Counting 25

How can you be certain what is the right thing for you? Do you ask yourself what is wrong? Do you find something missing in your life that you need a change?

I'm most likely a prude when it comes to relationships. One glaring thing missing from the 25 years of my life is that I have never been intimate with someone. I have never been committed to anyone nor have I declared my relationship status in Facebook anything but 'single'. Sometimes I just don't even bother displaying it (that includes my sexual preference).

It's a serious problem that I have and something that I have not bothered to look into until recently. I've been busy being too self-conscious about my life, and how I have been too focused with my career that intimacy became an afterthought. I'm not asexual or just not interested (for I am a typical horny guy), I'm just afraid to be with someone.

That's the truth about myself that I have never been honest about all these years. Growing up you learn the things you regret and things you wish you can still do before its not too late. This is what I need to change.

Being Canadian means you would have to experience Thanksgiving in the beginning of October. Although our neighbors from the south may think that we have an odd time of celebrating Thankfulness, all is normal here in the Great White North!

So Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that I usually let pass. I'm not big on family traditional gatherings and overrated feasts (that's a lie who wouldn't want Thanksgiving dinner!?). However, I came from a dysfunctional semi-normal family who just don't practice traditions that often. Sometimes I'm just too busy at work and school that I forget to come home and visit for the holidays.

This year was an exception though. I guess it's because everyone is just getting older that you are starting to realize that you shouldn't take things for granted. It's the realization of the reality of life hitting you in the face. My dear grandma died last year and there is no single moment since then that I wish I could have spent another Thanksgiving or holiday with her.

Is this maturity? I hope so. I hope I am learning something here. Because even though today there was no turkey waiting for me, just the simple moment that I am with my family is a holiday worth taking. I am thankful for that.

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

I would rather not divulge my real identity nor share anything else that would compromise my future. I created this blog as an outlet of what's going on in my inner nook and cranny. I guess the few things I can share is that Richard is my middle name and I'm 25 years old. 

25 is a good number eh? It's a quarter of a whole. It is the prime age for young adulthood.

According to good ol' wiki:

25 is the smallest aspiring number — a composite non-sociable number whose aliquot sequence does not terminate.

Now I'm not a mathematician but 25 being an aspiring number just mirrors what my life seems to be right now. I aspire to be something more yet I'm just not there. Isn't that everyone else's dilemma at this stage of their life?

This is my blog to connect and communicate with what I really feel. I have so many things happening in real life that I want to post my alter ego's true emotions without worrying my reserved self. Yes I will write this posts while listening to whatever is in the top 50 of pitchfork (it just sets the mood). This is me speaking my mind.