i am the cosmos

our beloved matt passed away a few days ago. we went to visit what we knew was a hollowed out shop to pay our respects, we left a letter, a candle, & a voicemail just so he knows.

matt was apart of my life that changed the course of me forever and perhaps the best thing about this all is how many people have come out and called to say they love him. the lady at the front desk said they’ve been getting hundreds of calls about him. he is loved, he is so loved. so loved.

hark ! we have arrived in zapata ! we have plenty of records, there’s the set-up, & we’ve acquired alottuv wild flowers on our brief walk

this is the record shop we’ve been spending hours at lately, it feels so time encapsulated. matt is brilliant. the receipt in this magazine is for a legendary record shop that closed in the early 2000’s that everyone & their mother went to. we were reading a lot about it today.

general updates on life photos only somewhat related: honey visited for new years, marcos couldn’t stay he went away somewhere i can’t remember, new year’s night i find out via facebook status that allie & dad have broken up. that’s a five year relationship down the drain for apparently no reason & we all point fingers at dad. the details are still muddy. he’s gotta move outtuv allie’s place so he’s moving back in with his mother. marcos started going to school regularly, we got the car & started aimlessly driving letting time completely escape us without a trace & are always mildly frustrated about it. i seem to be enduring some kind of season depression, or maybe just a rough patch in my emotions as every day for a week & a half or so (i don’t know anything about the passing of time) just waking up is an uphill battle. the sadness takes a very physical form in my chest, weighing it down like a lead block within. there’s nothing i can do to escape it, so iv retreated hesitantly into shoegaze again for the first time in a very very long time.

this day we fucked around brackenridge & i believe we also found the cat colony here, on this day. i don’t have photos right now but essentially it was a bamboo infested area by the side of the mini train’s tunnel where someone had set up bowls of cat food & water for the strays that lived there. we were listening to scott walker & overall loving the weather.