Confused Campaigner

Realistically, that's what the weekends I have off involve. But just alone. 

Do you ever have down weeks?

Of course you do.

Everyone does.

This is one of mine.

Down weeks can lose elections. If you're less than 8 months away from a general election, you want to give everything you've got. But sometimes, down weeks can win elections, because you recover your energy. And that's really, really, very important.

Reserving your energy is important.

Self-care is important.

Never forget that. Sometimes, it's okay to stay in your PJs and go in a couple of hours late, or leave a little early. 

The first 40 seconds of this is where I want my life to be in a year. 

There was an internal staff election a few weeks ago. I was going to run. Then someone else asked me to nominate him. He was more experienced, so I withdrew and did as he asked. 

And I've hated myself for it. I need to stop being so darn retiring. 

Because I know I'd have been better.

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Sheryl Sandberg tells us to sit at the table if you're given the chance. You know, if you've managed to make it to the table at all. Or the room that the table's in. Or the doorway you can see the table through. Or if you've had the good fortune to even get anywhere near anyone who does sit at the table, or who occasionally has coffee with those do.

It's all very good advice, but what if you do get to the table. And you can't get a word in edgeways. 

On Friday I had a meeting with two Pauls, two Steves and a David for good measure, where we were discussing messaging for women voters.

Yes, 5 white middle class men discussing what women want. Literally cutting me off mid-sentence to tell myself and my female colleague what women want. The only women in the room. 

How do you interrupt? How do you force your way into the conversation when you've been taught all your life that it's rude and your'e supposed to be quiet when your elders are talking, even if they're talking nonsense.

Then at the end, one of the Pauls suggested they go to coffee to continue discussion. Not the women. Just the men.

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It's not the first time. Last week, I was cut off and cut off until the end of an agenda item, sitting in my seat, indignant and frustrated, and the Chair asked "Is everyone happy?" and finally there was that moment's pause where I was able to say "NO!"

In my last seat, we had more women round the table and... all the men apart from the candidate (who was inexperienced) were far from alpha-males. Here... That is not the case.

There's an excess of alpha males here, and I'm going to have to fight a whole lot harder and shout a whole lot louder. 

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Don't retire. Don't sit back. Forget your nerves. Sit up and speak when you're at the table if you have something to say. And you made it to the table, so you probably have something to say. 

"I do everything I can to get women into the game industry, but I know I do it for the benefit of the industry, to the detriment of the women" - @twoscooters

This came up in my timeline, thudded into me, and left its impression. 

It's so painfully relevant in my industry too.

I've just had the opportunity to hire a second organiser for my race, and I chose to hire a woman.

I was surprised to find more women than men applying for the role. I don't know why that is. But if that's representative across applications, it's certainly not representative in hiring practices.

I don't know of any other seat in the country with two female organisers. I certainly don't know any other seat with two female organisers and a female regional organiser. I definitely don't know any other seat with all three of those things and a female Council political assistant. I could list dozens of seats where all four of those people are male.

There were two really good candidates - one had an advantage in enthusiasm, one had an advantage in experience. In the end, I went for the woman. 

I'm super excited to see what we can do as a team.

But I wonder what I'm letting her in for.

She'll be completely outnumbered. I've nicknamed three of my regular meetings. There's my meeting with more Pauls than women, my meeting with more Steves than women, and my meeting with more Davids than women.

She will be harassed, over-ruled, patronised, and ignored. I was never told or made to feel that my safety and wellbeing is more important than a by-election. It won't be to the party. She's lucky. She'll be one of the very few in the country who will be told that. Because I will tell her.

She will state an idea, and it will be ignored. She will then experience a man saying exactly the same thing as she did, and it being greeted as fantastic.

She will struggle to be heard in a meeting where men interrupt each other in pretense of debate.

But her voice is needed. It is good for the party and for politics to have more women. 

Local candidates. Local Councillors.

They're like wild horses when you join a new team that has been mishandled since 2011.

They have to be broken.

You have to pick out a small number of them at a time to get under your thumb. Start with the tamer ones, move onwards and upwards from there. And break them.

They will try and defy you. They may even try and throw you off. But you have to prove to them that you're the boss.

This can mean pointing out to them that you have the authority given to you by committee upon committee. Local Councillors like committees. Local Councillors respect committees. Local Councillors spend too much time on fucking committees instead of knocking on doors.

 It will definitely mean getting on the phone to them or driving to their house or investigating their committee schedules and ambushing them. Because they're brave over email. But in person they will break. Because they'll have to look you in the eye and you're not blinking.

They will get used to saying yes to you. They will get used to doing as they're told. It's going to take some time, don't you worry about that one, but they will fold. 

Or they will lose.

That's their choice. The quicker they realise that, the better for them. The better they will feel on polling day.