Loving Life And Excommunication

Me, after growing up in a cult: damn why am I so weird and unstable and don’t know how to interact with the world

I hope your god has asked for your mercy. I hope youve refused to forgive him.

i love this more and more every time i see it.

I have so much love for this person. The amount of empathy it takes to have these considerations about a person you will never meet, the eloquence and conviction with which they speak, the contempt for landlords. Sometimes I see something someone writes or creates and I wish with everything in me that I could meet and talk to that person for hours about what caused them to be this kind of light in the universe. This is one of those times.

ballerina farm devastates me because y'all don't know how many girls i know who are her. how i almost was her. how so many girls i know were almost her. how many i know that will still become her. mormon girls, who, despite all their ambitions, will give up every one of their dreams for a man and a "traditional" lifestyle they were taught they needed, and call it equal. who will insist that he made sacrifices too. that though it's not what she wanted she's happy. being raised as a mormon girl in utah, or being a young woman converting to mormonism, you're taught that no matter where you go or what you achieve that you'll never be nothing more than your future husband. that your only purpose is to be a mother and a wife. and that full ride to julliard never mattered. and it never will. because you're a wife now. and you have eight kids to take care of. and a ballet studio that never came to be because it's a schoolroom. and your husband won't pull his weight even when you're fainting and bedridden from exhaustion. and your husband refuses to leave the room for your interview. and you admit to your epidural like it's a secret and it's something to be ashamed of. and you admit that this was never the life you wanted, this was never what you planned, and you still insist your happy. i know dozens of little girls who dreamed of being ballerinas. doctors. scientists. singers. movie stars. lawyers. authors. astronauts. olympians. i know that those little girls are now young women who go to church every sunday. wives. mothers. homemakers. caretakers. nuturers. fulfilling their heavenly duty. their obligation to their husband. i know a dozen hannah neeleman's. i know her because i almost was her. i know her because i see her in my mother and my grandmother and her mother too. and right now she's an internet trend who will disappear for most people in a couple months. you probably never learned her name. but i see hannah neeleman in every girl i grew up going to church with. in all the 18 year old wives and 20 year old first time moms. and it will be hard to forget the way her face still lights up whenever she gets to dance. feet moving along the hard wood of the schoolroom floor. and she will be someone more than her husband, more than a mother or a wife.

not if you’re mormon

every time you SIN you gain ONE SINPOINT. i SIN frequently and gain SINPOINTS often because i am not gentle or kind. i buy perfume that smells like wolves

The Rapture etc. whatever but I think my favorite piece of Christian misinformation is how people started to explain away the "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God" line by saying "actually, there was a gate in 1st century Jerusalem called the Eye of the Needle Gate, and people had to take everything off their camel to make it crawl through the small gate only for camels, but they would go back for their possessions, which means it's not impossible for rich people to go to Heaven, it's just really hard, and they don't have to give up anything, and don't question why no one mentioned this gate in any context until twelve centuries later"

The good Mormon girl to man who swears like a sailor pipeline