A FOOL

Sometimes I wish that I could have a say in the world. Maybe then it would be less of a hell.

imhrtting fmsywf;f right nwo im scratchign it all oepn i desderve tgis

ifucjkgn ahte eveyrones oo ucjnjm IOmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sotgp,lying to meeeew hy are youalllyingtoomeiknowimnothigniuckingknowimsknothging

refdsgdseafdXmghhhhkjrndffm why Did she give birth to me WHyyyyyyyy do i have to fucking stay alive for everine elseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepk;kjbhdbvjuhijo[ cvvb

whatt am ieven good for dudeim a fuckig hroroile artisy i cant bring myself to do aythign or eben have fun and all i can fucking do all day isllok at porn And be a hornu fucking digsustgn wasteo f air i cant waitotdie

myheadits so bad my eha oh gmt god my head its throbbing it feels so heavy theres so mcuhf og i ened to cut Open my head I need to clena out my hea d theres fiflth all over mh rbrianMy brain is filfthy disgsuting I need To clen it I need to clean it tofeel betterstosptosptostop

i want toDie i ne dtolkilll muself

Iineedto fucking kill mYself. I NEED OT HURT YMSYELF. I am Going Insa.e I need the control I want a say over my own paina nd suffering fi dont need others to fucking make me Suffer. I AM IN CHARGE OF MY OWN PAIN. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING HURT ME I WILL FUCKING HURT MYSELF WHERE I HAVE A SAY AND YOUDONT I want to RIp Out my hair and rip out my organs and bang my head against th e wakl until im bleeding out i want to cut my throay Open i want to cut off my Legs and bleed out slowly And Pianfully i shoukd be stabbed with needles utnil i feld nothgm but painn Im such a fucking nutcase andi hate myself i hate myself so much i hope i die I want to die i hope everyone fucking admits they view me as some uselesspiece of garbage and stop liyng about caring abotu me Iwanttt to hear the truthmy headdd ithurts and I feel so dizzy andmydissasociaton is getting so storng taht icantt thinkand i cant leave my roomnaymroe a ddddddddm, enjhygutfgvb nm,kl/ji;ohubv cgufea44rxcgI want it to all stopstopstopppstopitttuorhjbhjdfvkjh;hbjlg sTOP STOP

its getting worse. I can't leave my room without becoming overwhelmed and needing to run back to my room. Ive started eating as much as I can in here. I try to limit my time outside my room. all because of the panic and anxiety it brings me just to think

why am I upset? what am I upset over? if I want to die, I should at least have a reason for feeling this way, right?

would i finally mean something to you of the day of my funeral? or would you not even bother to come?

wanting to leave it all behind because im done but im also too scared and think thatll cause something bad to happen

this temporary flesh disgusts me, and one day i shall remove it all before the maggots get to me

i just.i just wanrted a friend. i just wanted someone i could rely on. im so stupid. im such a fucking idiot. WHY did i think i could trust you? i always felt crazy when i didnt trust you but now im seeing it.why did you do this otome.im.fuck.i ahte myself you hate me i HATE THIS WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME WHY ARE YOU PLAYIGN ITH ME LIEK THSS