you walk in there for the first time thinkin’ I’m gonna buy some hand soap today and then some dude who smells like something impossible, like he’s being described by a YA author, he smells like lavender, leather, and the steam coming from hot pavement after a short summer rain,

That guy. He comes up to you and he asks if he can help you sample something. He leads you to a small, metal basin of water. It’s so pastoral, it’s so quaint. You can imagine it sitting beside your bed with a porcelain pitcher in your farm cottage for you to use to wash your face in the morning.

He rolls up your sleeve a bit, and you awkwardly apologize for not doing it yourself, and he says it’s fine.

Sir LeatherRain gently rinses your hand in the warm water, and then he dries it off attentively. Then he massages some of the product into your palm. It’s the cinnamon bean massage bar. He says “don’t you love how it feels warm as you rub it in?”

He’s making more direct eye contact with you than you’ve ever made in your entire life.

As he finishes, a woman who smells like coffee beans and pink-skied winter sunrises approaches and says “oh I LOVE that product.”

You know it’s about the sell. It’s transactional, but you’re in love. You can’t help it.

You’re also More uncomfortable than you’ve ever been in your entire life.

Mr (master/mister) - masculine / male

Ms (mss/miss) - feminine / neutral

Mx (mix) - neutral / otherly

Me (mistree) - neutral

Mn (misen/missen/mixen) - neoneutral 

Ml (misla) - neutral / otherly 

Mb (misby/misbie) - neutral / enbinine

De/Dᵉ (done) - neutral / otherly

Mt (mixt/mistix) - demineutral / young mix

Mrx (mirx) - neutral / xenine / otherly

Mz/mzz (miz/mizz) - unknown / undefined

@vinegaregrette

You know what a nonbinary person is, right? That's a person who is neither a man nor a woman. Because most people are handed one of those genders when they are born, and nonbinary people don't identify with that gender given to them, nonbinary people are transgender.

"Enbyphobia" is one of a few terms that refers to bigotry against nonbinary people on the basis of their nonbinary identity. It's transphobia specific to nonbinary people. Alternative terms include "nonbinaryphobia," "exorsexism," and "ceterophobia".

Unfortunately, there are binary trans people (that is, trans men and women) who are enbyphobic. Famous alt-right trans woman Blaire White is my favorite example of this. She staunchly believes, in spite of every field of science, that there are only two genders and has referred to nonbinary people as "trans-r_tarded" cis invaders of the trans community.

The meme is saying that enbyphobic rhetoric (such as claims that there are only two genders or that nonbinary people aren't "trans enough") is oppressive against nonbinary people even when fellow trans people exert it.

The opinion offends some binary trans people because they believe they, as a trans person, cannot be transphobic in any way. This is false.

In the case of enbyphobic trans women, who are known to be more oppressed in society than TME people (people who don't experience transmisogyny), this oppression is considered to be lateral oppression-- trans women are nowhere near the main cause of the problem, but ones who spout enbyphobia contribute to the main problem, which is enbyphobia from cis (not trans) people.

Can’t get your partner off on the first try? Cool. You can still be thoughtful and make them feel good.

Can get your partner off within 30 seconds? Awesome, good for you both, don’t let it get to your head.

Can make someone cum in less than 5, but for others, it’s a process that takes an hour? That’s alright, everyone’s different. 

Does it take you 30 minutes to cum? That’s okay, you’re not broken, you’re not a failure.

Does it take you 10 seconds to cum? That’s great, you’re not a slut, you’re not overly sensitive or dirty. 

Can’t cum without toys/vibrators? That’s awesome, that’s a valid part of sexual play!

Can only cum with loving, vanilla sex? That’s perfectly normal, and you will find lots of great partners to experience that with!

Can’t orgasm at all? THAT’S ALSO COOL. It’s not a bad thing, you can still enjoy sex TONNES just like others.

No, but it still felt great

Yes, and it felt really great

Yes, but coming isn’t that big a deal for me

No, can you keep going?

Yes, can you keep going?

No, do you want to watch me get myself off?

Yes, but don’t get a big head about it – I come so easily it doesn’t matter what you do.

No, but I bet I can get you up again

Yes, but I’d rather keep edging because I always get a huge drop after coming and it really puts me off sex for a while

No, thank you, orgasm denial leaves me deliciously horny for days

No, and I’m really frustrated, let’s brainstorm how to change that

All of these are fucking awesome answers.  Including the last one.  They’re also 100% legitimate answers.  Including the last one.

Only the last one is even a little bit “negative,” and, really, how bad, arrogant, or egocentric a lover do you have to be that you’d rather not know when your partner says “here are some great ways to help me come next time, lover?”

If on the other hand you’re going to panic or be unhappy about that last answer then you’re not a bad lover (no shame either way) but your sex life will be less workable.  With the result that you’ll continue having, well, the same result.

To be honest, whether you or your partner comes isn’t the most important thing about sex.  It’s whether you’re both satisfied afterwards.  The only trick being that 

You get to decide what “satisfied” means for you

You don’t get to decide what “satisfied” means for your partner(s.)  

Asking “did you come” isn’t really the right question.  “Does this work for you” is way healthier.  That’s the culture we want to look for and encourage.

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