აისი @cosmotheist - Tumblr Blog

We come alone.

And in peace.

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unclemother

*walks into school* actually, no thanks *walks out*

cosmotheist

Me as a teacher

just-shower-thoughts

True confidence comes when you can own the things that bring you joy instead of feeling shame over the silly or naughty things. It’s okay if you love Barbie Girl and getting spanked.

spn-caps

writing-prompt-s

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

endreams-s

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

honeypressed

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

moonreflectioninthefragglepond

A++ addition

tetsuskitten

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

tigerliliesandcherryblossoms

I LOVE THIS

vmohlere

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

laziestofthedreamers

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

pamgkrthwrites

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

ladyhavilliard

…perfect

outerspacekake

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

yourpotatotwiceremooved

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

serpant-of-heaven-deactivated20

Oh my god I would watch/read the hell out of this shit

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6tripx

What's the problem?

me

catchymemes

drxgonfly

Mount Rainier, Washington (by Protik Hossain)

t-11-a-blog

just-shower-thoughts

We have wrongly defined human intelligence by judging a kid if he/she is able to score 100% in a test simply by memorizing the entire book. Problem solving skill is more useful as computers aren’t able to do creative thinking.

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resqectable

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”

— Walter Bagehot

funnytwittertweets

quotefeeling

“But their eyes when they met spoke more fondly and kissed tenderly.”

— Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

dimensao7

niyarest

rb to change your fate

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

apricotleaf

take comfort in the fact that your future self is watching you right now, through memories. they now know that it really did get better, that you really did become happy. but they cannot tell you and that makes them laugh a little. funny how life works that way, huh? your future self is forever with you; but all they can do is watch.

everythingfoxes

foxpost-generator

it fucken WIMDY

ourspecial

ever since i first saw this post, “it fucken WIMDY” is easily one of the top ten most commonly used phrases in my household.

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