banded by not

oh my god don’t laugh at that,,,,,i killed myself my tattoos? art? no this is what pains me forevermore is this not MY fever dream? i am sooo bored & tortured i invented cuss words fuck shakespeare you’re not a true millennial unless you’ve got 3 different addictions i’m a junkie poet but my mom just thinks i’m an alt kid every mom shopping at urban outfitters thinks they have an alt kid i wish kit were home telling me to dance more or something what’s the stage of grief where it’s all the stages of grief at once is the double don also a sex position pushups & hyperventilating are the only exercise techniques i endorse i’m feeling a little too serene to be pissing blood right now i want my good people to never die thinking about the future is a luxury you’re not supposed to save your money paul tweeted “i wish instead of having a twitter i was in a punk band” he also tweeted “stay gold, idiot whose life is fucked”

watch out! there’s no one behind you

let’s change the u.s. dollar to a boomerang you can live off of peanut butter you can piss with the door open you can gain 30 pounds and still be pissed off about the same things

i painted my nails you haven’t seen them open book says can i be emo in here? lol i mean is it morose to post a picture of milk on the internet using stolen wifi? my roommate has two cats i decalcify their pineal glands

i’m stuck in chicago again i’m obsessing over how often my mom has been googling me lately how alienating i am to those wanting to love me she googles my friends now too and hopes i’ve been eating here i stopped texting back carl’s neighbor fed me because i am poor i assume i don’t know if he knew that or not he doesn’t even know my name i’m being obvious to my twitter crush about my twitter crush and he is reciprocating while remaining the biggest baby some poets are so annoying they make me want to buy something or sell dumb tshirts for $70 that say something like COOL CONCEPT or COOL ADDICT COOL VOID COOL DICK COOL LIES i could be a gay man

expect my wagging tail to graze by not touching u wash indigo dye off my legs once a week i don’t want to ever sleep again i am god i am god’s i might as well be diamond eyed at least i have a brain and a voice and bleached blonde hair are words i cry for i’d steal all the cigarettes in the world yr crammed in a bottle for me to stream i wish i was the angel hanging an inch off the ceiling i am the angel on the ceiling my veins are dragon and that’s All i’m made of movement that doesn’t look real i made a peony of my dogs ashes i kept the collar i keep around my neck i’m fashion i’m red hot fusion fuckers could say i am 25 but i am 19 a cocksucker’s cock i suck what the fuck is candy bambi made me hate motherhood like sorry i missed miss godbeard plump stupid teen leave me stoned stone me bone me like my marrow is sugar should have stayed out of wars inflatable wish i was never born in love with a mutant taurus is horse shit god wants more shit kanye west voice i love it though

i keep things living in my room so i don’t have to sometimes people pull their hair out on my bed i give my friends haircuts when i am drunk someone could sit behind me i fucked up my blood and so i am cold and i am so cold a frowning face carved in my doorframe my plants dancing in the breeze is where i am imprisoned my gentle fruit existence wants to be eaten i want to devour all the sugar of the world

little figurine! the airlessness! buoyant on a drug binge guitars in bathrooms reminds me of you my stomach keeps grinning trusting myself too much i’m eating candy is anyone “awake” i need money here is me a community honey doesn’t mean a thing to me any more dollars spent no one cares about flag day

you ever fuck your blood up and then keep doing it my hands and drugs children try to find regularities in everything i find them killing off every poet inside of me giving up infinity burns and births piles and piles of internal concern need i remind you my nightmare life is full of you watching fade all off the irs forgives me engineering a chemical monster of my body

jack off open window you are so beautiful you look like this

look you in the art mouth i can talk can you talk who wakes up it feels different doesn’t it? a more disciplined beat not required listening i did not know until now it’s embarrassing how the universe is the universe is not the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required the universe is not required

sometimes watching you fall off a horse through a bedroom window if you’ve got it i know ya know how i’m a race car driver now the impact is not the same i’m unsharable then i will have nothing then medicated told my ma that people kill other people because they want to kill those people and she was surprised and still living i used to watch from the car window or never stopped the sun asking the same question every few minutes thinking it would make her like me more figure out that talking a lot is not communicating a color melt she is a poor poet was** i was a jackass or i am ashamed i never pay for coffee anymore

best poets hurt people as a Part genius i never plan a lot and i’d like 3 he’s giving someone my voice right now i’d like to say well? what is to consume the only bee i even said he either answer i want a big party i’ve been pranked every time before this picture right now is just another time chase vodka with dried blood i am not a poem for mental health chuggin on the cray thinking about someone not a recording chase whiskey the way i can thank you are the very rice of my existence to have $$ lay naked on blue i will ether should i swear that i am i will ether put me in a bird feeder put me in our home i just got it paint my bed another night of my life i just got it again

pranks & tries to get a laugh out of me said he’s never seen me that drunk but i heard u puking this morning too the worst part about being poor is i want to be alone listening to justin cry out of speakers this cat is scared of cigarettes and i am too meet my plants meet my cats meet my window or no one except my plants love being alive my plants love being alive in front of my window but what do i get digging through the years of spilled honey count aloud how many leaves fall off the tree in a bathtub or bed if the party starts and ends in the dumb poet’s room why do i not bleed too no one knows a sister’s love or why i’d kill myself too soon

i tried not to tell the dreams out loud i die often i hope jenna will be okay i do not care if i’m okay i don’t know why i should feel guilty for owning a brain or why the way i think about myself is bad did you leave the country because of me here i am again gliding down shit creek it’s so easy for me it’s stupid her dreams hurt me i cut myself off the clock i’m forever it’s my birthday she killed herself though not confusing anyone i’m primitive nature emotional thug pounds sandhills into waves and i fall all the way down to the bottom i miss simon kissing both of my cheeks i miss kissing carl’s wine hands i miss being a woman but not enough to take her back i’m not that sensitive bitch everyone is a terrorist here’s the highway i kissed a long time ago after crying at work i kiss my wine hands press them against my cheeks