SocialMed.

It's killing me.

I've been a horrible friend. They're both gone and I don't know if they're ever coming back....I probably deserve it.

It's been a couple days. I've been drinking and smoking my thoughts away. Will she come back? Did I lose her? Was it all for naught...is love real? Is this love I feel real. It feels real. It feels strong. Every time I see something it stings my heart a little bit and I can't help it but that's just how it feels. My brain just wants to reach the bottom of this endless pit I seem to be falling into. Or maybe I'll be rescued and pulled back up.

I feel like I'm 30.

Someone just please make it quick and painless.

I just uhm

Someone help me explain this lmfao.

At times I feel like I don't belong and other times I feel happy and uplifted, then I get sad again.

I think about what I could've done, not what I'm doing. I act like it even matters trying to think about things like that.

Ya know, like you wanna metaphorically shoot yourself in the head kind of thing? Idk.

Kinda wish I had some fireball right about now....don't wanna turn into an alcoholic tho lmao, better to keep your problems inside until they tear your personality out and nuke it about 3000 times.

What even is this post tho like someone explain it to me.

hmm wonder what would've happened if I did that thing at prom I always joked about.

I fucking miss highschool already.