we didn't even kiss.

he wears athletic wear because he has to. he wears the jersey of the team that drafts him. he wears the socks and jewelry his sponsors pay him to wear. he wears whatever outfits the stylist lays out for him.

and to some degree, that's a relief, a responsibility taken from his already overflowing plate. but at the same time, it's another way in which he's disconnected from himself.

clothes are one of the most common ways people explore and express who they are. their taste, their personality, the image they want to present to the world. but shane never does that. his clothes are always chosen for a purpose, and that purpose is almost never self-expression. Another part of his identity that he never really dares to explore.

so let's bring in undressing for ilya and, especially, his habit of carefully folding his clothes. Sure, a big part is his autism.

but if shane's clothes represent all the versions of himself that were constructed by other people, then undressing becomes more than just getting naked. he's deliberately removing those layers, one by one, and carefully putting them aside.

the folding is what makes it so fascinating to me. because he's not tearing those layers off or discarding them carelessly. he's taking his time. acknowledging them. putting them away with intention, almost like a form of self-deconstruction. Allowing himself to peel them away intentionally. He's not actually doing it for Ilya, he's doing it for himself.