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50 starters

« sign my birth certificate! »

« my bed is made of scorpions. »

« i will light this bitch up right now. »

« am i doing this right? it’s my first day on the job. »

« you have the chaos emerald!  »

« gimme that shit right now or i’m gonna rip it off you my goddamn self. »

« you can’t kill anybody! especially not me! »

« go read a book or something. see ya, idiot! »

« we always miss the ice cream ship! »

« how do you think i get here? i floated down on my giant battle bus! »

« [villainous laugh, fading into a violent coughing fit] »

« i can, uhm, kick your ass? right now? »

« here, come to my house. come on let’s go! to my house! »

« i just always want to sleep, you know? i’m tired all the time. i hate it. ‘cause when i try to go to sleep i CAN’T. »

« hey, gamers. were you talking about fortnite? »

« welcome to my house. as you can see, i’ve knocked over many chairs. »

« i’d like to be in the friendzone. i’d like friends! »

« that just makes you a beta cuck. »

« we’re gonna combine all the battle royales and make a battle royale better than fortnite ever was! »

« sorry, i thought i heard a cat. »

« this is the worst. this is the actual worst.  »

« why don’t you tell me your incredibly complicated backstory in an interesting long-winded monologue? »

« i’m gonna pluck you up, melt you down and make a fucking necklace! »

« i can never stop thinking. sends me to a fit. »

« … yep, i can kill ya. »

« go on, don’t you support gay rights? »

« what planet am i on? what’s today? my braincell: destroyed. my wig is gone. »

« i told you not to invite your asshole friends over! »

« let me help you! don’t do this all by yourself! »

« did we do that together? was that a gay thing? »

« i think i’m starting to hallucinate. »

« my mom’s getting back in like 20 minutes, dude. you have to finish this. »

« i leave for five minutes and this happens?! »

« i’ve been told how to think about the ocean when i’m stressed, and i’m looking at that, and i’m real stressed. »

« that’s ok baby, i know you’re lost without me. be sure to never leave my side again, ok? »

« how many times are you gonna run? i’ve captured you 17 different times! »

« if someone hacked into my fortnite account, i’m going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole. »

« count how many sand is in here. »

« you silly feeble-minded little gay. »

« oh god! i was NOT expecting the explosion! »

« fuck you for making me go through this! you suck, i can’t believe i used to date you. you used to be a cool dude! »

« you know what? you’re a twink. »

« i’m almost proud of you. »

« oh my god. oh my god are you ok? holy shit. i don’t think i should pull it out. i think if i pull it out you’ll bleed out. oh my god. oh my god. »

« now, this isn’t the diss that i wanted. shit, goddamn. this is fucking ridiculous. fucking shit. »

« you ready? you ready to go? you wanna leave this fucking mortal plane? »

« i understand. the friendzone is hard to deal with. »

« the flame within you shines brighter than any xbox 360 controller. »

« what does a ghost say? what does the ghost say? »