copingwithempathy

This is a link to a blog site written by a narcissist to teach others about narcissism. There is a lot of good information on here. 

I posted this particular post from this narc site because I was warned but did not listen. As a result, I have been burned.

When someone says to you:

“I’m worthless.”

“I’m self destructive.”

“I ruin everything.”

“You shouldn’t get involved with me.”

So I abandoned this blog for quite a few years which I sadly regret.

Hope you are all well.

I’ve just broken up from a 3 year abusive relationship. A trap I didn’t think I’d see myself fall into but did anyway.

Unfortunately, it is really easy to fall into such relationships. Sadly, I see I’m probably attracted to these types, so for my own sake and as advised from my counsellor I won't be dating again anytime soon.

I’m undergoing therapy at the moment and my counsellor is teaching me how to do grounding. I’m lucky I found a counsellor who immediately understood my empathic nature and is now warning me about keeping boundaries.

Which I seem to fail at holding in place.

I've noticed that I seem to be rather drawn to people who have emotional problems. When I say drawn I mean I really really go out of my way for these sort of people. I can't help it. I just love them. I really do. 

Funny but the feeling is mutual on their side also, they say they can open up with me. And are always willing to look out for me too. So the feeling becomes mutual. At least for a little while.

Not that this happens often, I mean I have many friends that are ok, have no emotional baggage. They dont ask for much from me, they have plenty of other friends so feel no need to ask of me, or ask me out constantly let alone message me. Not that I'm upset about that. But that makes it oh so easy to get involved with people who are the opposite of that and are somewhat secluded. Those people pick me and I find myself doing whatever I can to look after them, even if it costs me financially.

A biological research team at Bielefeld University has made a groundbreaking discovery showing that plants can draw an alternative source of energy from other plants. This finding could also have a major impact on the future of bioenergy eventually providing the evidence to show that people draw energy from others in much the same way.…

I've lost track of the amount of people I've told. I dont say "empath" pretty much just explain my symptoms...and let them figure it out. People say its weird.

Hmm but then recently I let one of my friends borrow my empath book. He didnt know what an empath was before then.

Wow its been a while since I last posted on here.

Not sure if I want to share this madness,,,,

But here we go...Broke up with my boyfriend of six months in Jan. WAIT this is relevant because one of the reasons why I broke it off...was because I was feeling everything of his. EVERY SINGLE THING. I even "mirrored" his sleep problems at times. He triggered my empathy so much to the point that it was just getting ridiculous. At times I thought I was going to die, I had anxiety attacks that sprung up only when I thought about him or was around him. There was always something wrong...but the anxiety attacks continued because I didnt question the relationship we had. Wont go into too much detail here but by the end of December I realized that I could not stand his emotions/emotional self and his attitude.

Caring about someone is literally sharing...and I regret involving myself with someone as emotionally confusing as my ex.

Long story short, that is the end of that and the sad thing is I'm still trying to cut cords and get him out of my head. I can still feel his presence in my dreams, he still appears in them. I'm always trying to help him in these dreams. There's nothing worse than excessively feeling someone's presence when they are not even there. Also I'm not even sure if what I felt for him was actually romantic love or just excessive empathy. Either way, that relationship quickly turned into the worse mistake of my life. If I ever saw him again it would be too soon. I dont want to see him ever again LOL

I've been feeling alot more sane ever since I broke it up. Been keeping to myself alot lately and have recently picked up a new hobby that keeps my mind very busy. I've decided to not allow myself to get too involved in other people's lives...as this is when the trouble starts.

1. Stop listening, watching, reading and engaging with depressing negative music and world news.

Ive noticed that I do actually have some telepathic tendencies and this really isnt a joke.

Knowing and feeling what people are going to say to you before they even say it.

In my case its usually seconds before they say it certainly not like a vision thing...Its like their words drop in your head first before they even say it. Though in my case its electronic. Like when I'm texting, messaging online, I sometimes know the contents of a message before I read it. Sometimes I just know when someone wants to get in contact with me. Sometimes this "gift" freaks me out sometimes it doesnt. Sometimes it pisses me off, I kind of like the element of surprise but this "gift" is stealing it away from me.

I've noticed how often I tend to do this. Chasing away emotions... I literally tell them to go away. It depends on the emotion, like if I'm about to break down and cry I command the tears to stop, to go away. Its hard trying to control emotions like that and probably is not a good idea in the long term. Burying emotions does not make them go away. They will re-surface eventually.

However if you are the sort of person that literally cries over everything and anything, anywhere- it cant be helped. Crying in public will reveal your vulnerability to everyone...so very few people do it.