omega!"
In French lessons, Paul (latin student) visits Dawn because his lesson was cancled
Teacher: "What are you, Latin or French?!"
Paul, offended: "I'm german?!"
Gary: "Females often get judged on their appearances, they also have inner values."
Leaf: "What a gentleman."
Gary: "Chill, I didn't say I believe that."
Ash: "Hold on, I gotta zip up my pants real quick."
Paul: "I'm too old for this shit, this complicatedness pisses me off."
Paul, while playing Chess in math class: "Sorry, if my performance isn't up to the usual standards today."
Dawn: "Is that a vegan Kebab box?"
Looks inside
Dawn: "FrIeS wItH mAyO?! You can't do anything worse to your body, the saturated fatty acids will make you round and squishy!"
Proceeds to take a fry
Paul: "Being stupid ain't sexy."
Teacher: "Well, what literature do you read?"
Ash: "The TV Papers..."
May: "Drew Hayden, are you really a fucking capitalist?"
Dawn: "How are you always so fast with reading?"
Paul: "Mind-expanding substances do help sometimes."
May: "Well, Sir, I was looking at the plan for today and it says that we're watching a movie."
Misty: "Don't get blended by the blenders."
Drew: "Why so aggravated?"
May: "My brother called me in the middle of class to ask how he's supposed to make a ready-made Pizza."
Paul: "...and there you can see, that the Cold War still hasn't ended."
Gary: "I swear, goosebumps."
Teacher catches Paul correcting something in Dawn's exam
Teacher: "Paul, are you correcting my exams now?"
Paul: "No, but I couldn't let that stand there."
Teacher: "Which type of tractor did they use in the US at that time?"
Paul: "The fuck should I know...?"
Dawn, whispering to him: "I swear, it was John Deere."
Teacher: "It was John Deere."
Dawn: "...How did I know that?"
Paul: "How indeed..."
Dawn: "We gotta give life to this extraordinary excuse of a function!"
Paul: "Then push already."
Dawn: "And they need help for Third Reich countries!"
Paul: "World. Third World countries."
Dawn: "I thought the exam was fair, but I fucked it up anyway..."
Paul: "Gotta keep up with traditions, right?"
Teacher: "Who knows this Poet from the 20th century?"
Ash: "Shakespeare!"
Gary: "Dude, you're 300 years too early."
Teacher: "To my old french students, what does 'affront' mean?"
May: "Very voluminous hair!"
Group work in the glasshall, Gary knocks from outside
Paul: "Don't open that, Dawn, or he can touch me."
Dawn: "What was Jesus actually?"
Leaf: "A Jew."
Dawn: "Yeah, but was he catholic or protestant?"
Paul: "Lord, how you paved the way to Jerusalem for the people, so pave me the way to the nearest pub."
After receiving papers about Koonrad Adenauer
Paul: "Stop bending Adenauer."
Dawn: "But he doesn't fit in my bag otherwise."
Paul: "Then get a new bag, you don't just bend over Adenauer."
15:40, Gary is late
Gary: "Sorry, I overslept."
Teacher: "Dawn, are you playing Hay Day?!"
Dawn: "Nooo...?"
Teacher: "Huh. My son likes it too."
May: "Was Hitler still alive in 1939?"
The consequences of the Great Depression
Drew: "But there must have been someone to make profit out of all this."
Paul: "Yeah, Mother Courage and her fucking children."
Teacher: "I purposely excluded the line with the lubricant, so it doesn't come to any laughing fits."
Drew: "Why? Then Gary can make it himself and doesn't have to buy it all the time."
Gary: "Well, it also works with enough momentum."
Teacher: "Paul, I've brewed something special for you today."
Paul: "Ah yes, but I gotta drive later."
Teacher: "You know what to do when I burn?"
May: "Yeah, kick you out."
Dawn: "You twist and bend truths a lot."
Paul: "I know, I'm a lot like Hitler."
Paul: "Who parked next to me like that?!"
Conway: "That happens when you always park this crookedly."
Paul: "I'd say the same, if I was driving a bicycle to school every day."
Teacher: "Which colour does this have?"
Barry: "Seven."
Gary: "I love watching movies, that challenge me intellectually."
Ash: "Dude, we were watching Ice Age the other day."
Gary: "Climate change 'n shit."
Dawn, in chemistry: "Much helps much."
Dawn: "If this is in the final exam, I'm gonna hug our teacher!"
Paul: "I'm also gonna hug something." Plays with the trigger of a toy gun
Leaf: "You also gotta be able to calculate crooked curves."
Dawn: "Are there straight curves?"
Leaf: "Well, straight lines are also curves, just straight."
Dawn: Dies inside
Paul, gets a phone call in the middle of class: "Hold on, that's my heating oil."
Teacher, in Corona times, Paul's in quarantine: "And you didn't get infected? You had close contact to him?"
Dawn: "Very close."
May: "Doesn't get much closer than that."
Dawn: "I don't understand it..."
Paul: "Fine, I'll make it even easier with an example. A plane, 450 km/h fast, 400 meters in altitude. So, in which angle do you have to put the artillery to shoot the plane?"
Dawn: "...You should stop reading those old math books."
Dawn: "What do people even need so many Facebook friends for? Jesus only had twelve friends as well."
Paul: "And even there was an asshole."
May: "But what if I'm not good at math?"
Drew: "You gotta sell your soul."
Teacher: "Is your motto for today really whores and pimps?"
Gary: "Jup. By the way, Ash, can your mother lend me something for that?"
Dawn: "Has the ice bear gone extinct already?!"
Paul: "Knut the Icebear is dead and with that everything relevant within the species is over and done."
Paul: "So, how do the birch spinners get their colour?"
Dawn: "Huh? I thought they got them from flowers?"
Paul: "Dawn, I'm pretty sure they don't fly around and mix their own colours first."
May: "Can I ask a stupid question?"
Teacher: "There are no stupid questions."
May: "If a child is born, could you, hypothetically, shove it back in with a huge dil-"
Teacher: "Except for that stupid question."
Paul, enters the classroom, wrapped in tin foil: "Gary, you got a cigarette?"
Paul: "Apple Cider you make once in your life, once. Then you've done all the work and it tastes shit anyway."
Teacher: "Dawn, you have a creative way to write things down in math."
Dawn: "Yeah, I write them down wrong."
Teacher: "Or that."
Dawn: "Can we do a class sleepover again, like we did in fifth grade?"
Teacher: "As long as you don't do drugs or alcohol and don't have unprotected sex."
Paul: "But protected is alright?"
May: "He plays Handball in the Basketball Team!"
Misty: "I don't think he does."
Gary: "How can an electric car drive without alcohol?"
Gary, after receiving the tasks for the canceled class: "Daddy's got work for yoouuu!"
Paul: "Deception. It says Aldi, but it's Lidl inside."
Teacher: "Drew, what are those white spots on your shirt?"
Drew: "That can't be... I didn't... yesterday."
Paul: "We got 2000 Euros left for the class, what are we gonna do with it?"
Gary: "Cocaine and Whores."
School trips in their last year
Paul, at 12:00, one litre of beer in hand: "I'm looking forward to the potato salad, that'll be nice to throw up later.
Gary: "There have to be nasty fuckers in school, and that's us."
Red, yellow and green palace are all in way different colours
Dawn: "Was that guy colorblind or what?"
Paul: "The park is nice. Check out Goethe's cemetery, that's nice too."
While passing the statue of Aleksander Puschkin
Ash: "Is that the guy from the Wodka?"
Drew: "It really is ugly here."
Paul: "Gets better with every beer."
Dawn: "Just be able to communicate tomorrow..."
Paul: "What on earth made you think I wouldn't be?" Proceeds to chuck down is sixth beer that day
