Malignant Asshole Mercifully Stays Away From Knicks Game 4 Victory
The New York Knicks stunned the San Antonio Spurs on Wednesday by making the largest comeback in NBA Finals history, and taking a 3-1 series lead after OG Anunoby’s putback of a Jalen Brunson miss with 1.2 seconds left. The celebrity-studded crowd at Madison Square Garden was ecstatic, staying long after the game had ended to celebrate the win. President Donald Trump, who jinxed the Knicks in Game 3 by sleeping through the first quarter in owner James Dolan's box, was not on hand for the improbable victory, making it obvious that he is a malignantly unlucky wannabe fan. Trump tried to lie and say he was also at Game 4, but alas, nobody was buying his bullshit. "I was at Game 4. SO GOOD! I was right there behind Taylor Swift and the Law and Order lady. They wanted to have sex with me, but I was focused on the Knicks' HUGE WIN," Trump said on Truth Social.




















