Cordelia Jane Greengrass

JOINING THE ORDER WAS NO EASY CHOICE. Julien had never been a fighter, unless you counted going after a fire-breathing dragon who was trying to protect her eggs a fight. He’d never been great with knowing the right time to react in battle when another person was on the other side of a wand. Still, he knew when to make a right choice; he knew when his wife needed to make that right choice. And, in the end, Julien would follow her until the end of time. 

He’d just put the wyrms to sleep when he heard Cordelia’s soft voice down the hall. “Shhh,” he said, carefully stepping up to her and putting his fingers to his lips. As quietly as he could, he closed the doors to his nursery behind him, before leading Delia down the hall and to their dining room. “First time they’ve been asleep all day.” He explained as he waved a hand and tea started pouring for them on the table.

“From the look in your eyes, I feel like this conversation might go well with a cuppa.”

🌼

Cordelia blinked as Julien hushed her, tilting her head a little and glancing back at the door, then him. She let him move her easily, walking with him to the dining room and then raising a rather playful eyebrow at him. At his explanation though, she smile and let out a soft chuckle. She watched as he began the tea, and couldn’t help the soft loving smile that appeared on her face.

“Well, I’m glad to hear they’ve finally fallen asleep,” she said gently, “And you’re right, a cuppa would be a good thing for this.” She took a deep breath, moving to pull out a chair for Julien, and then sit in one herself. She put her hands in her lap, looking down for a moment and then back up at her fiancé.

“I think I should go back to attending my mother’s tea luncheons,” She spoke slowly, “She’s been sending more letters, more invitations, and I’m not sure what she’ll do if I keep putting her off. Not to mention, that I think now that we’re in the Order, listening into what she has to say might provide some information that the group can use.”

It felt like so much had happened in the past two months, and Cordelia was feeling rather exhausted. From the explosion in Diagon Alley, reuniting with Julien after, and the two being brought to, and joining, The Order, then all of the training and things to go along with it... Well, it had been busy. Too busy, truly, and Cordelia wanted nothing more than to just go back to curling up with her fiancé and pretending the war wasn’t happening.

But obviously, they couldn’t just do that.

Having been thinking over the idea for awhile, Cordelia was sure of her choice, when yet another letter from her mother arrived that morning. She’d been out in the garden when the owl had brought it to her, and she sighed softly at it, taking it and tucking it into the pocket of her dress without reading it. Standing, she made her way towards where she knew Julien was.

“Jude?” She called out softly to him, “Do you have a moment?”

The shift in topic was almost painful to witness, and Julien could feel his stomach sinking even as Cordelia shifted it to the newspaper. He was never quite good at conflict, although he was always level-headed when it came to it. Battles, he supposed, were never his strongest suit. Not like his family members. But, then again, he had skill with a wand. At least comforting Cordelia came naturally, which was not something he’d ever expected. 

“The Minister is dead,” he repeated, almost numbly. That was a thought he hadn’t truly considered. Well, it had crossed his mind, but he figured he would really deal with it if it were to happen. Julien clucked his tongue and then looked at her. “Not to say you don’t care, but that isn’t what’s really bothering you, is it?” 

And there it was, the fear in her eyes, the way she held back when talking about her mother. Julien tucked some hair behind her ear and then met her eyes, knowing, almost, what she was about to say. He didn’t want her to say it; didn’t want to know what horrors her family had committed. Of course, his own wasn’t much better, but they had in the past stayed out of such matters. Luckily for him, his parents had never been pushy in that area. They didn’t understand Julien, and he didn’t understand them. It was easier, as long as he was fulfilling his duties, to keep them at arms length. 

Gently, he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Whatever your mother asked of you, we will navigate together,” he said softly. “If you choose to go along with it or not. I’m here to support you.” He pulled back and met her eyes. “You know I’ve always… I’ve always found logic to be easier, and I admire that you always follow your heart. But in this case, I think you’ve got to listen to your head. What’s it telling you?”

🌼

Cordelia gave a tiny nod at Julien’s repeat of her words, chewing on her lip slightly and trying to focus. She couldn’t help a small, almost chuckle, that left her when he spoke, because well... if she were really honest, she hadn’t cared for the Minister, and she truthfully didn’t care that he was dead. She’d expected it, at this point, and had been waiting for that announcement. But perhaps that made her a bad person, to not care, and Julien was right; it wasn’t the thing that was truly bothering her.

She melted, as always, into his touch when he tucked the hair behind her ear. His touch was such a calming effect that she had to keep wondering just how she’d managed without it. How had she managed to calm the fear, the anger, when it had just been her alone? She couldn’t remember that particular detail of things, and she didn’t want to. Not when she had Julien back to be her anchor, her heart, again.

It was his words that finally made a laugh escape from her throat, as she leaned into him and hugged him tightly. “My mother wants me to join the Death Eaters, Jude. I’m not about to do something as stupid as that,” She finally spoke, looking him in the eyes and then leaning forward to kiss him, before she continued. “She knew, Jude...” She added then, “She knew about everything. From now, and from before. She knew...”

Her voice cracked slightly, and she held onto Julien’s shirt, held onto him, to try and steady herself, “She knew about the explosion in Diagon Alley. She knew about the ball. She said I should have known something would happen, should have been smarter and stayed home, and that a ‘move had to be made’.” She shuddered slightly, and finally added, “She wants us to join the Death Eaters, because we’re pureblood’s and we’ll be protected just because of that.”

A small shake of his head followed her apology, and Felix let out a small cheshire grin. “It was meant as a joke anyway,” he chuckled. “Trust me, I can take a little bit of teasing. Two siblings will do that to you.” Amelia and Edgar, after all, were always his biggest critics, as siblings always were. On the flip side, he knew that they would be his biggest supporters in the same breath. They were always looking out for him, and it was nice to know they were back home. 

“That’s kind of you to say,” he said simply, knowing quite well that he wasn’t the best father to her. Or, maybe he was a good father, but he wasn’t the person he should’ve been. Now, at least in Susan’s memory, all he could hope for was being a better person; all he could hope for was being the person that he knew she had wanted him to be. 

It was strange, still, hearing someone talk about Susan in the past tense. He nodded ever so slightly, hands crossing in front of him as he thought of the way she’d light up in a duel. Those battles had never been for him; he’d never had the temperament. But Susan was brilliant, like her aunt. She was everything that he could never be. 

At her story, Felix couldn’t help but feel his face form into a frown. While he’d never really known his wife’s family, he at least knew that none of them would have wanted to kill him. They were all amicable, even after the divorce. “Bloody hell, that’s one way to go, huh?” he shook his head. “And, uh, have you told him? Your husband, I mean. I don’t know… I mean, hell, I wouldn’t if I were in your shoes. Can’t imagine that one.” Felix snorted ever so slightly. “And, that’s probably not helping you very much, is it?”

🌼

Cordelia couldn’t help another chuckle at that, nodding her head. “Of course. You’ve got the twins to deal with, I suppose you’re used to about everything when it comes to teasing then, yes?” She smiled and shook her head a little, adding, “I guess I’m both a little sad I didn’t have my sibling bothering me like that, but also I think I was the one who bothered them, so maybe I shouldn’t be sad that it wasn’t returned as badly.” She did love her siblings, truly, but it still felt like such a touch subject with them.

She could tell he didn’t believe her words, and so she just hoped that her saying them would be enough. Maybe one day he’d have another child and understand then, or something like that. It made Cordelia wonder too, how she and Julien would have been with their child, how she would have been a mother alone without Julien if the child had lived. Would she have been a good enough parent, or would she have been answering words like this?

“I suppose it is, yes,” Cordelia took in a deep breath, “And no. I... I couldn’t bear to, if I’m honest. I did say that I fought against a Death Eater, but... to tell him that it was his little sister? That most likely I took her out, when she took me out?” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair a little, shaking her head, “I don’t keep secrets from Julien, but I don’t know how I can ever tell him that either, not when it’s that bad.”

Again. Andromeda blinked. This girl wasn’t in the Order, she knew that much from the meetings. Who was this girl who apparently remembered?

Another explosion went off, further down the street. No time for interrogating her right now. Instead of just holding her back, she took Cordelia’s hands, squeezing and rubbing them to focus her in the moment. “What’s your name?” She waited for an answer. “Cordelia. Ok. I’m Andromeda. Cordelia, do you know how to cast a shield charm? …Good. We’re going to go find your fiance. But we need to watch each other’s backs. Can you do that for me? Go toward the last shop you remember him saying he was going to go to, and we’ll figure it out from there.” She pushed the door open, leading with her wand. She jogged while facing backward partway, watching Cordelia’s back while they went down the street.

🌼

Cordelia’s entire body just shook as another explosion went off further down the street, looking ready to try and bolt again. But the older woman took her hands, and that kindness, the warmth, pulled her back into the moment and forced her to look at the other again. How the other could be so calm in a situation like this, Cordelia wasn’t sure she’d ever understand.

“Cordelia,” she managed out in a tiny voice when asked, feeling her brain flicker with recognition at the others name. Andromeda. Black? Or Tonks now. Was this the Andromeda? However, she didn’t get much further than that thought before she was being asked more questions, and she nodded her head quickly. A shield charm, yes, she could handle that. Hopefully.

“Okay,” She whispered, nodding quickly to Andromeda’s words. She tried to think of where all Julien had said he was going that morning. There had been some potion he’d gone to get, hadn’t there? Something for frost perhaps? It was so hard trying to think when all she wanted to do was scream for him. Instead she held her wand out, trying to make her way towards the shop.

“Andromeda?” She called out a little nervously, at seeing their path ahead filled with Death Eaters.

Where: Diagon Alley

When: 4th May

Who: Vanessa and open

The more that time went on the more concerned Vanessa was getting. She didn’t know how she felt, still worried about the future. But she did know that she was certainly not feeling as loyal to her so called dark lord as she had previously been. All she could think of was those years spent defending her friends and family to keep them out of Azkaban. Of course, they might have actually deserved it, but it had been a lot of hard work. Especially when she’d had a small child to also look after. On reflection, Nessa realised that she had missed out on time with her son. And she wasn’t sure if she was willing to do that again this time round. She didn’t even have Theo yet.

But the death eaters were still doing things, and she was having to find reasons to avoid it. She couldn’t do that forever, and she needed to work out what she was going to do about it. And whatever she did, she needed to make sure that they survived.

The election had been a farce. And so had been that stupid shut down. She didn’t know how Pius was going to get on. But she was just glad that finally things were open. It was such an hasstle for it to all be closed. Especially when she needed things. That was why she was in Diagon Alley today. But it was busy. Clearly she wasn’t the only one with the idea to get out. Vanessa sighed, shaking her head as she sat herself down. Maybe she’d just head home.

🌼

Cordelia still felt rather shaky, even in the time that had passed since the attacks on the Ministry and Diagon Alley. That fear that she’d nearly lost Julien again, the way she hadn’t known, it was enough to make her want to scream. There was also her mother, who clearly had known again, but hadn’t told her. Well, as far as Cordelia knew, anyway, she couldn’t exactly unburn the letters to see if she’d tried to warn her, but still. It was enough to make Cordelia wish she never had to step foot in Diagon again.

She did, of course, because it needed to be done, and she couldn’t be scared forever. Once it finally opened back up, she had to go back to get the things she hadn’t been able to get when they’d been trying to vote. Which was another point that made her angry, the way that it wasn’t as if it mattered. Who in their right mind would have voted for Thicknesse anyway? Still, it wasn’t like there was any changing it now, or at least, no way for Cordelia to change it now.

Walking down the sidewalk, Cordelia sighed deeply at how busy it was, because of course everyone else had the same plan she did, not that she could blame them. She paused at seeing Vanessa Nott sitting nearby though, and bit her lip. Vanessa had said last time she saw her that she was still going to social events... perhaps she could question her about her mother, and see if she’d said anything about her during these events.

“Mrs. Nott?” She approached her with a soft smile, “Do you have some time to talk?”

Andromeda cursed under her breath. She stood up and ran after her. She got between Cordelia and the door and put her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “You’re not going to do any good running out there in a panic.” Another explosion. Andromeda reacted quickly, casting a shield charm above their heads to keep off the falling pieces of plaster.

She glanced out the door, trying to think of the things Alice had taught her in their lessons. Other than the spells to protect herself and that she needed to stay calm and quickly assess, she was drawing a blank. She took a deep breath. “We’ll go together. Watch each other’s backs, find who we need to find. My husband and daughter are at Fortescue’s. Do you know where you need to go?”

🌼

Cordelia gasped in shock as Andromeda stopped her, opening her mouth to snap at her and tell her to get out of her way, but then let out a yelp at the pieces of plaster falling above them. She knew that the older woman was right; she couldn’t do any good just rushing out there without a second thought. But Julien was somewhere out there, and there were explosions, and the only thoughts she truly had were that she couldn’t lose him like this again.

Shaking, Cordelia managed a nod to Andromeda’s words, though tears welled at that. “My hus--my fiancé, he’s... I don’t know, we were going to meet up here, he, he had a few places he was going, but I can’t... I can’t lose him like this again, I can’t, I can’t, please...” A sob left her then, completely panicking and trying to pull away once more.

The niffler was pregnant.

Julien hadn’t forgotten she would get pregnant this year; hadn’t forgotten the babies that ran around the house like mice. He certainly hadn’t forgotten all the jewelry they’d stolen and the treasure trove he would be able to find much easier now that he had the help of the past to guide him. Still, he’d forgotten when, and now she was flopped over on the table, obviously pregnant and Julien, like before, was completely unprepared.

It was silly, maybe, to think of his own child. Their own child. How unprepared he was the first time around, and how he missed that feeling of uncertainty. He couldn’t help but feel that excitement now, as he tickled Daphne’s toe with his pinky finger and watched her wiggle back and forth with a sniffle. Jules heard Delia’s entrance but only just processed what she’d said as he reached into a bag full of cheese and held it out for his little friend.

“Little Daph here is five months until due,” he said, as way of greeting, watching as she hungrily took the cheese as if it were gold. “Do you think they’ll all be the same as last time?” A small smile came across his lips, but as he looked up at Delia, the smile slowly slipped away. By the worry in her eyes, there was something quite wrong.

Carefully tying up the cheese bag, Jules called a couple of stools over to the table in front of them, as well as a tea pot. “Cinder would you like green or black?” He asked, over his shoulder as he met Delia’s eyes, gently patting the seat in front of him as the tea poured. Cinder, bless her, asked for green, carefully wiping her hands free of the food she’d been preparing for their pregnant niffler friend. “The Prophe has you worried?” He asked, noticing the piece of paper in her hands. “More news on the Minister, then?”

🌼

Quiet for a moment, Cordelia watched Julien and felt her heart ache. She’d forgotten about the niffler being pregnant; it had been so long ago for her, and so much had been happening, that it had slipped her mind that it would be this year. But seeing Julien with it, and being reminded of their own child, it was an ache that felt worse than before. It was a joy too, of course, but an ache nonetheless.

His question had her wondering, though it wasn’t what she was focused on. “Perhaps?” She spoke faintly then, “If it’s happening at the same time, and the same way...” Though not everything had been the same this time, and that had her wondering too. Would it be the same? Could it be, after all this?

She held the paper close still, using it almost as an anchor, but relaxed at meeting Julien’s eyes and made her way over to sit in the seat. “Yes,” She spoke then, laying the paper out some so he could see, “According to Miss Skeeter, the Minister is dead. There’s also an article saying that the Ministry is going to make an announcement today, so then her article has to be correct... She seems to know what’s going on with that, at least.”

Taking a deep breath, Cordelia ran a hand through her hair, before adding, “I am worried. I... I have to tell you about my mother’s visit, Jude. What she said... What she asked of me.”

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

It was nice, really, having someone else who understood; someone else who might’ve lived as long as he head. Cordelia at least made it to the battle; knew that they had fought again, even after everything they’d lost. It made his head ache, knowing all they’d sacrificed, what he’d sacrificed, and still lost in the end. At least they’d won, that much was the consolation prize. In the worst case scenario, at least they won. “I used to have quite the gut on me,” Felix grinned, raising his shoulders. “When I woke up like this, you can imagine the surprise.”

He’d stopped trying after a while, after Emme, if he were being honest. He felt pointless, with no purpose but Susan, and soon she would’ve been off on her own, living her own life. At Cordelia’s words, he felt himself pause, a sad smile gracing his lips as he thought of his daughter. “Yea,” he said, nodding ever so slightly. “Yea I’d like to think so. But I dunno if I gave her a whole lot to be proud of, if I’m being honest.” 

That was always the problem, wasn’t it? Felix never knew who he was. Not then. Not now. At least now, though, the people who had helped him figure it out before were back. “Hey, she was much better than me in that sense,” he laughed. “I never… I mean I’m alright in a duel, but not the best. Now, put me in court and you’ll see some magic, but it’s not much help in war, is it?” He shook his head and then paused ever so slightly. “If you don’t mind my asking, did you, uh, make it out? Of the battle?”

🌼

Cordelia couldn’t help the snort and laugh, but quickly covered her mouth and turned red in embarrassment as she realized she had. “I’m so sorry,” She chuckled out then, “That was probably really rude of me. I can understand though, waking up in a body that’s so different than what it used to be, it’s very off-putting at first. It takes some time to get used to again.”

Her smile softened and she shook her head lightly at Felix’s words. “I think you gave her plenty to be proud of,” She spoke, “And I’m not just saying that either. From what she told me when we were paused in battle, to talking with you now, I know she was. It’s the things we don’t realize about ourselves, sometimes, that people can be the most proud of.”

Another laugh left her at that, and she took a deep breath. “Truly, she was a lot better than me. She was a real force to be reckoned with. I can do plants and reading, but practical things have never been quite what I’m great at.” She hummed, then continued, “Court can be useful once they get arrested, which would play a large part in helping, you know.”

She paused at his question, smile fading and picking at one of her nails, almost a little distracted as she shook her head. “No, I...” She took a deep breath again, knowing she hadn’t admitted this to Julien, had been too terrified to, and hadn’t told anyone else yet either, but... “I ran into my old sister-in-law, my husband’s sister. She was on the other side, and we both... well, took each other out, I suppose,” She managed after a moment.

who: @cordeliagreengrass​ where: Diagon Alley, Twilfitt and Tattings clothing shop when: April 22

After Nymphadora was measured, Andromeda kissed both her and Ted and let him take her off for ice cream since she’d been good. She technically didn’t need new clothes yet, just shoes, but she could always do with a few extra pairs of pants for how often she ripped the knees of hers. She had a few brightly colored things over her arm and couldn’t help but pause in the section for infant clothes. With everything going on after Valentine’s Day, she hadn’t had time to ruminate on her declaration to Ted. Still, it was in the back of her mind.

With the infant clothes next to the ladies, she couldn’t help but notice a young woman next to her shopping as well. She glanced over at the selections the woman was debating over, a tiny pair of socks in her own hands. “I think you’d look lovely in the bright lavender.” She commented casually, flashing her a slight smile.

Just as they started their conversation, the screams outside in the Alley started. Andromeda’s blood ran cold. She took a step for the door, but then the building around her rumbled with the first explosion. “Get down, everyone!” She cried out, ducking before pieces of debris started to fall.

🌼

Going to Diagon still made Cordelia rather nervous, though she tried not to show it. After all, even if everything was to go the way it had before, which it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be for awhile that anything should happen in Diagon, right? Still, letting go of Julien’s hand so he could go get what he needed, and so she could wander into the clothing shop, was a lot more difficult than she’d ever imagined. But she also couldn’t smother him, and she knew that.

She was absently looking over the dresses, looking at the fabric in her hand when she heard a voice next to her. Looking up, she flushed and smiled at the older woman. “Lavender is such a beautiful color, isn’t it?” She said softly, noting the tiny socks in the woman’s hands. She didn’t recognize the woman, at least not at the moment, and it made her curious, and want to ask questions.

Before she could, however, there were screams coming from outside. She froze up, eyes going wide, and before she could make any movement, the building shook with an explosion. She stumbled, falling to the ground in shock, and then her own scream of pure panic joined those from outside. No, not again, not with Julien out there, not now...

The woman’s words didn’t register to Cordelia; all she could think about was Julien, and getting out of the shop to find him. “NO!” She screamed out again, unable to help it. She scrambled to try and get up and get past where Andromeda was, desperate to get to the door, and not thinking of anything else.

***

Caradoc nodded in agreement. It would be nice to have something that didn’t end up ruined by the Death Eaters presence. To make better memories and not have to look over shoulders constantly. But it felt foolish to hope for that. Not when he knew how things turned out. He almost felt foolish for not expecting something bad to happen tonight. As though he should have known better.

“I’m glad that you’re alright. All things considering tonight could have been much worse.” He didn’t want to say they were lucky but at least from what he has heard there hadn’t been any deaths. And he was well aware of how sad it was to be happy about basic injuries. Nothing like this should be happening in the first place. But he would take any bit of good news he could.

Her reaction about Moody caused a laugh to bubble up in Caradoc’s throat before he could stop it. Again. Well that would answer the question of if Cordelia remembered or not. “Yeah. Crazy isn’t it? Almost as though he wants rid of the bloody thing. Or maybe it’s fait. Either way at least it won’t be too much of a shock for him.” He said with a shrug. 

🌼

Cordelia hadn’t even realized what she’d said, until Caradoc was laughing at it, and the girl then turned a bright red. She let out a relieved laugh of her own, however, as Caradoc continued talking and she realized clearly that he remembered as well. That was a stroke of luck, she thought, and she also realized she needed to try and be a bit more careful instead of blurting things out like that, even if it was a reaction that made sense.

“It is very crazy,” She agreed then, “I’m hoping it’s not on purpose, though I am a little afraid of him, so I wouldn’t be able to say either way. I suppose we should hope that he doesn’t go running after one of them shouting about his eye or something. That’s when we’d really have to worry, right?” She laughed softly; joking of course, but also wondering about it now. If it was fate that had caused Alastor Moody to lose his leg again, then...

No, she wasn’t going to let her thoughts wander to that. She couldn’t.

—

Vanessa liked buying new dresses. She liked having new dresses to wear to the all the social events. Knowing the future, having memories of it, made it all feel a little sour though. How could she wondered down Diagon Alley, buying new things, when she knew in a decade she’d be dead, and she’d leave her husband to bring up their son alone. It was making her question things, and their involvement in the war. Of course, her death had had nothing to do with the war. But she still wasn’t sure if they should stay involved or not.

Society events still went on though. And she found herself needing a new dress. That was why she was at Diagon Alley that day. She was surprised to nearly bump into Cordelia. “Oh. Cordelia. Hello.” She murmured with a smile. This was a little awkward. But she could make face. “My mother would kill me if i didn’t attend the events” She murmured with a laugh. “You’ve been missed.”

🌼

Cordelia’s smile got a little strained as Vanessa said she’d been missed, knowing for a fact that her mother must have been mentioning it to people, that she’d been avoiding them, avoiding her. truthfully, it was one thing she didn’t know how to deal with. How did she reconcile herself to what her parents had become, and how they wanted her to join the very people who’d taken her husband from her?

“I’m not sure if my presence is truly missed, though I assume my mother may have been making a thing of it to cause it to seem so,” She chuckled out weakly, “Things have been... interesting this year, and I suppose finding myself falling in love and wanting to actually spend time with my husband-to-be has made me think less about the events and more about a happy home.”

It wasn’t as if that were a lie; she was wanting to spend more time with Julien than anything, and the thought of going back into that society had her feeling sick. Still, she supposed she couldn’t avoid it forever, and she was worried what her mother would be saying, of what others would say. “When is the next event, anyway?” She asked then, curiously.

Cordelia had been a little wary of going to Diagon at the moment, but maybe it was just because she was afraid she was going to run into one of her parents, or a friend of her parents that was going to try and get her to do what her parents wanted. It was the last thing she wanted, but she had gotten word that the seeds she’d ordered had come in, and the only way she’d get them was going to pick them up herself. So, a trip had been made.

She was just walking out of the flower shop with her purchase in hand, when she nearly ran into someone walking past, and quickly stepped back and offered a small smile when she saw it was Vanessa Nott. It wasn’t as if they were strangers, of course; she was the sister of Floretta’s husband, and they’d seen each other at some of the Pureblood affairs when they were younger. Still, it didn’t mean that Cordelia was completely trusting of her.

“Hello, Vanessa,” She spoke then, giving a bit more of a smile, “How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in awhile, I suppose I have been avoiding most of the social events lately. Have you been attending?”