CrackedOreo @crackedoreooo - Tumblr Blog

mqn im just tryna take a shit in peace and the goddamn army rolls up smh

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she literally just called me to tell me about car crash statistics

#she also just left my house #called me while im shitting smh #and yes i turned my camera on

crackedoreooo

tumblr: you have a new follower

ethan: oh it's probably another porn bot *clicks email to see the profile pic*

ethan: oh wow thats a whole-ass man

ethan: *clicks profile*

first thing on profile: *patriotic woman in bikini*

crackedoreooo

correction: being attracted to boobs seems pointless

boobies feed babies they have a point

#the point of the boob is also known as the nipple

tumblr: you have a new follower

ethan: oh it's probably another porn bot *clicks email to see the profile pic*

ethan: oh wow thats a whole-ass man

ethan: *clicks profile*

first thing on profile: *patriotic woman in bikini*

#this would not be a bad thing if i were interested in boob #but boob has no appeal to the ethan #i like women and all boobs are just eh #they seem kinda pointless

anyone else ever get so excited they bounce?

that was me when the title for this movie faded in

#spirit stallion of the cimarron #this movie is so good and i havent watched in it like half a year #v excited

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"not gonna tell you when but this rain will stop eventually"

fuck yeah i am so ready for fall

humid as shit but i havent seen the temp dip below 70 in weeks. i absolutely die in the heat

#i thrive in the cold #youll catch me in a tee and shorts when it's 45 out

dreams do come true

#ethans friends are so cool #crackedoreos-pimp

crackedoreooo

ethan: *on call with ucs for half an hour on hold*

ethan every time the hold song changes: 📱🤚😃 (i think they picked up but they never did)

crackedoreooo

i am successfully back on hold lol

#i got the appointment rescheduled woo

ethan: *on call with ucs for half an hour on hold*

ethan every time the hold song changes: 📱🤚😃 (i think they picked up but they never did)

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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had to remind myself that when youre in a hospital and you dont have to use the handicap stalls in the bathroom you probably shouldnt

#especially when this hospital has like 50 wheelchairs onhand and theyre almost always all being used

chloe: alexa, are you homophobic?

alexa: i like people of all colors

cannot believe all ive had to eat all day was a few bites of Chinese when we went to a buffet yet 6 pills filled me up

my appetite is such shit lately

#probably has something to do with the favt that i cant take two pills at a time #and i have to take them with water to swallow them #and even then i struggle #at least my heart palpitations are gone for now uwu

crackedoreooo

my dad sent me an mp3 of him playing my (at the time) favorite david bowie song in front of 8 year old me

crackedoreooo

my dad sent me an mp3 of him playing my (at the time) favorite david bowie song in front of 8 year old me

#david bowie #do people even still care about david bowie #that guy practically raised me

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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crackedoreooo

my father literally just discord me saying "senpai noticed me!" and sent a screenshot of a twitter reply from game sack

crackedoreooo

oh god he sent me the everyone in piano man is gay tumblr thread

my father literally just discord me saying "senpai noticed me!" and sent a screenshot of a twitter reply from game sack

#game sack #guess almost crashing to take a pic of a license plate that said ys man was worth it #i dont understand any of this

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