La vie est source de confusion

IG Story is my only way to tell u my life goes on like what u always say. I do miss u. But what can i do? U choose to leave me without telling me why. I can't bare to be mad at you. Because u have been reminding me to "be yourself" and be a better me. I am thankful u came to my life. Although its just 2weeks. I just need to unfollow u in my IG because my heart hurts when i see u post.

Waiting for the day i call u mine. But u really choose to leave me. Crying for 6-8hrs and took pills to make myself sleep so i can stop tearing for that moment.

Black widow just wants hulk to be himself and let down all egos. *Egos don’t worth a cents.* Say what u feel like saying. Don’t keep it to urself anymore. If there is someone out there worth trying go! Don’t hurt urself by pushing it away because u r scared or whatever reason. unhappy voice out. happy than show it. Work is just work. Don’t give urself too much pressure. Hulk don’t deserve to be treated this way! i really want to see a happy you. the person i used to know.

Thats what black widow thoughts.”

50% of me want to cut this thing off. And 50% of me wants to 弥补！i really wish i wasn’t the one who hurt u. I wish i am not the one who change u to become whoever u r today. If u change for a better i seriously will be happy! Little jealousy for sure… But i will be happy. But in e current situation how u want me to be happy? How? Where as i alr know what u r trying to do out there.

My forever dearest hulk. My one n only hulk. I only want u to be happy. I only want u to stop hurting urself!

Apr u texted me asking if you have a chance to re-court me. i didn’t give u an direct ans.. i was pretty pissed actually. maybe pissed is not a correct word. i am more like shock and a little “finally you are here”  and a little “what takes u so long?”

after that msg (and a little other msg) u went missing. 

Early May u came back,,, u texted me again.. saying you love me so much that you have to think carefully every move in order not to hurt me again. your this words make me rolled eye but at the same time butterfly in my tummy,

June i decided to hack it and give it a try. no more hiding the feelings.. i took the 1st step. i told u to decide where to go for dinner. it shall be a birthday dinner treat to u.. but till now u never mention a thing.

i was pretty disspointed cos i have tried so many ways. i start the topic and all.. but all i got is cold respond. i gave myself 24hr to wait and hop u will text me. but all i got i disspointment, and i gave another 24hrs to hate you.. but i realize i can’t hate u…

i have del the chat with you.. and i wanted to text u tell u to leave me alone. stop texting me and ple block me. cos i really don’t want to hurt myself again. but i can’t.

this shall come to an end. but u will still have that little space in my heart.