h e a l i n g

I keep getting in trouble for referring to my spouse as 'my woman.' That's who she is to me--wanch ngatharam, and I'm pam nungantam, her man. Apparently that bit of paleo-misogyny loses something in translation for the metro middle-class people I'm attempting to mingle with lately, so I've had to alter my language and start saying 'my spouse.' The problem lies in the cultural baggage that comes with the possessive form in English grammar, and with the language of property law. In our Aboriginal communities, when people first meet you they will often ask, 'Who own you?' This doesn't signify a property relation--it is all about what groups, pairs and lands you belong to in your relationships, which are governed collectively. Belonging and ownership means something completely different from possession in our world. It means being in relation to family and community and place. Your belongings are not your property, but your connections. This worldview is not very compatible with the political economies, legal systems and marketplaces we must interact with to survive.