Life Is A Coin

Hi I’m coy .

I have learned that my mom gave up on me, dad bailed on me , other family became toxins .

How life just gets more harder and I don’t know what to do. Im scared most times. Don’t know what career i can do very limited experience and job offerings. I ain’t falling in a hole yet . but who knows if i ever will see that day .

I think of you everyday how it wasn’t fair you should still be alive. but it has taught me the valuable lessons of patience and what is important. no matter what my needs are it needs to wait til a perfect time where i can finally do something about it and that’s not til years away.

Time moves faster then a dang cheetah . The most annoying thing ever.

I do know if i died nobody that i ever knew or anyone would care . Just imagine that feeling if u lost today your life , thats it theres nothing or anyone that would care . Hard to swallow . Everyone around me has been raised with proper love and care but when it comes to me i’m just a soul. But all of these thoughts are if i died today or any day soon.

Broken more then you will ever know. sad to know I will just die not ever feeling my life was ever worth living ..

Everyday is the same and boring. I try to find anything to keep a better mindset whether it’s scrolling the internet ,looking through recipes, watching tv , do a hobby , it all leads to boredom .

When you surround yourself with the wrong people it makes you become weak and vulnerable you lose yourself.

Love has probably been the hardest thing i have received in life from my childhood til now . Somedays i could die for someone and other days i could wish that person isn’t in my life . I do look back and know not many people are a given for me. and i have to be thankful even if days are rough that atleast I’m still accepted in ways i believe i won’t be accepted by anyone else. It’s been hard .

Adventure