cosmo fairee

If Hudson had to pick a a favorite teacher this dude would be number one. He may not have a classroom or even a class but Hudson did learn plenty from Comso. "Okay, another question. Food this time, what gives cheese that funky taste? Is it the milk? Whatever else is mixed in?"

“Ooo, good question.” Cosmo agreed, popping another yogurt covered raisin into his mouth. “It’s mainly bacteria and germs. They develop as it ages, and that’s why really flavorful cheese is maaaaad expensive. New cheese tastes salty, and no one wants salty cheese.” He explained, nodding his head with some finality to that specific point. Afterwards, however, he furrowed his eyebrows and glanced back at Hudson. “But if you’re putting that salty cheese on salty crackers, would you even know?” Sounded like a ‘tree falling in a forest’ conundrum to him... He made a mental note to tell Wanda they could only buy saltless crackers now, suddenly needing to be certain he was eating ripe cheese.

@chippingtoniii​

Wanda wanted to be upset with her husband but when he smiled at her like that, well, she just couldn’t be. He made her feel like the moon and the stars lighting the night sky. Cosmo may have been a bit chaotic but Wanda had always needed him in her life. He not only kept things interesting but he really was a great husband. She couldn’t have fathomed a day spent without that smile. Wanda almost forgot to leave the scowl on her face when he smiled at her like that. She leveled her gaze at her husband for just a moment before letting the corners of her lips tilt up slightly. “Do I even want to know how much you spent on them?” Wanda had never purchased fortune cookies in bulk before and her mind immediately jumped to the hundreds. It was a sweet thing her husband was doing but, truly, if he did kind things like this every weekend then they soon wouldn’t have a house to live in. Before she could give a lecture, Cosmo handed her a fortune cookie. Taking it from his hands, the woman looked down at the cookie with a skeptical gaze. “You know these fortunes are autogenerated right? There’s no way it actually predicts the future.” Still, she unwrapped the cookie. After breaking it in half and holding out the free half to her husband for him to eat, she pulled out the fortune inside. Wanda’s eyebrows knit together. “Two is whats known but three makes a home.” Wanda handed the fortune over to her husband and gave a shake of her head. “Sounds more like its trying to give me advice. Seriously, love, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

There was a special place in Cosmo’s heart for the way Wanda couldn’t stay mad at him. He would never take advantage of it, of course, but knowing that their love was strong enough to overlook the little things was more than he could have ever expected in his life. To think he’d spent the first fifteen years of his life without knowing her felt incomprehensible. That’s why, at her question, he tucked his lips back into a more serious line. “More than one escape room ticket, but less than two.” Though he said it, it only sunk in after that he could have instead bought them tickets to an escape room. Wanda would like one with logic puzzles, and he’d like one with a lot of cool things... Maybe they could find a spaceship one? Oo, or an Atlantis one? He didn’t know how the latter would work, but he’d be ecstatic to escape the lost city. Returning back to the moment, he watched her nimble fingers open the cookie and offer half out to him. Wordlessly he popped the piece in his mouth, simultaneously watching her as though it was popcorn at a movie theater. His eyebrows knit together in confusion at the fortune, no less furrowed after having it handed to him. He analyzed the slip for any hidden words that would spring from the page, but after a moment sufficed to shove it in his pocket for later thought. “Maybe Coronians need advice rather than fortune. I’m just here to supply them with it. And to avoid shoveling the sidewalk.” Which, in his mind, was fair. Cosmo lifted his gloved hands to her waist, pulling her close enough that he could slide his arms around her waist, enveloping her upper body with his. “Besides, I’ve got my love to keep me warm.” The words were sung in his best Dean Martin impression which, admittedly, wasn’t too impressive. They still brought a grin to his face, deepened as her familiar scent flooded his senses.

As Wanda was out shopping, she realized something major: her husband was in the possession of her credit card. They only had one and Wanda was typically the one in control of it but he had needed it for some silly reason and she’d decided to just let him go to town. It was the holidays, after all. But, now, as she was trying to shop for the man in question, she was without finances. When she went home, however, her husband wasn’t there. Wanda’s first thought was not that he could be having an affair - the pair of them were too loyal to each other for that - but rather he must be somewhere doing something… Cosmo like. Except where could he have been?Wanda decided to start at the center of town and work outward. Thankfully, she got it on the first try and wound up at the city center. Seeing his car, Wanda parked her own nearby but not too close. She was still allowed to have a little fun in their ‘old age.’ She watched him with the Halloween bowl and made a mental note to never trust her husband to return something again. Part of her mind started working on where they were going to store it in their house but she caught herself. Sneaking up around the side of the car, she jumped into sight. “Cosmo!” And then she noticed what was inside the bowl. “Did you…. did you buy…. hundreds of fortune cookies?” 

To Cosmo’s surprise, the person walking by was apparently either not in the mood for a fortune or didn’t take food from strangers (both of which were beyond his comprehension). Perhaps they would have been a bit kinder if they’d found out they had something wonderful to look forward to, but the world would never know. He didn’t have more than a minute to wallow for them, however, when the love of his life popped out from behind his car. “Wanda!” He responded instinctively, face splitting into a wide grin. It was his natural reaction to her presence, tied strongly to the short amount of time it took him to miss it, and not even her questioning of his motives could lessen his excitement. “I did! Three hundred, to be exact.” The words were said with a level of pride that could only be founded in blissful ignorance. Cosmo glanced down at the cookie still in his hand, moments after offering it out to his wife. “May the gods and goddesses, above and below, bless you and your family with a happy and healthy new year!” He exclaimed, the simple farewell he’d prepared to bode cookie-takers on their ways finding its first (imperfect) usage. “Our fate lies in your hands now.”

“Cosmo… people are looking.” Wanda buried her face in his neck as the two of them danced. Wanda had absolutely no moves and this was just about the only thing she was incredibly shy over. Her horrible, horrible moves. Maybe, though, by clutching onto her husband she’d be able to hide just how embarrassing she was.

@cosmofairee​

Cosmo wrapped his arms tighter around Wanda’s waist, loving the excuse to hold her close. She’d never been comfortable dancing in front of others, be it at their prom or their wedding, meaning it was only a matter of time before this happened. Even so, there was something comfortingly familiar about how she always tried to hide herself into him, leaving him with a warm feeling in his chest. “Let them!” He responded without thought, looking around and grinning at anyone who bothered to look back. They weren’t the center of attention by any means, but letting her know that would be a shame. “They’re just wondering how much I had to pay you to come with me.”

“No. No whining. I draw the line at dolphin riding. It’s done. No.” Wanda said firmly. That’s what he needed. If she cracked then nothing would get done. No rules would be followed. Even if Wanda wanted to, even when he gave her that cute ass pouty face, she had to say no. “Oh my god.” The woman shook her head. Sometimes she thought she’d finally gotten the hang of Cosmo’s mind and then he uttered things like this. Would their daughter have a pig nose? After placing a hand to her forehead, to gather her thoughts, Wanda replied with a soft, “No. No she will not have a pig nose.” It worried her that Cosmo might not understand how genes worked. “She’ll have the shape of one of our noses. And she will have either green or brown eyes. She’ll have brown hair, for sure. All it will be our dominant genes that our daughter gets.” Wanda said with a small smile. “She’ll be a perfect blend of both us.” The woman could imagine their child now. Loud, stubborn, a big personality in a small body. It made her excited for the future. It made her excited for their future. Wanda squeezed Cosmo’s hand and continued to walk towards the churro stand. The smell had finally caught up to her and the woman decided it was best to indulge herself. It was Halloween, after all. And, as Cosmo said, both of them brushed their teeth. “Personally, I’d like the chocolatey caramel one.” Wanda snorted a little at the white icing comment, “And why would you know what those sort of stains look like, hmm?”

After letting out a defeated whimper, Cosmo accepted his defeat. He was defenseless (and a little turned on) whenever she turned into hot-mama-rule-enforcer, and there was a good chance she knew it. Was that why people said you date people who remind you of your parents? Hopefully not. He couldn’t help but to frown at the information that their child would not come with the pre-destined facial feature, feeling as though the movie lied to him. “She’ll be cute still, and I’m sure of it, but I wouldn’t be mad if she had both of our noses. You know, side by side... Combined... Flattened in the front... Two nostrils... I wouldn’t mind if she had a pig nose.” In fact, maybe he actually wanted her to have one now. A therapist would probably make something of that, but he'd have to settle for Wanda in the mean time. At least she always was praised for being good at her job. Should talking about their future kids be a weird subject? They’d never addressed it at length, but Cosmo hadn’t even been fazed when she mentioned it so directly. Maybe they’d have to talk about it later, with a big bowl of the good candy and some hard apple cider. He smiled widely as she referenced the stains, immediately looking at her with raised eyebrows. “You remember high school, don’t you? Me sneaking in at night so your parents didn’t know, you not on the no-baby pills, me always leaving shirtless? These things are all connected, Fairee.” If he still got a bit too happy after referring to her with his last name? So be it.

She walked over, seeing the man looking like he’d passed out in the pile. “Are you dead?” Marceline started. He didn’t immediately respond. Well, maybe he was a drunk who had done too much day drinking. Either way, she started to reach for his pocket just to see what was in his wallet when suddenly his eyes opened. Marcy jumped back quickly, and then heard his shouts. She took a few breaths to settle herself before cupping a hand around her mouth. “I thought you were dead,” she said. “Or at least incapacitated.”

Dead? Incapacitated? No, Cosmo was just enjoying the fruit of hard labor. “I am alive and still able to move my whole body! Aside from the little toe on my left foot, but I’m sure you know how dangerous bowling can be.” Really, he was fortunate to only lose motion in one of his toes from the incident. Wanda had nearly killed him when she found out... Imagine if she had a foot fetish. “Random, yet totally not random and completely relevant question: are you interested in the curative powers of laying in a leaf pile?”

“Riding dolphins is incredibly dangerous not to mention that dolphins may not actually liked to be ridden as if they were pets. Our children are going to respect boundaries.” Wanda smiled slightly, “And we are not naming our child Philipa if it’s a girl. I’m still hesitant about Philip for a boy but Philipa? No. I’ll settle for Pippa or Penelope but not Philipa. Besides, what if our child is nonconforming? We shouldn’t just name them Philip because you really love that name. And I don’t want our child to think that we named them after a nickel. I don’t care how lucky he is.” Wanda had gotten over the Philip the Nickel train long ago. She’d accepted that Cosmo would never get rid of that nickel. It was probably the one thing he loved more than her. If she had to compete with a nickel, well, Wanda would be just fine with that. She could definitely be the jealous sort, though, so when it came to other people coming onto her husband… Wanda wasn’t as cool with it. The woman didn’t think she’d ever have to worry about losing Cosmo, though. There was never a day she doubted his love for her. Like now for instance. Wanda looked around as if Cosmo were embarrassing her but a small blush started to spread over her cheeks. She was flattered and he probably knew it too. “Oh we’re going to make adorable children, there’s no doubt about it.” Wanda laughed as he came even closer. When his arms wrapped around her, the woman let her head fall against his chest as she shook it from side to side. “You’re such a dork.” But he was her dork. Wanda was glad to see him lift the skeleton into his arms. She’d have to carry it eventually but at least he’d take the bulk of the weight for now. “I’m in the mood for something sweet… think they’re selling any churros around here?”

“But Wandaaa...” Cosmo whined, frowning at the realization he apparently wouldn’t be taking their future children dolphin-riding. There were some things to rethink now. The idea of not naming a daughter Philipa was a double blow, but at least Wanda offered some alternatives. “Penelope’s the name of that girl in that movie with the pig nose, right? Does that mean, if we name our girl Penelope, she’d have a pig nose too?” A daughter was cool, but a daughter with a pig nose? Iconic. “Penelope it is! She can use her snout far and wide to sniff out the tastiest baked goods and avoid any men who don’t brush their teeth daily.” Two important things. He may have been a dork, but he was definitely her dork. Imagine if he’d married someone who forced him to grow up... No, she was his soulmate and he’d undeniably be utterly lost without her. If he left, he’d have to go back to his mom and listen to about 40 ‘I told you so’s’ while she made his favorite blue-bananarama pancakes, all after forcing him into his favorite Archduke Franz Ferdinand sweater and his fluffy We Are the World socks depicting every musician’s face who was on the original track... Wait, what were they talking about? Oh, right, churros. “How could they not?” And with that, Cosmo placed one hand on the back of his skele-child, the other reaching down to grab Wanda’s, and he began walking deeper into the festival with his chosen family. “What kind of dipping sauce are you thinking? The chocolatey one? Or the chocolatey caramel one? Oh, or the white icing one that looks inappropriate when it stains your shirt?”

Wanda watched her husband with a fondness in her gaze. Maybe it was the beauty of the fall festival but she was feeling extra appreciative for his silliness on that night. Sometimes it annoyed her but right now it was rather comedic. “I fear the day we have children. What if I suddenly become the fun parent and you become the strict one?” The woman tossed out with a small wink before turning back to the booth in front of her. Wanda and Cosmo hadn’t really talked about children in detail. Of course, Wanda wanted a family. She felt in her bones that she was destined to be a mother. But they had Timmy who was sort of their child and she hadn’t ever asked Cosmo if he really wanted kids. It just wasn’t something they’d thought about being that they had gotten married so young but as Wanda got older, the want for children of her own continued to grow. She didn’t know why but fear seemed to hold her back from talking to her husband about it. If he said no, what would she do? She would never just divorce him but was she willing to give up the dreams of a big family that she’d had since she was a child? Wanda wasn’t sure. The woman paid for the skeleton but then turned to face her husband, “Cosmo!” She snapped her fingers, “Come pick up your child. I mean it, I’m not carrying him around.”

Not thinking twice about her comment, Cosmo laughed loudly at the idea. “You? The fun parent? Our kids are going to think watching paint dry is the equivalent of riding dolphins through the Gulf of Mexico while singing Weird Al’s impending cover of ‘Old Town Road’. Well, at least poor Philip and Philipa will be smokin’ hot...” In reaction to his own final words, he picked up a stack of the pamphlets and spread them out, fanning Wanda with them with playful concern before gasping. “By George, It’s only making it hotter! I have feared this day, but I know what I must do!” Dropping the flimsy papers on the ground, he slowly stalked back over to her and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, pretending to sacrifice his body to smother her flames. “It burns so good,” he whispered weakly, and with that, his head fell reluctantly on hers as he accepted his fate. Fortunately however, with the angle his dead eyes were at, Cosmo could clearly see his ‘child’ lying on the table. Giving up the scheme, he pulled away and picked up the skeleton fireman style, the plastic bones dangling over his shoulder. “Where to now, hot mama?”