Crash

I feel like I’ve barely had time to breathe these past couple of days. 

I feel the same way.

Grandma was super excited I was cooking… And extremely depressed when she found out that all the fuss was to simply put boiling water on noodles. Sorry, granny. 

It's still pretty sweet, you cooking for your granny like that.

— Today at work some guy wore green bright socks under his grey slacks and a bright pink tie. I don’t understand, don’t they have a fashion sense?

I think a person should be able to wear what they wish? I bet you'd know what it feels like to be judged on petty things.

If you don’t like me then I must be doing something right.

You might not be seeing me, I don't want to see you again actually.

Masey sounds like a repellant.. Hit me? No worries, I like kinky.

Good now go away. I don't like you Mason.

Yes, but it doesn’t always have to be that serious. Like I got a free doughnut. Just use whatever you have to your advantage. If you got it, flaunt it right? I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make.

I know, the severity would depend on the situation. 

Might want a name change, Crash doesn’t really advance you further in life.

I don't put that on my resume Masey. It's something else that makes them not hire me. My fucking luck. Now before I get urge to hit you please shut up.

I think you’re missing my point here, mate.

It's like the art of war. “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”  Use what they think to my advantage. Be it to prove them wrong or gains something with little to no effort.

Hilarious.. So then Blue Eyes. What are you doing here anyway?

Looking for a job.

Well that’s good. Of course I wouldn’t want that I actually happen. But you see what I mean.

I can hold my own in a fight anyway. So I;m good.

Well, no. That’d be ridiculous. Let’s say people often think you’re weak or less masculine. If someone tries to start a confrontation with you, use that to your advantage until they have their guard down, then take them out. All I’m saying is that stereotypes can come in handy sometimes. They’re not always a bad thing. 

Smart, but I doubt I'd be on anyone's radar for that to happen.

Five minutes in and we’re already at pet names, Aren’t we just adorable?

I know I am.

Good, Because people who do bug the shit out of me.. Pleasure’s all mine, Blue Eyes.

I'm sure it is, babe.

Oh I’m hurt. The pain of screaming apathy and lacking perceptive. Really.. I met you two seconds ago, Blue Eyes. Already think you’ve figured me out?

I don't care enough about you to figure you out. 

You don’t look like a whiner, and I don’t care enough to whine over it. By the way? That’s called sarcasm, babe. Don’t flatter yourself.

You just scream apathy. Are you stupid? Because I'm pretty sure I sounded sarcastic enough in my last retort. Oh well, not everyone can be perceptive.

I’m closer to the stereotypical guy who whines about how he hates love. Except when I say it? I mean it. Sweetheart.. How cute. 

That we have in common, except I don't whine. Aw, you're already thinking I'm cute, how disgusting.

I don’t do love songs. I can’t even look at one of my white girl fans for over three minutes. You want me to sing about them? No. Okay then. You’re not great. Happy?

You look like a white girl fan. I don't care about what you do or don't do. Sweetheart, you could never make me happy.