Creative Victuals

A drunk couple wearing parody Dr. Seuss jerseys that read “Turnt 1” and “Turnt 2” mark the second and third times I see someone vomiting.

Twenty-year-old me thinks, “Power couple.”

Thirty-year-old me thinks, “I can’t even appreciate the irony of their shirts because I’m too worried that there aren’t enough medical tents here.”

Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory.

I’ve had the great fortune of having my bathroom schedule synced with Maria for over two years. Every time we see each other in there, we smile and shake our heads, as if to say, “Here we are again! Peeing at the same time!” I think she’s also responsible for the internal newsletter?

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Carrie excels at hanging out by the coffee machine and challenging the company dress code, but engaging in small talk at company parties and other awkward get-togethers is where she truly shines. From “Mad Men” to Nicki Minaj, Carrie is able to juggle pop-culture references on a consistent basis.

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Lumosity - The new account sign up form personally addresses you as it validates inline.

Not long after a friend of mine learned she was expecting her first child, her husband sought out a job at Facebook. As a dad-to-be, he found the company particularly attractive for its generous paternity leave policy — 17 weeks of paid time off.

That’s the highest, tied with Reddit, among the 13 companies surveyed by BuzzFeed about their parental leave policies — a mix of newer tech companies like Google and LinkedIn, and some of the largest companies in the U.S. by market capitalization, like Walmart, Procter & Gamble, and IBM.

The newer companies, on the whole, tended to offer much more generous paid leave policies for both parents; one company surveyed, Boeing, doesn’t offer any paid leave for new parents at all.

Then again, they don’t have to. The U.S. is among a handful of countries that don’t require employers to offer paid maternity leave. (Paid paternity leave is less universal.) U.S. law mandates only unpaid parental leave regardless of gender.

Except for Facebook and Reddit, every company surveyed offers more paid leave for new moms than for new dads. Parents who create families through adoption or surrogacy — a group that includes many same-sex couples — may also receive less than mothers who give birth.