bitter // sweet

to play hunter schafer 

          𝗦𝗛𝗘  𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗦  𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙  𝗪𝗢𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚  what  exactly  this  marriage  will  mean  for  her.  there  are  ulterior  motives  behind  everything  her  parents  do,  a  wish  to  make  their  heir  appear  the  best  she  can,  and  perhaps  this  is  how  they  believe  sunyoung  will  finally  live  up  to  her  potential  in  the  business  world.  she  knows,  of  course,  that  they  could  not  care  less  about  whether  or  not  this  will  actually  be  a  successful,  or  happy,  marriage  for  any  of  the  girls.

     there  is  a  huge  compliment  in  hyejeong’s  comment  that  lets  sunyoung  believe  there  is  the  slightest  ounce  of  hope  for  them.  the  best  she  dares  to  wish  for  is  friendship  —  forever  the  pragmatic,  sensible.  feelings  is  something  she  doesn’t  dare  to  tread  close  to  no  matter  the  situation.  «  you  know,  i  think  i’ll  quite  like  you  too,  »  she  smiles  carefully.

     that  boost  of  confidence  is  all  she  needs  to  recognize  that  both  of  them  deserve  better  than  this.  though  horribly  out  of  character,  and  an  idea  she  undoubtedly  didn’t  even  bother  to  entertain  a  second  ago,  the  girl  turns  to  her  wife-to-be.  «  maybe  we  really  should  just  ..  get  out  of  here  while  we  can.  »

hyejeong didn’t know what kind of woman she would end up spending the rest of her days with, if she were to spend the rest of her days with one to begin with, but she can’t help to picture the two of them with their aforementioned dogs in a penthouse apartment watching the sun go down behind large windows. they look good, she admits to herself, though that’s not hard to do with two beautiful women. 

there’s a small part of her that hopes sunyoung isn’t just agreeing with her for her sake. she’s not the planner her mother is, preferring to throw caution to the wind, but something tells her the other isn’t quite the same. and she understands, there’s still a lot to scrutinize about their partnership, things to find about about each other, kinks to work out between them. but for now, she’s genuinely surprised in the best way at sunyoung’s suggestion. 

          𝗔  𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥  𝗨𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘  𝗦𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗧  escapes  jihoon,  but  he  makes  no  attempt  to  hide  it.  honestly,  if  anyone’s  well  acquainted  with  his  charming  and  much  less  so  sides  it’s  definitely  teddy,  and  he  hasn’t  left  just  yet.  hoon  considers  that  a  win.

     there  is  something  teasing  resting  behind  teddy’s  words  and  normally  jihoon  would’ve  let  it  slip,  but  he’s  feeling  restless  and  playful  and  brave,  brave  enough  to  be  foolish  about  it.  «  oh  yeah  ?  i’ll  show  you  scary  !  »  and  with  that  he’s  tackled  the  other  boy  to  the  ground,  off  of  the  swing,  into  the  sand,  jihoon  placing  himself  on  the  other’s  stomach  with  a  laughter  rolling  off  of  his  tongue.

he feels like a kid again, although teddy’s never been shy from his youthful side. but right now, in a playground with someone he considers one of his best friends without a care in the world for a small moment in their lives, it’s perfect. 

          𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧  𝗢𝗙  𝗛𝗘𝗥  𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗  love  to  continue  their  game,  knowing  well  it  ends  with  them  tangled  up  somewhere  in  his  apartment,  but  even  fern  knows  to  prioritize  from  time  to  time  (  albeit  rarely  ).  seated  on  the  counter  she  attempts  to  peer  into  the  fridge  although  she’s  well  aware  of  all  its  contents.  «  old  leftovers  …  »  the  girl  pouts.  «  personally  i  think  we  should  order  pizza,  »  she  states,  but  her  tone  is  final  —  there’s  little  to  no  room  for  discussion  where  she  is  concerned.

          𝗛𝗘  𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗦  𝗘𝗫𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬  𝗛𝗢𝗪  to  get  her  on  her  knees,  hopelessly  begging,  and   he  makes  it  look  so  easy  too.  the  girl  moves  her  hips,  creating  friction  where  they  both  crave  it:  the  simple  reminder  of  their  slow  morning  shared  in  bed  is  enough  for  fern  to  let  out  a  pleased  moan,  a  prayer  for  more  of  his  touch.  still,  she  wants  to  be  earned.  «  mmm,  i’m  gonna  be  such  a  good  girl  tonight,  daddy,  »  she  mutters  into  his  ear,  «  but  did  any  of  your  thoughts  involve  dinner  ?  your  girl  is  starving.  »

          𝗜𝗧'𝗦  𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦  𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘  𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘  that  remind  jihoon  of  how  much  he  adores  spending  time  with  his  best  friend.  teddy  has  become  more  an  extension  of  himself  than  anything  else.  «  i  felt  really  bad  for  the  dog,  not  gonna  lie,  »  he  admits,  sighing  slightly.  

     «  oh  you  know  me  so  well,  theodore,  »  he  muses  aloud.  «  you  have  your  name  on  the  tags  ?  »   jihoon  chuckles,  almost  ashamed  he  hasn’t  noticed.  «  for  what  ?  so  scary  men  like  me  won’t  steal  them  ?  »  with  that  he  sways  over  to  the  other  boy  to  give  his  shoulder  a  playful  push.  «  a  tag  won’t  stop  me.  »

it’s a playful little jest and teddy doesn’t take it to heart at all but he still raises his chin up proudly and states,  ‘ my mommy wrote it on there for me. ’  to be more accurate, the habit of having his name on his clothing started with his mother but teddy’s the one who kept it up after all these years just so he could be sure about his own belongings. 

           𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬  𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘  𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦  𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡  proud.  the  hans  have  always  had  a  legacy  behind  them;  important  business  behind  an  important  name.  they  are  lions  on  this  scene  and  sunyoung  is  supposed  to  feel  that  glorious  sun  upon  her  skin  wherever  she  goes.  still,  there  is  no  light.  not  yet  anyway.

     whenever  she  thinks  she  has  her  freedom  her  parents  find  yet  another  way  to  tie  her  down.  perhaps  she  should  feel   more  strongly  about  her  love  life  being  compromised  like  this,  but  she  finds  an  odd  sort  of  comfort  in  it  most  of  all.  sun  never  was  one  for  dating  after  all,  and  this  is  by  far  one  of  the  better  choices  her  parents  could’ve  made  —  or  so  she  thinks,  for  now  at  least.

     «  i  know  the  type,  »  she  mutters  silently,  though  the  only  thing  her  parents  have  ever  inspired  in  her  is  fear.  she  supposes  that’s  why  her  twin  brother  ran  while  he  could,  effectively  leaving  her  as  the  only  heir  that  seemed  to  matter  anymore.  the  betrayal  still  sits,  but  she  is  moving  on  —  she  has  to  now  if  she  is  to  become  a  married  woman.

     hyejeong’s  idea  is  greeted  with  just  a  second  of  silence.  «  if  they  can  ward  off  my  family  i’m  all  in,  »  sun  decides  after  having  thought  some.  «  speaking  of,  should  i  go  fetch  them  or  ..  ?  »  in  all  honesty,  she  wants  to  make  a  run  for  it.  she’s  just  not  sure  she’s  brave  enough.

she supposes it’s best to not waste energy fighting a losing battle. if she’s crafty enough, hyejeong thinks she can milk out a big celebration out of the wedding itself. a final goodbye to her bachelorette days on her own terms. she wonders, silently, how sunyoung feels about hot air balloons and cruise ships. she’ll have to bring it up with her party planner later before springing it up on her fiancee. 

‘ i think i’m going to like you, ’  she says confidently -- speaking it out into the world,  ‘ if anything. ’  she trusts her parents enough to find someone she would eventually get along with at least, and if not there’s always the hush hush separation between spouses that would keep divorce at bay. but hyejeong doesn’t think that would be necessary as she continues to observe the woman opposite her. 

          𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬  𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘  𝗔  𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧  that  beckett  should  never  be  granted  passage  into,  and  whilst  the  man  knows  this  he  slithers  the  best  he  can.  this  is  his  biggest  flaw:  occupying  spaces  that  are  not  meant  for  him,  spaces  he  will  never  be  deserving  of.  alva is  too  good  for  him,  too  good  for  anyone  —  gentle,  caring,  with  a  touch  that  puts  angels  to  shame.

     beckett  is  sorry.  he  is  not  worth  it.  he  cannot  be  fixed.  still,  he  says  none  of  it.  he  hopes  alva  knows.  «  i  always  do,  »  he  points  out.  nights  alone  are  frightening  things.  «  can’t  we  ..  can’t  we  go  to  your  place  ?  »  there  is  a  plea  hiding  in  that  tone,  for  beckett’s  apartment  has  demons  in  the  cupboards  and  ghosts  in  the  walls  and  he  is  a  carcass  without  rest  there.  «  please  ?  »

alva smiles softly, their eyes shining as they play the part of caretaker. it’s so easy for them to slip into it -- to give and only give without ulterior motives. and maybe it’s too much, sometimes, but it’s how alva’s always been. helpful. mindful. self-sacrificing. if only to make everyone else feel better. it makes them feel useful. whole. like they’re worth something. because where alva continuously gives, beckett continuously takes ; a match well made in one of the more toxic iterations of romances. 

they bring a hand up to cup his jaw, trailing the pad of their thumb lightly along his skin.  ‘ okay, ’  they nod, the sudden worry of having beckett in his own home being triggering tugging at someplace deep within them to offer theirs.  ‘ yes we can. ’ 

           𝗛𝗘  𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦  𝗛𝗘𝗥  𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗦  turn  to  jelly  and  the  moment  his  hands  are  on  her  she  giggles  softly.  «  oh  yeah  ?  »  she  hums,  lips  pressing  against  his  cheek  playfully,  moving  down  to  his  neck  like  she’s  looking  for  the  button  to  push.  any  amount  of  time,  no  matter  how  long  or  short,  was  too  long  to  stay  apart.  «  what  were  you  thinking  about  ?  »

          𝗛𝗘  𝗛𝗔𝗦  𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡  𝗛𝗘𝗥  anchor  since  the  very  beginning  and  she  can’t  imagine  a  life  without  him  now.  she  should  be  scared  of  this  dependency,  but  somehow  she  finds  it  comforting  —  he’s  always  been  there  and  she  hopes  more  than  anything  that  he  will  continue  to  be.

     his  words  don’t  fall  on  deaf  ears,  but  hwayoung  fails  to  respond  with  more  than  a  smile.  only  he  renders  her  speechless  like  that.

     «  you’re  never  getting  out  of  that  group.  they  love  you  too  much,  »  the  girl  muses,  giving  his  shoulder  a  friendly  bump.  «  though  i  think  a  fight  between  russo  and  you  could  be  very  entertaining.  »

he grumbles under his breath. she’s not wrong -- she hardly is, as she probably knows him as much as his own mother does. maybe even better if she’s as perceptive as he thinks she is. but he pushes the thought away as it begins to go down a path he doesn’t want it to, a path that is too risky for idols of their stature.