I texted Kimmy around 6:10 telling her to squeeze into her best spanx and throw on that little black dress because the girls were hitting the town. I had just worked a 65 hour week and I was in desperate need of several gin and otnics, maybe a few tequila shots and some serious girl time.
Is just you and I or are we going on one of your dates?
Yes, I, Cecila Palmer was dating again - except I wasn’t really dating. I was accepting offers from men to take me out, then bringing Kim along while I convinced them to bring a friend as well. We had a decent time, but there was never a second date and I always went home with Kimmy. I laughed as I read her text and then replied that no, we were going out just her and I.
I wore my most prized possession, 6” flatform wedges, they looked like a strappy sandal that a Barbie would wear and I had forced myself to learn to walk in them. They made me 5’6 (which is incredibly tall for me, considering I barely make 5’1) and I loved seeing peoples faces when I didn’t eat shit walking around in them.
We headed to the bar, arm in arm and quickly sat down to begin our gossip session. It wasn’t even three sips into my gin and tonic before Kim’s face soured and I swear, she almost snarled.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
Before I could react, someone was tapping my shoulder.
“Oh, we know these girls! Guess we can spare our cheesy pick up lines,”
Evan was now embracing me,
“How’re you gorgeous? Long time no see, ha-ha.”
Too bad it wasn’t that long ago and he was literally trying to pick me up in a bar a week prior, sans Jack. Evan was his sleaze ball “best friend.” I’d never eye rolled so hard in my life as I did in that moment,
“Hi Ev, hi Jack…” I gave them my best bitch face which I had been practicing, Kimmy had a super uncomfortable smile plastered on her face,
“What’re you guys doing here? Were you about to hit on us for real? Like you didn’t recognize the girl you were in love with and dating for almost two years and her best friend?”
I couldn’t help but smirk at her comments, she had a way of saying things in a way that made you feel like shit and an idiot.
“Of course I recognized Cecila, no one else would commit to the shoes she insists on wearing, plus… Her hair.... It always looks like she just got it done.”
I tried to make eye contact with Jack, but then scolded myself for being flattered by his compliments,
I chose to say nothing and instead stared off into the distance, pretending I didn’t care for his charm any longer.
Suddenly, the conversation just turned into awkward statements that were clearly meant to just fill the cold, dead air.
“I have to use the bathroom, excuse me.” I strutted off, feeling bad for leaving Kim, but I knew Jack would get the hint. This was a signature move that all women abuse, especially me to avoid uncomfortable situations. You know why? Because it always works.
I returned to the table two minutes later and low and behold, no more boogeymen.
“We need to leave this bar, right now, immediately. It’s tainted, onto the next.”
“Are you sure, C? We just got here, we’ve had one drink – besides, this place is huge! Come on.”
“No, I don’t want to be here, especially not if he’s on the hunt for girlfriend #77, please?”
“Okay, okay only because I love you and I know you’re buying majority of the drinks.”
I held out my hand, she gladly accepted and we headed across the road to one of my favourite places in the entire universe: Big in Japan.
We walked in and it was beyond packed, as always, Kim led me upstairs and I was iffy because 1) it was cold 2) I’d never really been upstairs at night and 3) stairs, my arch nemesis.
I went to go sit at the bar when I heard my name,
“CECILA, CECILA PALMER, CECILA!”
I turned and there at a table in front of the bar, sat 4 familiar faces. The first was AJ Matsmith, someone who had come into my life during freshmen year of high school, he had also been roommates in college with a good friend of mine. The second was Kiwi, a nickname given to him in middle school, I never knew why I just always knew him by Kiwi, third was Spence, we were not friends and I didn’t see it changing anytime soon(?). Lastly, Nick Yu – someone who had always had my attention, but never knew. He was a cutie in high school, we’d attended many of the same parties, but words were never exchanged due to his long term girlfriends. (I am not a homewrecker).
I consider this group an extension of the boyfriend clan; they weren’t really apart of it, but often appeared at house parties, holiday events and random outings to the bar.
I quickly walked over and said my hello’s, it had recently been AJ’s birthday, but I was unable to attend because my serious intoxication at another birthday.
I sat down at the nearest seat, which to my luck was right beside Nick.
“How’re you? Wow, you look amazing! I haven’t seen you in forever, you never made it to my birthday, eh?”
“I’m sorry, I was incred- OH MY GOD THIS IS KIMMY, SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND.” I was so excited that I was being the person I hate – the ones who forget you exist when they see someone they know and then you’re left standing there, awkwardly wondering if you should introduce yourself or run away.
Everyone beamed at Kimmy, like they always did – she was a tiny little human, she was 5ft tall, size double 0 and absolutely stunning.
Hello’s were exchanged all around, when I suddenly had a brilliant idea; tequila shots.
“Be right back, I have something I want to give all of you.”
I run to the bar, ordered the shots and grinned at everyone’s disgusted faces when they realized what poison I’d put infront of them.
“Don’t be a pussy, I brought limes.”
After the shot, I was shocked at that Nick began chatting me up, asking me where I was working now, what I was taking in school, etc. We chatted for a good ten minutes when it hit; I had to pee for real because before I was just fake peeing.
“I need to use the bathroom, sorry, hold that thought.” When I stood, Nick’s eyes widened,
“Those are some shoes, holy,”
“They’re my most prized possession.”
“I have to go too actually, I’ll come with you.”
Kim shot me a look that said, are you trying to escape? Do you need help?
I just winked at her and smiled, she was such a good friend.
“I can help you down the stairs if you need it,” and with that, he held out his hand. I smiled,
“It’s okay, I’m kind of a pro,”
I suddenly regretted not taking his advance;
“… But these stairs are kind of steep and stairs are kind of my kryptonite, if you know what I mean,”
He laughed and immediately helped me, I was suddenly feeling what I hadn’t felt in ages; butterflies.
We both went to the bathroom and when I came out, I was expecting him to be waiting… Except, he wasn’t. I thought maybe he was in the bathroom too, I posted up on the wall and waited. Two minutes went by, then three… I suddenly realized what a fool I was standing here and that he most definitely was back at the table, I walked up the stairs thought what a doofus he was, who walks a girl to the bathroom and then doesn’t wait?! When I reached the top, there stood Nick out of breath and apologizing profusely.
“I’m sorry! I left something at the table that was kind of important and I had to run back, sorry!”
I just laughed, what the hell?
Suddenly, closer by the chainsmokers was playing and I knew I was about to lose my shit.
“I apologize for what I’m about to do,”
I began dancing and singing at the top of my lungs and then like clock work, so did he. We looked ridiculous, dancing in the middle of a bar to this completely girly song and loving every minute of it. We didn’t even feel like strangers; something about it just felt familiar, safe, fun.
When we back to the table, Kimmy was grilling me and I was a giddy school girl. As the liquor flowed, so did our silliness, this night was doomed at the beginning and now I was having the time of my life.
When the bar began to close, we headed for food and I realized how incredibly unstable I was becoming.
I smiled and clutched his arm and then sighed, I liked this boy and I knew it, I never liked the boys I went on dates with or met. Kimmy had been chatting up one of the other guys, leaving me and Nick alone which was nice, but also sad.
I laughed and then felt embarrassed by what fell out of my mouth next,
“I like you and I don’t want to like you, I mean, shit, I’m sorry that was rude.”
He was suddenly laughing and smiling at me in a way that just melted my entire existence. Stop it, dammit. LOOK AWAY.
“I like you too, you’re an honest and incredibly funny girl.”
I smiled and looked away,
“Let’s go on a date sometime.”
Back at one of the guy’s houses, we exchanged numbers and then I did something I hadn’t expected – I slept on this miserable, tiny little couch with this wonderful human that had come into my life. I even let him cuddle me and didn’t hate it. We arranged to meet next weekend, on a Saturday afternoon for dinner and a movie.
I left early the next morning, anxious for the next time I would get to see Nick Yu.
