Crazy Random Fucker

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 "Debauve and Gallais. DEBAUVE AND GALLAIS. You just had to be Monsieur. Parfait and get her the most expensive chocolates every time she's on her period! I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET HER THOSE EVERY TIME SHE HAS A CRAVING!!!!" When Scarabella snatched his unassuming frame off the designated rooftop with her yoyo as soon as he arrived for patrol, Chat Noir already braced himself for a verbal lashing from his Lady's best friend. He just didn't expect it to be regarding the way he dotes on the love of his life nor did he expect it to be somewhat of a problem for everyone else...?

 "But my Lady deserves the best in the world." Was all he could answer, coming across as a little bit whingey and just like Guangdang's sad-looking cat (still tied up by the bandalore's wire and his kitten ears flat against his golden hair). "You guys should let me know whenever she has a craving. I can get them right away, it's no problem."

 "No, no, no! You will not spend over €300 daily on chocolate for her! She goes through the entire box in MINUTES." Scarabella then momentarily muttered to herself but Chat Noir picked up every single word. "Not to mention that she refuses to share with me or Tikki." She went back to glaring at him. "Oh, and don’t let me get started on the sleepovers."

 He could only cock his head to the side in confusion.

 "I now get ZERO hours of sleep because SOMEBODY has conditioned Ladybug into becoming a cuddler! Not only does it get so hot and make me all gross and sweaty— her grip is so TIGHT that I swear she's probably broken one of my ribs! Maybe two or three! This is all your fault!" She jabbed a finger at his forehead and not even his surprised little "miaou!?" was enough to cool her down.

 "W-Well. Maybe you should just get stronger. Then her cuddles won't feel so tight. Or just call me and I'll cuddle with her since I’m her boyfriend, slash future-husband in the process. You should be honoured to even get my Lady's cuddles. Hmmph!" He bleated, squirming on the spot and trying to get out of his bounds. Thankfully for him, Scarabella dropped her yoyo to silently scream into her hands and the hero was finally free.

 "You're insufferable!" She whisper-shouted.

 "But my Ladybug loves me this way~! And I’m gonna go buy her five boxes of those chocolates tonight~!"

 The rest of the patrol was spent with Scarabella chasing and nagging Chat Noir like an angry mother and the latter acting like a bratty child who found joy in winding her up. Their bickering was so loud, they unfortunately caused the akumatisation of a very sleep-deprived man who had a shift starting at five in the morning and he did not appreciate their lack of consideration.

 All the while, Marinette was knocked out in her bed, trying to sleep her period pain away and blissfully dreaming about her favourite chocolates that had captured her entire heart since the first bite.

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