captain roach!

Clark had been waiting his whole life for this moment! Marriage… such bliss! With a bashful smile and a fervent nod, he agreed to the proposal. “When?” He asked. “…Now?” He knew his mothers would be upset if he didn’t tell them that he was about to be a married man, but he was too caught up in the intensity of young love.

Connor’s head was spinning with impulse decisions, the latest being “Yeah, man! Let’s do it!” in response to Clark’s question. Who needed to wait to get married? Lame. Connor was in the throes of true love now, and eloping totally sounded badass. 

Clark felt his cheeks warm at the comment. He’d never had anyone actively offer him off limit snacks before. But best friends? What if I want to be more?  “…Are we only best friends?”

“I mean...” He began, finding himself getting more and more distracted by Clark’s intense stare. “We don’t... Have to only be best friends?” He hinted, tilting his head to the side in thought. “We can... We can get married?”

Clark let out a breathy laugh through his powdered lips. “I didn’t really mean it when I called you donut.” Man, Connor had a nice smile… Clark almost swore he could feel his heart skip a beat.

“Thanks,” He said bashfully, leaning up on his elbows. “And for the record, man, you don’t have to steal from me.” Except I think you just stole my heart. “I mean, you’re, like, one of my best friends, so.”

Clark sent a silent thank you to John Cena, Praise Be Unto Him, for bringing about his victory. However, as he looked down at the sad face of a dejected Connor, he felt a twinge of sympathy in the depths of his heart. “…I… I actually did eat the donuts.” 

“Asshole,” Connor breathed, though there was a clear smile on his face as he looked up at the other. Damn. Clark was kind of attractive when the sunlight caught on his powdery face at just the right angle. “I didn’t really mean it when I called you stupid.”

That final “donut” was the last straw. With the spirit of John Felix Anthony Cena Jr. running through his veins, he threw himself full force at Connor, tackling him to the ground. “I DIDN’T EAT THEM.”

Connor was suddenly knocked back onto the ground by Clark’s lanky body, powered only by all those donuts he stole. “I-- don’t-- believe-- you!” Connor groaned, struggling under Clark’s body weight before finally giving up, looking up at the other with a sigh. “Man. This is so unfair.”

“But I didn’t eat them, donut!” He was becoming truly irate. Sometimes he liked to partake in some late night snacking… was that really such a sin? “Now I’m gonna eat yours AND mine, since you’re such a dumb donut!”

Connor’s brows furrowed as he leaned back, a look of disgusted confusion crossing his features. “I’m not sure what that means, but it sounded really weird. The point is, man, I’m tired of this crap. Donut.”

“You’re the donut!” Clark pointed a finger, eyes narrowed. Connor was a stupid donut, not him. A stupid, plain donut. No sprinkles, no frosting. Boring and stupid. “And if I bought the snacks, you wouldn’t get any, jabroni!”

“I would’ve shared with you if you asked but then you ate them all by yourself!” What kind of human does that? “That’s the point, donut! If you buy your own then you can just eat your own, not mine. I’m tired of this disrespect!”

“I. Didn’t. Eat them.” Clark was getting a little pissy now. Yeah, he ate them, but why did Connor have to roll in and be all accusatory? Classic Connor. “Donuts are stupid anyway. Buy better snacks.”

“If donuts are stupid then I guess that makes you a donut ‘cause you’re stupid!” The evidence was all over Clark’s face, white powder half-assedly smeared off like he was sporting a shitty Tony Montana costume. “Why don’t you buy the snacks, man?”

Clark turned his head slowly, lips completely coated in a thick layer of white powder, a manic look in his eyes. “I didn’t eat them.”

“I don’t believe you!” Connor cried, throwing the box to the ground. “This is, like, the third time you’ve eaten all my freakin’ donuts, man!”

“Dude,” Connor frowned, holding up a big empty box which read in big letters ‘CONNOR’S DONUTS: DO NOT EAT!’. Classic Clark, eatin’ all the freakin’ donuts. “Why’d you eat all my freakin’ donuts, man?”

if you really wanna use the word fag THAT BAD in character in a thread ydy just tag it appropriately and don’t get too wild. characters who are bigoted are extremely rare and i’m in no way saying that i condone that kind of language or behavior, but it’s kind of nice to see someone in a group who’s neither a neutral good or a casually enlightened bitch ja feel. i love drama do what u want

“Speaking of the yacht party, that one Bridgemont gossip blog said something about you kissing Leah,” Jude mentioned with suggestively raised eyebrows, nudging his friend with his elbow. He pouted as Connor relinquished his goal of becoming a drag queen. “Already? I didn’t mean to discourage you or anything. I just wanted to make sure you were prepared for the work it takes. I’d totally hold your hand through the waxing if that’d help.”

“Did it?” He said, sending the other a rare, straight-faced look that he hoped would let Jude know that he’d definitely read everything the blog had to say. “Wild. And you didn’t discourage me, man. It was a joke, anyway,” He said, hesitant smile slowly reappearing. “Thanks for the, uh, hypothetical hand-holding, though.”