Yes, they're all mine.

taylorswift this was four years ago. The beginning of a love affair that is still going strong. My two year old son excited because he got tickets to see the Speak Now show.

Sometimes you can be in a crowded room and scream and still feel alone. Figuratively speaking. Sometimes I feel like I am standing on my front porch in the middle of a raging storm screaming at the rain. No matter how loud my voice, it goes unheard. I just feel helpless. That is the way when your children are genetically predisposed to mental disorder. Every sad day, every angry outburst terrifies me. Every off the cuff remark scares me. This disease is so virulent, and it breaks me to see my children suffer with symptoms of it. I can't stop the storm. I can't take that darkness away from them. It's not something you can spank away. It's not because they aren't loved or cared for. It's in their programming, the very fiber of their being. It invades every part of who they are and eats them. It breaks me to see it in other people. My heart sank when Robin Williams passed away. You don't know until you live with people who have the disease. But it's so much harder knowing I am raising children that have those demons lurking in the shadows of their thoughts, causing them to doubt themselves. Sometimes the voices get too loud for them. My job is to stop the demons. To stand on the porch and scream into the storm "you will not come for my children. You will not get through me." And though my voice is small, it is powerful. The night, the darkness of the storm, will NOT take my kids. I will keep screaming at the rain. They are my beloved, and the darkness can't have them.

Every day I open up the curtains in my children's rooms. Even if they aren't home. Because I want to let the sun shine in their window. Not because it will warm things, but because the sun brings in so much happiness. I want to bathe their rooms in happiness all day, and hope they feel it with the love that permeates the house always. When they are all grown up I want them to close their eyes and think of their childhood and remember sunshine and how it seemed to make everything glow happy in my house.

Sometimes I wish the wolves would come out of the walls, just so I could have grown up conversations. And coffee, with wolves. It would be lovely. We could discuss the finer points of literature, news, and well, anything that isn't farts, boogers or poop. Yes, let the wolves out of the walls. We can share the tea pot and sofa for a while. neil-gaiman

If I could do as much in one hour as my toddler can undo in thirty seconds, I could clean the world in a day.

As a mom, there is no "news level of low" too low to be considered

Well, it's not Cake Boss, but I am not from Jersey.

This morning I cooked almost a pound of bacon and 18 blueberry muffins. I don't know if it will be enough.

One week, folks. One week ago there was no room on these shelves for anything. Then the monsters came and devoured everything. I am raising monsters. Five of them. Who can consume food in a manner that would scare old men.

His crackers are having a full on war inside his bagel. Each one has a different voice, two have abandoned ship already. And ultimately Hulk smashed everything. To a theme song he made up. This kid rocks.

There is something magical about blankets draped over chairs and table. Outside they look like blankets. Inside it's a forest. There are three wolves in there, fighting off monsters. The wardrobe had nothing on my breakfast table. Times like these I hear that taylorswift song. Oh darlin don't you ever grow up.

The things my son can't sleep without. Too funny. And here we thought it was just a phase four years ago. taylorswift

Redefining beautiful. Posting unfiltered, unedited, no makeup pics for 30 days. I am beautiful. #30beautifuldays day 1