Jemma narrows her eyes, listening to him speak. His hesitations, stuttering, makes her think it has to do with him being hurt. He’s about to cry, over her, and that touches her. Her feelings are still very far away from her, she can’t decide by herself how to react after all, she’s always been told; but even this way, she can recognize that she’s not neutral to it, that she means something in his life and that matters. “Well, I’m not surprised they did. If you were close to me, they wouldn’t tell you they are letting me go away, not if they think I’m expendable and they might not fight to get me back.” That at least made perfect sense to her, lies and secrets.  

“It’s alright if you want to cry. You are human,” she offers quietly. It’s supposed to be a relief, from what she knows. We were best friends, he had said. Maybe. “Yes. You can show me what you want,” she answers then, all the while thinking about the fact that he’s suggesting he’ll fight his team to keep her from getting imprisoned again. 

“  no  one....  they  don’t  think  that.  “  fitz  presses  his  lips  together,  clenching  his  fist  together  to  stop  it  from  shaking  so  much.  he  didn’t  want   to  seem  weak,  not  now.  not  when  she  needed  him.  even  if  she  hadn’t  been  there  for  him,  he  would  be  there  for  her.  “  you  aren’t.  expendable.  “  he  had  been  lost  without  jemma.  he  knew  it  was  the  same  for  them.  at  least  he  thought  it  was.  even  with  their  new  friends,  it  would  never  replace  how  vital  she  was  to  their  team.  “  i  don’t  want  to.  “  he  furrowed  his  eyebrows  at  her,  a  few  tears  escaping,  “  i  want  to.....  be  strong.  “  for  you.  he  can’t  say  it,  instead  lifting  his  phone  out  of  his  pocket.  he  had  upgraded  the  memory  &  battery  on  all  of  them.  there  were  hundreds  of  moments  saved  on  it.  things  him  &  jemma  had  done,  places  they  had  seen.  

Idk why im just now realizing this was here but ily kat and i miss you so so much!! 

Out of all the surprises that had come from the anomaly, Kara was overjoyed (after the initial shock that she had lost so much time, so many things and people…) to discover that there was something good that had happened while she was away: that something good being the infant that she was holding so carefully in her arms, and the official reunion of her parents. She’d always known that Fitz and Simmons would get together, everyone had — she’d just never imagined that she would miss out on it. “I  — “ didn’t ask for what happened, but i’m surprised to find that you came all this way, just hearing that I had returned. She doesn’t say it, she can’t, not when she’s so grateful just to see his face again. She’s hardly had time to register what had happened to SHIELD, and the events that surrounded its fall, but she can see the consequences of those events written plainly across her best friend’s face: and when he lays his head down onto her shoulder, her head leans against it in support. In reciprocation of his words: that what had happened to him, he also did not deserve. Except, of course, for the quietly babbling baby with curiously curled fingers around a chunk of Kara’s hair. “It’s weird knowing that I lost so much time, when just the other day I was…I was with you all. You and Jemma, still completely ignoring your feelings for each other….Skye  — Daisy,” she corrects herself, remembering when Fitz had updated her. “I don’t even have…anywhere to go, I can’t even offer you money for the sushi, I mean what am…I clearly don’t have a job anymore, since…” another pause as she takes a breath, looking down at Fitz’s daughter. “But I have you. All of you…”

fitz   knew  how  weird  it  was  for  him,  seeing  kara  in  the  flesh.  after  going  to  a  fake  grave  site  for  two  years,  holding  his  wife  tight  against  his  side,  feeling  nothing.  it  hadn’t  been  because  he  didn’t  miss  her,  he  just  knew  that  she  wasn’t  actually  there.  it  had  been  a  hole  in  the  ground  for  their  team  to  throw  their  grief  at.  he  couldn’t  imagine  how  weird  it  was  for  her,  as  if  no  time  went  by  at  all.  to  her  they  had  been  together  only  days  ago.  he  could  remember  the  last  time  he  saw  her,  hugging  her  as  she  left  for  her  leave.  telling  her  to  have  a  safe  flight.  he  had  sent  her  a  meme  with  a  monkey  after  she  had  boarded.  

she  looked  just  like  she  had  five  years  ago.  was  she  technically  younger  than  him  now  ??  how  did  that  work  ??  he  didn’t  understand  it.  time  was  a  funny  thing.  “  i  wish  i  could  explain  it  all.  “  he  murmured,  sighing.  he  reached  over  to  hold  his  infant’s  small  foot  in  his  hand,  smiling  softly.  “  don’t.  you  do.  you  have  a  home  with  us,  if  you  want  it.  we’ll  figure  it  all  out,  i  promise.  “  it  probably  wasn’t  a  promise  he  should  have  made.  he  didn’t  know  if  he  could  keep  it.  that  was  field  agent  day  one  stuff,  not  that  he  had  ever  actually  passed  his  field  assessments.  

     “   if   i   couldn’t   watch   it,   it   wasn’t   interesting!   that’s   just   obvious!   besides,   i   wasn’t   going   to   SAY   anything   about   it.   because   i’m   considerate   of   your   choices   when   it’s   your   turn   to   pick.   ”   arms   crossed   over   her   chest   defensively   as   he   stood.   “   i   resent   that   accusation.   i   can   appreciate   sentiment,   fitz!   ”   she   shook   her   head   in   disapproval,   but   she   knew   the   disagreement   would   be   forgotten   within   the   next   few   minutes.   “   what   do   you   want   for   dinner?   ”

                                               she   watches   as   the   lab   tech   leaves   ,   herself   surprised   by   the   outburst   .   eyes   trail   the   tech   ,   then   goes   back   to   fitz   ,   silent   as   she   stands   by   the   station   until   he   acknowledges   her   .    “     hey   ,   maybe   he   is   .   i   haven’t   worked   with   him   yet   ,   so   i   don’t   know   .     ———-   are   you   doing   alright   ?     ”

“And you thrive when watching me be a mean boss to others, and with thrive I mean you have very inappropriate thoughts about it,” she retorted mercilessly, giving him the same smile she gave idiots like Nathanson when she knew she had better cards in her hands. 

“I got it. I’m up for another promotion, remember?” she reminded him, this time in a particularly uncaring tone - since coming from Mace it meant nothing beside being another step forward in her plan. “Although your help at the lab is beyond enough, believe it or not. I can’t deal with the new recruits when I’m too stressed to play nice. And I don’t mean to come off as insensitive but I wish Coulson had given up already. He’s just making it harder for me to keep covering his missteps and I can’t even tell him I’m doing that in the first place. Daisy won’t come back until she wants to come back, if he wants to help her he should worry about getting rid of Watchdogs so she doesn’t has to fight them all on her own. But the higher I get, the more I can take care of that problem. Even if it means sucking it up to a naive idiot until I’m the one in control of everything—Am I being creepy again?” she had taken the habit of asking Fitz when she wasn’t sure. Sometimes she did sound like a villain and she had given her loving boyfriend the duty of pointing that out.

fitz’s  eyes  widen  at  her  clear  call  out,  his  face  &   ears  turning  red  as   she  spoke.  he  took  a  sip  of  his  pop  to  give  himself  a  few  moments  to  think  of  a  reply  that  wouldn’t  give  up  the  fact  that  he  was  absolutely  gone  for  her.  yes,  maybe  there  was  a  part  of  him  that  loved  to  watch  her  take  charge,  obliterate  men  with  her  words  &  power.  she  wouldn’t  want  someone  intimidated  by  her  mind,  they  both  knew  that.  he  cleared  his  throat,  stuffing  some  more  chicken  in  his  mouth,  listening  to  her  talk  about  work  again.  give  him  a  moment  to  cool  down.  the  thought  of  mace  made  it  easy  enough.  what  a  wanker.  

“  who  would’ve  thought  that  i’d  be  the  teacher.  “  fitz  could  easily  say  that  he  wasn’t  the  best  at  it.  his  patience  for  anyone  but  jemma  was  lacking  to  say  the  least.  “  you  know  it’s  hard  on  him.  she’s  like  his  uh......  he’s  like  her  father.  “  it  was  difficult  on  all  of  them,  daisy  being  gone,  but  he  knew  mack  &  coulson  were  taking  it  especially  hard.  but  jemma  was  right.  they  were  making  it  harder  for  her  to  do  her  job.  “  not  everyone  can  tell  when  you’re  playing  for  both  teams,  jem.  “  he  reminded  her,  raising  his  brows.  he  knew  that  some  of  them  looked  at  her  rising  rank  as  a  betrayal  to  what  their  team  fought  for.  he  had  too,  in  the  beginning.  it  took  too  long  for  him  to  realize  that  jemma  was  doing  it  for  them.  

Jemma had had no idea to know if she had spent her whole life this way, just hiding the other side of her, she had no idea if there had been a virus involved making it more real than it had ever been. But the way he had said it, he truly believed this was proof. It was interesting, at least, to imagine a life in which she had not been known to be a weapon, and the change into it had been recent and something she had only told this man.  “I was told I was kept here to be experimented on, so SHIELD could use me against Hydra,” she offered quietly, “Which is also why I was the one who got to go undercover, because they thought I’d be able to fight my way out if needed… Except I was abandoned there when your director had to choose between me and another, and back then I didn’t have enough training not to be knocked out. Once was enough. But they let me live, and they gave me the chance to have a purpose again…” she looked away, searching for Bobbi who had clearly been looking at them and was now busying herself with a tablet, “And now I have no one to tell me what I want to do or what to feel… so I suppose it doesn’t really matter if what you said is true or maybe you were my personal torturer, as long as I’m finally given a purpose again…” Even if it might be death or to be a prisoner again.

Eyes went back to him, gradually turning yellow: “And they know what I am now, Leopold. You don’t need to lower your voice. I’ve killed enough people with my real face for Coulson to know. If we really were best friends, you may get to ask for permission to visit me in whatever cell they put me.”

“  that’s  not  true  !!  “  Fitz  exclaimed,  louder  than  he wanted  to  be.  But,  she  had  to  know  they  would  never  do  that,  didn’t  she  ??  no,  she  doesn’t.  he  looks  away,  teeth  encasing  his  bottom  lip.  “  you  wanted  to  go  undercover,  jemma.  “  this  part  hurt  to  talk  about,  the  part  where  he  had  to  talk  about  him  leaving  her.  “  i   don’t  um......  i  don’t  know  the  whole  story.  they  told  me  you  were  visiting  your  mum  &  dad.  “  he  confessed,  his  good  hand  playing  with  a  frayed  part  of  his  cardigan  sleeve,  “  there  was  an  accident.  a  bad  one.  we  were  both  hurt.  you  left.  “  he  looked  away,  tears  swimming  in  his  eyes.  she  really  didn’t  remember  anything.  he  meet’s  bobbi’s  eyes  &  he  can  see  the  pity  there.  it  makes  him  turn  away.  he  can’t  deal  with  their  pity  anymore.  

Jemma tilted her head, studying the bloke. She didn’t have friends. She couldn’t have friends, she could have teammates, maybe, but given that she wasn’t even human it was already hard to believe she had ever been a member of SHIELD, or at least loyal to it and regarded as more than a weapon there. Thinking she had ‘best friends’ was a stretch.  At this point both Morse’s version of Bakshi’s version made little sense. “I’m sorry, but… I have no memory of my life besides working with Whitehall and Bakshi. And I’ve been told that I was part of a SHIELD team here, that my family is here, but I don’t remember it.” 

“Morse also claims I was captured while undercover and brainwashed… Do you have any proof we knew each other? Besides you knowing my name, and I’m guessing what I am now that it’s public knowledge?” And their leader had also said that he didn’t know about her alien side before sending her undercover. It all seemed so unbelievably innocent of them to actually want to help.