cosmic-stuff

their “generosity” was a contract with hidden terms to make sure you always owed them and to guilt trip you into doing something for them in return.

a reminder that if someone really loved you, their generosity should and would be genuine, in the sense that they’d never bring up what they did for you to remind and guilt trip you into doing something for them. all the things they’ve done for you, they would’ve done them because they loved you, not because they wanted you to owe them.

——————

- delete contacts you no longer speak to, old notes on phone, playlists you no longer listen to. 📱

- unsubscribe from podcasts, channels, music, remove apps & accounts that you no longer absorb. (replace these things with content the person you’re becoming would consume) 🎵🤍

- go through your wardrobe & create a donate, sell, & keep pile. don’t keep things you haven’t worn in months. before purchasing something, ask yourself if you’ll use it more than 5 times. for every item you bring in, 2-3 items should leave. 👚👙👟

- start adjusting your diet to fit your personal goals. remember that slow motion is better than no motion + discipline is necessary. don’t force yourself to get healthy / fit in one week this is a steady win - avoid burnout. writing your goals every week helps. ✍🏼🍳🍎🫐🥑

- practice detachment. i don’t mean from emotions & becoming ‘stoic’ but from materialistic objects, remove yourself from labels, become nothing so that you may become something. detach yourself from people that no longer serve you, stop dwelling on the past; there is only ‘right now’. detach yourself from the future, it is not promised & only creates anxious emotions. 🧠🫀🦶🏼

- learn to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. train yourself with breath work. I recommend pranayama, morning & night. I used to be anxious about anything that is ‘new’ until I started simply breathing properly & quieting my mind first thing when I wake up, I swear by it. 💆🏼‍♀️

- journal morning & night. track your mental + emotional patterns. write down why you feel a certain way & if you don’t know why, break it down instead of looking at the bigger picture. 📓

I could list more but I will end it here. There are levels to a reset. (lvl 1)

because the term gentle parenting already includes discipline and teaching your kid right from wrong. gentle parenting doesn’t mean you can’t tell your kid no. it means you can tell them no when they do something they shouldn’t, but instead of punishing or yelling at them, you’re explaining and giving them reasons why they can’t do that, you are helping them learn and encouraging them to be better. gentle parenting means you’re using reasons built on mutual respect instead of anger. because yes, no matter how young your child is, they deserve respect too.

I’m sorry but most of the times when someone says they’re a strict parent, what it means is that they give their child childhood trauma that’ll last a lifetime, whether or not they’re aware of it. especially parents who brag to other people about how strict they are and how they punished their children.

and I’m sorry but saying you have a short temper is never an excuse to be emotionally and/or physically abusive towards your kid either.

“I yelled at you because I have a short temper” then why am I the one suffering? if you can’t control your anger, then get help. work on it. do better. be better.

also… your child standing up for themself against you, when you’re being abusive to them, isn’t them being disrespectful towards you. it means they are defending themself because you wouldn’t do that for them and so they had to step in and be their own protector.

if you’re a parent and can defend and stand up for yourself when you feel like you need to, but at the same time punish your kid when they stand up for themself against you, then you are the problem.

I was that child and I’m gonna make it as simple as I can for any parent out there — because no kid deserves to go through what I went through — imagine yourself owning a dog. really. you can either

a.) beat that dog whenever they do something wrong and simply take your anger out on them until they’re fully submissive and are terrified of you

or

b.) train them with love and gentleness and earn their love and loyalty in return