APPLES

i think we should just be able to use counterfeit money. like who cares

Hehe don't remember if I took my pill 😌

We're neutral towards your pussy. We could take it or leave it.

Spongebob episode where Squidward comes out as bisexual

lying is so funny. you just say shit that isn't true.

I’m ready to Marie Kondo this fucking body. This spine does not bring me joy

Everything is going to be alright ladies. It’s taking fucking forever but are we not here???? Is god not entertained???????

thank god Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton came together to make a PSA about the dangers of fake news

I found out a few days ago that I definitely do NOT like cilantro.

Just to make it clear, even though they are from the same plant, I do not knowingly have anything against coriander.

Millennial culture is having two wildly different conversations with the same person on two different apps at the exact same time