CONNIE LOVER

It took two days for me to finish

Something ive been thinking about a lot lately.. ^_^

While Steven's on the road after future, I feel like he would experiment with shapeshifting a lot more. I feel like the idea would be born out of insecurity... Like, he's still dealing with so much, he had such little time to process his trauma and how it still hurts him, and he definitely has a lot of issues with his self confidence. I feel like, just every now and then, Steven would shapeshift into other people, like characters he's made up in his head.

I think a lot of his characters would be women... One, because he grew up with mostly women, his most formative years and events he spent with the gems. So maybe he would just default to that.. BUT ALSO I think that he has some issues with gender identity that he would rather work out AWAY from home, whether or not hes aware that's what he's doing.. i definitely think Steven is a little genderfluid.. maybe just genderqueer!! But he never really had time to explore his own identity, he always just had to prove to everyone that he /wasn't/ rose/pink diamond. Coming to terms with the fact that he is Steven is great, but who is Steven?

Anyway I think this character would be the one he usually defaults to.. (I can't stop thinking about her AUGHH) I feel like Steven would shapeshift into her to do random everyday things.. like going grocery shopping, getting food, going on walks, etc. It's still him.. but just different!!

In my mind, steven would use shapeshifting a way to explore his own identity, but mostly as a form of escapism. To separate himself from his trauma and everything he's dealing with.. sometimes it's hard to be the same person you were when everything was going downhill, and it's confusing to try to navigate life as the same person who went through something so horrible.. for Steven it was just traumatic event after traumatic event for YEARS, and even in future he went through soo much. It wouldn't be crazy to imagine he doesn't want to be himself anymore after that. At least not all the time. Sometimes just being yourself can be isolating. Living vicariously through a "perfect person" he's fabricated in his head would be freeing at first, but I feel like ultimately he would just become exhausted..

I think connie would be the first to find out... In future they mentioned meeting up for ?? breakfast (i think it was breakfast)... Imagine Connie is in town a little early, she decides to stop by a store to grab something. Steven is already there (ive imagined this scenario like 50 times already help me) and they end up in the same aisle. Steven recognizes her immediately, obviously, but knows as long as he keeps his form she will never know. Once she leaves, he can just un-shapeshift and then meet her at the REAL spot they're supposed to. But I think in his nervousness, he would drop whatever item he was holding. Connie being nice of course would pick it up and hand it to him. Maybe she would ask him a question, or say "hey, I like your earrings!".. but if Steven responds, she's going to immediately recognize his voice :,) ... (I actually have imagined this turning out multiple ways... Either Steven freaks out and says something anyway and she recognizes his voice, he gets too nervous and un-shapeshifts by accident.. cus he's probably not very great at shapeshifting because I mean.. why would he want to be after cat fingers.., or he would pretend he couldn't talk and quickly leave the store 😭) in this hypothetical situation im gonna say he gets caught shapeshifting and is put into a situation where he has to sit through the date still shapeshifted (i still haven't figured out why he would have to yet ....) and hes embarrassed and also feeling a lot of shame but connie is just confused and a little flustered too because... waow pretty boyfriend....

I do think they would have a long conversation afterwards, like maybe they sit in stevens car and talk... Connie asks him if he's more comfortable being this way. He says not really. Maybe? Kind of? But not really.. she asks why he's doing it, but he doesn't really truly know. He just knows its easier this way. They talk about the implications of him choosing this specific form, he tells her that he's really confused about who he is. His sense of self is all out of whack and he doesn't know how to handle it. He begs her not to tell anyone, and obviously shes like. What?? I wont!!

I think in the end Connie would just want to be supportive no matter what because she loves him ^_^ and Steven would probably cry a little because hes just so darn confused 😔 but eventually i think he would phase out of it.. probably realize hes genderfluid/queer along the way.. even though that wasn't the point of him shapeshifting in the first place..!