“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”

All this stuff you’re managing. You’re not supposed to be managing it. You’re supposed to be feeling it. Grief, loss, pain. It is normal.  It’s not normal to you ‘cause you’ve never done it. Instead of feeling it, feeling the grief and the pain, you’ve shoved it all down. Instead of moving through the pain, you run from it. Instead of dealing with being hurt and alone and afraid that this horrible, empty feeling is all there is, I run from it. I run off. We do these things. We run off, and  we medicate. We do whatever it takes to cover it up and dull the sensation, but it’s not normal. We’re supposed to feel. We’re supposed to love and hate. And hurt and grieve and break and be destroyed and rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. That is human. That is humanity. That’s… That’s being alive. That’s the point. That’s the entire point. Don’t… don’t avoid it. Don’t… Extinguish it.

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

I loved you. After everything I’d been through you gave me the courage to put my heart on the line. Looking into your eyes, I found the strength  to keep going. Piece by piece you picked my up. And I thought  you hung the moon. How wrong I was. As time went on, you grew tired. Of what, I’m still not sure. All I know is  one day you were here and the next you were gone. My heart was broken, but you were fine. How could you just go? How could you just get up and leave after everything? Looking around  I realized I was alone. Did you ever really love me? Was what we had even real? You threw it away as if we never mattered, as if we never happened. And now, I’m sitting here wondering what I did wrong, wondering why I wasn’t good enough. Could I have done  something differently? Could I have changed your mind? I suppose I’ll never know, but one thing is for sure, you’ll always be the one who broke my heart.

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.