trashy romance addict

SCENE:

Laboratory INT., artificially lit fluorescent and will’o blue. Machinery hums in the background. On a work bench roughly in its middle, CROW BOY makes some manual tweaks to a gadget of somewhat indeterminate and arcane purpose. The FRATERNITY DAGGER is lying on the bench next to him, bare head in CROW BOY’s lap. His helmet is on the floor near the bench.

CROW BOY hums an aimless tune.

FRATERNITY DAGGER, sleepily: You’ve got a nice voice, crow boy.

CROW BOY startles.

CROW BOY: You were awake?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Not that long.

CROW BOY: You didn’t have to come if you were so tired. I would’ve missed you, but…

CROW BOY makes a helpless gesture with his right hand, screwdriver still in his grip.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Wanted to, crow boy. Sleep better with you.

CROW BOY: Oh.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Mm.

CROW BOY leans down to kiss the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s temple.

CROW BOY: Go back to sleep.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Mm. Love you, crow boy.

CROW BOY: (beat) I love you too, Mr. Dread-Not.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (drowsy chuckle) Mm. Mr. Dread-Not, huh? I’ve heard worse.

--

SCENE:

The same laboratory INT., artificially lit fluorescent and will’o blue. CROW BOY kneels next to the bare frame of something that might eventually be a wheeled robot, but is currently nothing more than bare metal and assorted parts. He hums a slightly different tune, louder for the absence of the hum of machinery in the background.

CROW BOY: I wonder if he’ll like you? I hope he does.

The still-disassembled robot is silent.

CROW BOY: I can’t tell what he’s thinking sometimes, but I can tell when he’s lying now. It’s good that he doesn’t lie to me so much anymore, right?

CROW BOY tightens a bolt, then puts down his wrench.

CROW BOY: Yeah. It’s a good thing. It means he trusts me, doesn’t it?

CROW BOY checks a large schematic laid out on the floor next to the robot parts and frowns.

CROW BOY: (mournfully) Oh, your chassis is backwards. Let me fix that…

--

SCENE:

The same laboratory INT., artificially lit fluorescent and will’o blue. CROW BOY leads the FRATERNITY DAGGER through the entryway by the hand, all smiles. The FRATERNITY DAGGER looks amused. A mostly-assembled robot sits dormant by the work bench in the center of the lab.

CROW BOY: (talking rapidly) And then I got it to move independently the other day! I had to deactivate its AI for a bit while I worked out the kinks in its problem-solving and obstacle detection, but—

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Easy there, crow boy, the story’s not gonna run away without you.

CROW BOY: (pouts) I was just getting to the good part!

CROW BOY lets go of the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s hand and cups the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s bare face in his hands instead.

CROW BOY: I… I really like you, even if you don’t want to listen to my robot stories.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: I’d love to listen to them in bed.

CROW BOY: (flushes) I… Who says that kind of thing?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: You don’t hate it, do you?

CROW BOY: No…

FRATERNITY DAGGER: C’mon crow boy, gimme some sugar.

CROW BOY leans in halfway to meet the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s kiss.

CROW BOY: (fondly) You’re really hopeless, Mr. Dread-Not. My sister warned me about men like you.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (amused) She did, huh?

CROW BOY: Yeah. She said you’re only after one thing. (beat) I… I kind of like it, though.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (thoughtful) Two things.

CROW BOY: Huh?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: You and a nap, preferably on you.

CROW BOY: Oh.

The FRATERNITY DAGGER neatly laces his fingers together with CROW BOY’s and tugs CROW BOY over to the work bench. He drops his helmet near it, lies down on the bench like he’s aiming to take a nap, and pulls CROW BOY down on top of him.

CROW BOY squawks.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Or the other way around. You’re pretty comfortable either way.

FADE TO BLACK—

--

SCENE:

The same laboratory INT. The robot is fully assembled now and rolling about the laboratory, beeping softly as it checks the machinery humming in the background. CROW BOY hums a soft tune, left hand stroking the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s hair while he makes edits to a schematic with his right.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Hear you’ve been poking around lately. My masters have itchy trigger fingers. You might not like what you find if you keep going.

CROW BOY: (momentarily confused) I… what?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: I’m saying this because I like you. Leave well enough alone.

CROW BOY: Oh. (pause) I just… wanted to know more about you, I guess.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Then you might as well fucking ask me. You’re kind of dumb for a genius sometimes, crow boy.

CROW BOY: (squawks) Hey!

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (soft) I love you, crow boy.

CROW BOY: … I love you too, Mr. Dread-Not.

CROW BOY’s left hand stills.

CROW BOY: … Does this mean you’d choose them over me?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Don’t make me have to pick, crow boy. I like what we’ve got. It’s nice to have someone who won’t stab me if I fall asleep on them. (beat) Your kissing’s improving, too.

CROW BOY: I can’t believe I love you sometimes.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Mm. Want another lesson?

CROW BOY: … Yeah.

--

SCENE:

Laboratory INT. The robot hums softly in its charging station, at the same pitch as the rest of the machinery in the background. CROW BOY and the FRATERNITY DAGGER sit on CROW BOY’s work bench, trading kisses.

CROW BOY breaks the last kiss and sits back.

CROW BOY: I have a confession to make.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Oh? Is this the kind of confession that’ll make us both sad or is it something fun for the next time we make out in your lab?

CROW BOY: I—what? No! I mean. Yes? (visibly flustered) No, I just. I’ve been recording us the times you came to the lab with me.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Recording, huh?

CROW BOY: I just… sometimes you’re busy and sometimes one of my ops runs long and we miss each other and it helps to hear your voice.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Crow boy, you’re a sap.

CROW BOY bristles.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: It’s not a bad thing. You’re cute, crow boy. Sap and all.

CROW BOY deflates.

CROW BOY: Oh.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (wickedly) So, does that mean you’ve got the time we—

CROW BOY flushes and covers the FRATERNITY DAGGER’s mouth with his hand.

CROW BOY: I… I mean I do, but it’s not like I watch it! Just everything else!

The FRATERNITY DAGGER kisses CROW BOY’s palm. CROW BOY trails off.

CROW BOY: I really miss you sometimes.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: I’m right here, crow boy.

CROW BOY: Yeah.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: I don’t mind.

CROW BOY: Huh?

FRATERNITY DAGGER: If the guy behind the camera’s you, I don’t mind being watched. Or recorded.

CROW BOY: Oh. (softer) Thanks.

The FRATERNITY DAGGER shrugs off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: Least I can do is give you a show, eh crow boy?

CROW BOY squawks.

CROW BOY: Not like that!

--

SCENE:

Laboratory INT. Unusually, the FRATERNITY DAGGER is awake; CROW BOY’s head resting in his lap. The FRATERNITY DAGGER’s jacket is draped over CROW BOY’s slumbering form. The robot wheels about in the background, beeping softly.

FRATERNITY DAGGER: (singing softly) Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset? Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams—

--

SCENE:

Laboratory INT. The lab seems to have been neglected for some time. A layer of dust covers the work bench.

CROW walks in through the entry alone and sneezes.

CROW: What is this place?

The robot beeps and rolls up to him.

CROW: Oh! Hey, where’d you come from?

The robot beeps again.

CROW: Huh. That’s neat. Maybe I could make one like this. Who made you?

The robot wheels around CROW in a large-ish circle.

CROW: (mostly talking to himself) We could probably tighten up your turn radius too, and—whoa!

CROW nudges the robot away from the corner of the work bench.

CROW: Guess whoever made you didn’t quite finish your obstacle detection.

The robot beeps almost sadly.

CROW: Were you lonely in here by yourself? I guess I should make you a friend. (beat) You probably need a name, huh? How about Cat? Or… Carrot?

--

SCENE:

Laboratory INT. CROW walks in, tugging TOMOYUKI along gently by the wrist and talking animatedly.

CROW: --so I said “look, I’m just a sinner, what do I know, but you’ll probably want to swap out those parts for ones with less wear or the entire bot’s gonna blow up in your face one of these days.”

TOMOYUKI: Mm.

CROW: He didn’t listen to me, and then two days later apparently his robot had some wild malfunction. I don’t know how he’s planning to fix it, but I guess I’ll see if he’s willing to share notes afterwards. (beat) You okay, Tomo?

TOMOYUKI: Yeah.

CROW: Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t be talking about bad things happening to robots when Yukihime’s still missing, huh?

TOMOYUKI: ‘S fine. Everything’s fine.

CROW: (gently) Probably shouldn’t stay up so late at the Fueling Station, though. You’ll need your strength to get him back.

TOMOYUKI: (stubborn) Can’t sleep without him.

CROW exhales slowly.

CROW: Well, I’m not Yukihime, but you should try to catch a little sleep. I’ll keep watch, okay?

TOMOYUKI: … Okay.

TOMOYUKI curls up on the work bench next to CROW, head in CROW’s lap, and closes his eyes.

TOMOYUKI: … Warm.

CROW: Good night, Tomo.

TOMOYUKI: Night, Crow.

CROW: (distantly) Love you, Mr. Dreadnought.

TOMOYUKI makes a small noise of confusion.

CROW: … Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. Go to sleep, Tomo.

The robot beeps in the background and parks itself next to the work bench.