Uneven Verses...

I'm going places some day,

My dreams aren't just a fantasy,

I'll turn them to reality,

I won't succumb to circumstances,

I'll be taking my own chances,

you don't believe me? alright,

Just watch me persevere and fight,

your words wont affect me,

I'll dictate my own destiny.

Typed out under the cut in case my handwriting wasn't legible.

Typed out under the cut, in case my writing wasn't legible:

That's me, I am bitches.

I look at the mirror,

I see a walking disaster,

My hair is a mess,

Flying everywhere it can,

Dark tired shadows,

Rim my dull sunken eyes,

Zits, whiteheads, blackheads,

My chapped lips complete my looks,

Shouldn't want to look the way I do,

But I don't ming looking like this though,

I look so so bad,

But it mirrors the storm inside,

I'm fine looking how I feel,

Too tired to try conceal,

Feels better than being dolled up,

When my thoughts have me fucked up,

I shouldn't be okay looking this way,

Maybe I would when I feel okay one day.

Why do you even think I'm nice,

When I'm anything but that,

Why do you even look up to me,

When I'm just useless, so worthless,

Why do you wish to be like me so bad,

When I can't even get out of bed,

Why am I even in your life,

When I don't even deserve to be alive,

I'm just a brat, wasting oxygen,

Pretty sure I'll dissappoint everyone,

I'm ungrateful for the life I have,

Maybe I should have had it worse,

My fucked up head keeps digging up angst,

Trying to feel valid by victemising myself,

Moping around, being sad,

When I don't even have a reason for that,

Yet I'm a monster, numb and heartless,

I cant even cry, such an empty bitch,

Why am I like this,

Why am I this clumsy mess,

Why am I so exceptionally bad,

Even when I think I'm trying my best,

Every day I regress,

Can't even hold a candle to my past self,

Why am I not already dead,

I often wish I wasn't me,

I wish I wasn't this clumsy mess,

That I wasn't this hopeless case,

Not the butt of everyone's jokes.

I wish I didn't hate myself.

I wish I could be someone else.

Someone more mature,

Who won't mess eveything they touch,

Won't be called out for every word.

I wish I could just change myself,

Become someone who could be appreciated,

Who didn't feel so alienated,

Who was more than just tolerated,

I'm tired of being laughed at,

I wish I was someone else instead.

(Click for better quality)

Tw: mentions of blood and self harm