Confessions of a 3am Insomniac

“I don’t want to be the one who says “I missed you” first. I want you to tell me that you missed me, thought about me enough to realise that I inhabit a place in your heart that aches when we part.”

“He always got them fucking excuses”

A tired, messy, unrequited love playlist

UNREQUITED LOVE STARTERS

“I told myself that I would feel what I feel. I promised that I wouldn’t try to fight my feelings. But I can’t do it anymore. You make me so happy, yet loving you makes my heart hurt so much. I want to cherish what we have, even if I’m just another friend to you. But it’s so difficult letting myself fall for every little thing you do and say. It’s so painful being the only one falling. And as much as I care about your happiness, it kills me to watch you fall for someone else, to see you only see her. So I’m stopping myself. I won’t melt at how soft your eyes become when you face me as we talk. I won’t become excited when I look for you in the crowd and find you. I won’t think anything of the random moments when you hold my hand or touch my face. I won’t tell myself every excuse just to see you or talk to you. I won’t think we’ll become anything more.”

I’m always expecting people to do the right thing, and I guess that’s where I go wrong.

“Do not find peace. Find passion.”

“It wasn’t love, as much as I wanted it to be.”

“It’s tough but possible to accept that we’re just never going to mean anything to some people but what’s tragic is how we can mean nothing to the same people we once meant the world to.”

“I found love but time had other plans for me”

“I don’t think I’m heartbroken. I know it’s been over for a very long time. That doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. Of course, the one who tries the hardest is always left disappointed. What was all the effort for? You tried your hardest and he didn’t change. You gave so much of your time and love in hopes that he would come around, and he didn’t. That’s what hurts”

“who hurt you so bad that you started changing who you used to be and now became this insane monster who is addicted to cigarettes and little highs from fucking boys who whisper you’re beautiful down your fucking throat you used to brush them off and not let what people say consume and take advantage of you now you are sitting here with your phone in your hand waiting for him to text you…. stop waiting for him, the fact that you need to wait and pray for a text back is proof that instead of smoking and fucking to numb the pain… treat yourself and block his number”

“But you have to let it go eventually. That thing that is causing you grief. There are still things for you out there. Things that will remind you that your life is not yet over. Things that will remind you that your potential is as broad as a clear blue sky. Things that will remind you that you are still fighting the good fight which is life. I can’t promise you that those things will hold the same magic as to that thing you’ve had before. But I can promise you that those things that are waiting for you in the future are beautiful, meaningful and blissful enough for you to stay alive and keep on going as you continue on with the art of living one day at a time.”

sometimes you have to let people go because they’re toxic for you. you have to let people go because they mean you no good. sometimes you have to sacrifice the temporary happiness that people will give you - in convenience.. and you have to chase an unconditional happiness only you can give you. you have to let them go because you’ve forgotten your worth and you have to regain a sense of self. let them go because they continuously take - always leaving you empty.. always leaving you uncertain. let them go because while you’re learning yourself & seeking fulfillment - they’re unapologetically draining you.

I’ve been thinking that the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone. But how good at being alone do we really want to be? Isn’t there a danger that you’ll get so good at being single, so set in your ways that you’ll miss out on the chance to be with somebody great? Some people take baby steps to settle down. Some people refuse to settle at all. Sometimes it’s not statistics. It’s just chemistry. And sometimes, just because it is over, doesn’t mean the love ends. The thing about being single is you should cherish it. Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment you’re not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment, when you stand on your own. Really, truly single. And then, it’s gone.

“Honestly, it hurts,” she says. “Because its taken me this long to finally face the ugly truth: he wasn’t the person I thought he was, and he never loved me the way I thought he did. And what’s worse? He never felt a single ounce of guilt for deceiving me.”