Zoey ♡

Example: I downloaded Friday the 13th because it’s free on psn. I dunno how to play, so I just enter quick play and I’m matched with 3-4 kids on mic. Immediately on mic they’re shitty and disparaging to each other. They laugh at each others deaths, they actively work against team mates and self sabotage, they call each other “fags”, etc. From the sounds of the voices they cannot be older than 13-14.

I put on my mic and just decide I ain’t havin it. I am nice. I thank them for barricading doors or leaving me items. When they break free from Jason’s grasp I say “good job!” or I try to help them. One kid survived for most of the match by himself. When he dies, I tell him he did a fantastic job.

The mood shift is practically INSTANT. These kids almost immediately stop being dick heads. They start encouraging each other and being kind. After the match all of them try to friend request me. Which should tell you a couple of things:

A) kids want to be kind, and they want to have a nice time playing games. But encounters with adults like me or so rare that they’ve trained themselves to instantly put on a toxic, shitty, defensive veneer when encountering any new person online. It’s literally just THAT EASY to not groom a horrible gaming community, it’s just that NO ONE does it.

B) the speed of which they all tried to friend me was cute, but paints for me such a sad picture? Like these kids are SO desperate to find people to play with who aren’t crappy jerks. They played with me for 10 minutes TOPS and all instantly tried to reach out to me.

Now here’s the thing. Most of these boys, my brother included, have ADD/ADHD. About a week into the project all they had in their shared world was chaos. Somebody filled the place with tnt and lit it up. Holes everywhere. Whenever one would attempt to try and build something (mostly wood huts and not the actual project) it would be destroyed within minutes as the boys began to insult each other heavily and complain that the design was ugly.

I brought my own ipad with me and decided to sit with the boys while they continued their reign of terror. I joined the world and built a hallway out of brick at the very center of this war zone. Immediately one of them tried to destroy it under the impression that “it looks bad”.

“Well, what should I make it out of?”

“Diamond.”

The ten year old mind is a mystery to me…

Anyway, then I showed him some pictures similar to these:

I reasoned that it would be easier to sway this kid toward another pretty block than trying to get him to stick to the materials of the time, so I asked him if he would like to help me replace my brick design with quartz (eh, it’s white).

Bam! One of the ten year old anarchists is dutifully building me a glittering gem hallway for our insanely rich monks.

The other three are off somewhere still yelling at each other and setting off explosives, but we have something built. Much to my surprise the kid asked if he could build the church next because he “wanted to build the most important part”.

Here’s where I learned something important. I don’t have ADD or ADHD but as I said before my brother does. When he gets fixated on something, he’s really gets into it. Once a few minutes had passed and this kid already had four walls up I decided to grid up the entire mission. One gets the church, one gets the farm, etc.

After playing the game with them for an hour, I had a pretty good idea of where each kid should go.

Church kid, I found, was very particular about materials and shape(hence his hangup over the brick). I gave him free reign over the outer walls of the mission and showed him the reference pictures to get him started.

My brother liked the farms most (he was building dirt domes over the cows don’t ask me how I made this connection it just worked, okay), so he was in charge of building pens for the animals.

Another kid was, at first glance, very loud and bossy when it came to decorating (constantly said we were making chairs wrong). Turns out he likes interior design, like putting benches and beds in the little rooms, so his bossiness was just frustration with my brother’s artistic sense I guess.

Another was very good with placing trees and plants around the exterior (I guessed this because he covered the place in a ridiculous amount of trees and I asked him if he would like to know where they are supposed to go). He got to make a vineyard for us and organized how the crops should go.

So how did it turn out?

Actually very nice!!

So what did we learn? Kids actually like to play games and be praised for their creativity and intuition. If I had just told them to stop messing around rather than direct their attention to areas within their interests, they never would have gotten anything done.

After an hour of gaming they:

Mirrored my language; “thank you!”, “which part are you working on?”, “I like this block.”

Realized each other’s strengths; “hey [kid name] can you help me with the roof?” “How do you make the big trees [kid name]?”

Were able to articulate exactly what they did or didn’t like without using force; “that looks good!”, “how about we put it there?”, “I don’t like that block, how about this one?”

「寝ている姉のおっぱいでハンドスピナーを回す弟（2枚）」 by 開栓注意 | Twitter

Idk what happened there but i got real busy doing annoying real life things

"A child can not consent to life changing surgery."

That's true, children can't - and honestly shouldn't be able to - consent to a lot of things. However, medical consent is a very different beast, this consent is gotten from their legal guardian, not the child.

Putting aside that while surgery for a trans minor does happen it is extremely rare, why is this standard only applied trans children and their medical care?

Do you think the 3200 cigender girls ages 13 to 19 who received a breast enhancement in 2020 gave the proper consent? Do you believe the 4700 cis girls in the same age group and time who received breast reduction in 2020 should be barred from that treatment? Why is 230 trans kids receiving a gender affirming surgery not okay, but the others are?

Can a minor consent to any surgery at all? Like, say, knee surgery which has a much higher regret rate than Gender Affirming surgery?

"Puberty Blockers and Hormone Replacement Therapy can have lifelong medical effects!"

So can any medication.

Should children be able to receive chemo? That has lifelong effects. Pain killers, those can be addictive and put your body, especially a child's body, under extreme stress, should children receive that care? Should a child receive psychiatric medication, those absolutely have side effects that could be long lasting? Tylenol can cause stomach bleeds that can have life long effects, should they receive that medication?

I'm allergic to penicillin, does that mean penicillin should be pulled from the shelves? It saves millions of people's lives, but it could kill me, so why would you legislate access away from the millions to accommodate the exception, me?

"What about detransitioners? What if they regret it? What if they realize they haven't

It's terrible that sometimes this happens. It is extraordinarily rare in an already small population, but it does happen. We should love and respect and give support to detransitioners, they have gone through medical trauma and a personal journey that few can relate to. It is awful they have to deal with the potential affects of treatment that they later regreted.

But trans people who went through the wrong puberty also experience these exact issues. Trans women who went through male puberty have deeper voices and all the same issues that a detransitioned cis woman who underwent HRT. And adult trans women who underwent male puberty had no say in whether they went through that, while a detransitioners at least had the opportunity to make a choice. Why do you have sympathy for one of those kinds of women and not the other?