cari

Who knows

I’m gonna have to do two stories aren’t I

the bell jar (1963) by sylvia plath // sputnik sweetheart (1999) by haruki murakami // "i hear a star, i spoke to god (study 1)" by madeline hutchinson // digital print by bahira motaz shaheen // love is a laserquest from suck it and see (2011) by arctic monkeys

my mother & I - lucy dacus | matilda - harry styles | miss americana - netflix | I just wasn't made for these times - the beach boys | first love / late spring - mitski | tropic morning news - the national

When I grew up to be someone with the capability to be brash, defiant, stubborn and forceful, this didn’t suit anyone. I became too clever and too bright to the point I could see through them all and call them out on their bullshit, which people don’t tend to enjoy. It was liberating sure, but it was exhausting and led to many many many fights. My inherent need to protect my mother, the sweetest person, not similarly blessed with my levels of verbal self defence, led to some wild arguments. And then it all got too much, and I left. But the guilt of “dissenting”, of “dumping” them, weirdly still remains.

UPTOWN GIRL (Ashes to Ashes)

FLEABAG | 2.06