you my call me Yuu Guy it will save us some time

CHAPTER 1 (Part 1)

EXT. PARK. DAY.

Kid versions of Sam and Max meet for the first time. Kid Max carries a lunch bag and gives it to Sam.

MAX

This is yours, right? That dumb kid took it from you.

SAM

Uh... yeah, it's mine.

MAX

Well, here, take it.

SAM

Did you beat him up?

MAX

Yeah! He cried and begged for his mommy!

SAM

That's awesome, I wish I could have seen that.

MAX

I can beat him up again if you want to!

SAM

Nah, maybe another day, I'm tired.

MAX

Oh okay.

SAM

Do you want half of my sandwich?

MAX

Thought you’d never ask!

They sit to eat the sandwiches.

MAX

Wait, does this have tuna?

SAM

Yeah?

MAX

Oh, I’m allergic to tuna.

SAM

Oh no!

MAX

I'm just kidding.

SAM

Oh.

Fades to black.

SAM

You crack me up, little buddy!

MAX

… That’s not a good sign.

SAM

Huh?

INT. SAM AND MAX’S OFFICE. NIGHT.

Sam and Max stand in their respective desks. It’s close to 8PM and they haven’t gotten a case all day. Or even all week. They’re both bored out of their minds.

MAX

You only ever say that after we’re done with our job for the day.

SAM

What? No, I don’t, I say it all the time.

MAX

But ESPECIALLY when we are done.

SAM

So what?

MAX

So it means we haven’t done anything all week! It’s Saturday and we’re two men with no plans of any kind! Doesn’t that break your big little heart?

SAM

I suppose you’re right, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten a case. I wonder how we’re not going to pay our taxes this month.

MAX

We’ll have to think of something new.

SAM

Let’s just go home. I’m sure the phone will not ring just when we’re about to give up hope.

Sam and Max stare at their phone in silence for a few seconds. Anticipating for it to ring.

MAX

… I’m sure it won’t.

SAM

Mhm…

They keep staring, but nothing happens, so they just move on.

SAM

Well, let’s-

The phone rings. Sam and Max stare at each other.

INT. SAM AND MAX’S OFFICE. NIGHT. 2 SECONDS LATER.

Max’s body lays inert in one of their windows, Sam has thrown him there to grab the phone. Sam answers the phone without a care.

SAM

Yeah? Oh hello, Commissioner! Yeah, we knew you would call, never lost faith.

EXT. DESOTO

Sam drives the Desoto, Max sits next to him. They’re going to an unknown destination.

MAX

Sam, I had a bit of glass on my ears when you explained the case before, so I don’t really know what we’re supposed to be doing.

SAM

You don’t need an excuse, Max, I know you weren’t paying attention.

MAX

Yes, it could be that too, but we’ll never know…

SAM

Anyway, it appears that unlike you and I, a bunch of the biggest most powerful people of our city do have plans for tonight! They are attending a glamorous party at the ridiculously big mansion of millionaire Manny Money.

MAX

Huh, I’ve never heard of him. Then again, I don’t care about people richer than me.

SAM

You don’t have any money, Max.

MAX

Yeah?

SAM

Well, it seems that Manny has gathered more than inherited money, he has an important document that we need to retrieve! The Commissioner didn’t have much information, but it seemed important, too important for a millionaire to have.

MAX

That’s fair! It will definitely be safer with us. Let’s go!

SAM

You seem excited.

MAX

I haven’t crashed a party in a while! I can barely hold my excitement.

SAM

Aw, that’s cute.

MAX

Can we switch sits? I want to drive there.

SAM

You’re not cute enough to convince me to let you do that.

EXT. EXTERIOR OF MANNY MONEY’S MANSION. NIGHT.

Sam parks the night nearby the mansion. The sun is down and there is snow everywhere, it’s a cold winter night. We see Manny Money’s mansion in the distance. It’s absurdly big and tall.

SAM

Well, here we are, at Manny Money’s mansion.

MAX

Sam, I can’t help but worry about the fact that we’re technically not invited to this wealthy get-together…

SAM

You’re worried?

MAX

I worry that we might have to THINK of a plan! Can’t I just fight the guard?

SAM

You don’t worry your cute little head about it, Max, I’ll think of something.

MAX

Can I fight the guard though?

SAM

We don’t know if there is a guard yet.

MAX

But could I fight them?

SAM

Not yet.

MAX

Alright, then, I’m breaking a window.

SAM

Wait, Max-!

Max grabs a nearby rock and throws it at a window without much thought and a lot of strength. Instead of hitting a window, he hits a bat that was flying around.

SAM

Oh jesus, Max…

MAX

(Alarmed)

It’s not my fault! It was on the way! ...Is it breathing?

SAM

It seems so.

The bats is not moving, but it is breathing. Sam notices the bat appears to be purple, for some strange reason. But Sam has seen weirder things, so he doesn’t question it too much.

MAX

Do bats breathe?

SAM

For the last time, Max, bats are just regular animals.

MAX

I’m not convinced yet, nothing that cool can be normal.

SAM

We better take care of this creature until it wakes up.

MAX

Or as long as it’s convenient for us.

SAM

Well, obviously.

MAX

May I keep the bat in my own inventory?

SAM

Where is your inventory?

MAX

None of your damn business.

SAM

I think it’s best if I keep the little bat until it gets better.

MAX

Whatever.

SAM

Let’s just find the entrance for now.

EXT. MANNY MONEY’S ENTRANCE GARDEN

Sam and Max have been walking for a few minutes, due to the extensive length of the garden. Sam is shivering.

SAM

Brr my hands are freezing.

MAX

(Smiling tenderly)

Saaam, you don’t need an excuse to ask me to hold hands!

SAM

You want to hold hands?

MAX

(His smile drops)

No way. You know I hate that.

SAM

Can I at least hold you until I feel warmer?

MAX

(He smiles widely again)

Sure!

Sam notices they have finally reached the entrance of the mansion. A security guard stands on the door. The duo approaches him.

SAM

Hey there.

The security guard looks them. Sam is holding Max like a plushie, while Max smiles, neither of them considering this might be a strange first introduction.

SECURITY GUARD

...

MAX

See, Sam? I told you there would be a guard!

Sam ignores Max and speaks to the guard.

SAM

Sorry for the waiting, fashionably late and all of that, but we’re here now.

SECURITY GUARD

...Oh of course, sirs, welcome to- Hey wait a minute! You almost fooled me for a second, you two are not on the list!

Sam tries to think of a good excuse.

SAM

Uh... yes we are.

MAX

Nice plan, Sam.

SAM

Quiet, pinhead. Look, I think you might want to check your list again, preferably for a while so you don’t look when two guys try to sneak behind you.

SECURITY GUARD

Nice try but I have studied this list enough to know you’re-... Hold on a second.

The security guard proceeds to rapidly check all the pages on his list. When he finishes, he looks back angrily at the duo.

SECURITY GUARD

...That you’re DEFINITELY lying!

SAM

Oookay...

MAX

Sam, he’s reminding me of painful high school exams memories, can I break his kneecaps yet?

SAM

Not yet, little buddy.

MAX

Also, maybe you should let go of me for now.

SAM

Oh yeah, sorry.

Sam let’s go of Max. Sam goes back to trying to convince the guard to let them in.

SAM

You said we fooled your for a second, do we really look that much like millionaires?

SECURITY GUARD

Of course not.

MAX

Phew, that’s a relief.

SECURITY GUARD

But the little rabbit looks awfully close to one of the guests of the list. Here, take a look.

The guest list includes pictures of the guests. One of them looks identical to Max, except he wears a fancy suit and has a mustache.

MAX

He does look freakishly similar to me.

SAM

You’re way creepier though.

MAX

(smiles tenderly)

Aww!

Sam quickly thinks of a good excuse.

SAM

Mhmm… Oh, Max! That must be that uncle of yours that you told me about!

MAX

What? I don’t have-

Sam throws him a glare.

MAX

...Oh yes! That must be him! That’s why we are here! He invited me to finally meet my partner!

SECURITY GUARD

(Confused)

I didn’t hear anything about that.

MAX

Yeah, we keep getting re-married, it’s hard to keep up.

SECURITY GUARD

I don’t know…

SAM

Well, you can’t deny they look identical, can you?

SECURITY GUARD

I suppose not… Sigh, fine. You can go in. Talking to you two for any longer sounds exhausting.

MAX

(Smiles evily)

Thanks, sucker!

SECURITY GUARD

What?

SAM

(Nonchalantly)

Thanks, sucker.

INT. MANNY MONEY’S MANSION (ENTRANCE HALLWAY)

SAM

Alright, for now, let’s try to blend in. Talk to the guests to find any important information. But keep it casual-

Max runs to the first guest he sees.

MAX

Hi! We’re rich just like you!

SAM

Sigh.

The guest is a young woman (mid 20s) with a confident smile and a glamorous dress. The duo will soon find out she knows a lot of gossip.

SAM

Hey… This sure is a nice party, huh?

GOSSIP GUEST

Oh, you bet! I can’t believe how fast Manny Money has organized it despite the short time! And the divorce, and his company crashing and burning as we speak… I guess he really needed this party, huh?

Sam and Max stare at her in silence.

SAM

You know, normally my partner and I go through a dialogue tree and a tedious amount of object hunting to get the information we need, but you’re just giving us those unfortunate news about Mr Money like an old classmate in a highschool reunion.

GOSSIP GUEST

What can I say? That’s my job. By the way, did you know Mr Money is actually 46 years old? A whole. year. older. than what he says he is!

MAX

(In shock)

Scandalous!

GOSSIP GUEST

I know right?

SAM

You seem to know about this stuff, do you happen to know why Mr Money organized this party?

GOSSIP GUEST

For his birthday, of course!

MAX

(Looks at Sam, mockingly)

Of course!

SAM

Hush.

GOSSIP GUEST

(In a more serious tone)

Although there are rumors of course…

SAM

Do tell…

GOSSIP GUEST

Some say this is his way to try to achieve a more positive public image. I mean, he invites B-movie stars here, that’s how you know he’s generous. But others say…

SAM

Yeah?

GOSSIP GUEST

Well… some people say it’s to get rid of his toys.

MAX

Are they bothering him or something?

GOSSIP GUEST

It could be his way of doing a bit of publicity, maybe try to sell the company to someone else, maybe even selling a couple of toys to his own guests! Kind of pathetic, isn’t it? I’m not sure if I believe this rumor, but it’s certainly possible…

(Back to a happier tone) I personally believe Manny Money simply has a depressing obsession with spending as much money as possible to fill the void of his existence. At least that’s what I wrote about him on my blog. But anybody that is anybody knows this already, don’t tell me this is the first time he invites you?

SAM

Well…

MAX

We USED to get invited but then we stopped being relevant for a while, he invited us once we became famous again.

GOSSIP GUEST

Oh… yeah, that happened to his mother too.

SAM

(Awkwardly)

Um… Excuse me if this sounds rude, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in my life and we watch A LOT of television.

GOSSIP GUEST

Ohoho, not to worry, I didn’t become famous thanks to old people.

MAX

Hahah!

SAM

(Frowning)

She called you old too, balloonhead.

MAX

I choose to only hear the part where she mocked you.

GOSSIP GUEST

I am a very popular influencer on anything related to celebrity gossip. Podcasts, blogs, videos… everything! YOUNG people love it. Anything that has to do with famous and rich people, I know about it. Usually not very positive things, but that’s not my fault.

SAM

Well that might be helpful, we don’t know anything about famous and rich people.

MAX

We barely know anything about our own neighbors! We just don’t care.

SAM

Okay, see you, we might come back later.

GOSSIP GUEST

Always happy to help the elderly!

SAM

We’re not- oh nevermind.

Sam and Max walk through the hallway. Sam notices a couple of portraits of Manny Money alongside people he doesn’t recognize. He gets interrupted by a butler.

BUTLER

Jacket, sir?

SAM

No thanks, I’m already wearing this one.

BUTLER

I meant if you’d want me to keep your jacket.

MAX

(Angry)

Hey buddy, I’M his partner.

SAM

No thanks, I keep my jacket at all times.

MAX

I saw him without it once and I didn’t recognize him, it made breakfast time pretty awkward.

BUTLER

I see.

MAX

Can I leave my jacket?

BUTLER

… You appear to be naked, sir.

MAX

That’s a relief! I was worrying no one at this party would realize that.

SAM

Hey, do you know where we could find Manny or any other important guests?

BUTLER

Mr Money is currently at the Main Party room.

SAM

Got it, thanks.

Sam and Max make their way to the stairs and elevator at the end of the hallway. Sam notices a big poster next to the elevator. The poster has big letters and a happy cartoon mascot.

SAM

(Reading)

“Elevators should be more fun and inventive, like toys!”

The poster showcases how the elevator is unnecessarily interconnected to all the rooms of the mansion, even in ways that wouldn’t make any sense.

SAM

Huh, looks like this mansion has only 1 elevator that is able to traverse the whole building.

MAX

That seems… cheap, actually. And potentially dangerous. (Excited) Cool! Let’s go!

INT. MANNY MONEY’S MANSION (MAIN PARTY ROOM ENTRANCE)

Sam and Max come out of the elevator a bit disoriented.

SAM

That was wholesome.

The elevator behind them leaves, it seems someone else has already called for it.

MAX

Yeah! I feel horrible! I liked it too.

The elevator comes back and a man gets out of it. He is not exactly a human man though, he is a pig in a fancy suit. He looks like he is in his 50s and like he already looks down on you. He immediately pushes Max out of the way, making Max fall to the floor.

MAX

(Angry)

Hey watch it!

SAM

You okay, Max?

MAX

I will be when I break that guy’s legs!

The pig stops in his tracks, but he doesn’t look impressed.

CAPITALIST PIG

Mhm? Oh I’m sorry, I’d say that was an accident…

(Smiles evily) But it wasn’t! I like pushing people inferior than me! Ohohohohoh!

MAX

(Stands up, he is even more angry)

Well how about I push YOU down the stairs?!

CAPITALIST PIG

Hah! I’d never use such a commoner thing like the stairs! Good luck trying to push me off a high class elevator, though. Now, I must leave, I hope you think about this experience tonight, crying helps you fall asleep easier!

MAX

Grr!!

SAM

Just ignore him, Max, I’m sure that guy will get enough punishment in the afterlife.

MAX

I’ll gladly help him get there as soon as possible.

INT. MANNY MONEY’S MANSION (MAIN PARTY ROOM HALLWAY)

Sam and Max make their way to the main party room. On their way there, they encounter a little kid playing with a mic and an electronic toy car. Max finds the car cool and approaches it.

MAX

Hey cool!

RICH KID

Move, grandpa!

MAX

(Offended)

I’m STILL young! Just older!!!

SAM

Hey kid, do you know where we can talk to the man organizing this party?

RICH KID

You mean my uncle? Maybe I do.

SAM

But…?

RICH KID

(Smiles evily)

But I’m not going to tell you! Pff!

MAX

(Angry)

Well! Maybe we don’t want to know!

RICH KID

Then why did you ask, nerd?

MAX

(More angry)

MAYBE WE WANTED YOU TO LOOK STUPID!

SAM

Alright, Max, calm down.

MAX

(Calms down)

Whatever.

Sam tries to calm the situation.

SAM

That’s a pretty cool car you got there, is it a gift from your uncle?

RICH KID

Heck yes! He has an entire company of toys and he always gives me whatever I want!

MAX

He seems like he only gave you half a gift, where is the controller?

RICH KID

This toy doesn’t need a stupid controller, stupid! Forward!

When the kid says “forward” into the mic, the car goes forward and hits Max on the knee.

RICH KID

Hahah!

MAX (In slight pain)

...Sam I normally love kids who are massive jerks, why do I wish for this kid to fall down the stairs?

SAM

He’s rich, Max.

MAX

(Pensive)

I guess… doesn’t he remind you of someone?

SAM

Now that you mention it… kind of. But hey, do you think we could play with your cool toy for a minute? Maybe it will be useful for a puzzle later-

RICH KID

No way! It’s mine!

MAX

Haven’t they taught you that sharing is a nice thing to do yet?

RICH KID

Yeah, but I don’t need to be nice, I have a cool toy car!

MAX

He makes a good point.

SAM

Well, be good, kid.

RICH KID

You can’t tell me what to do!

Sam and Max are about to enter the main party room, but next to the door and close to the kid, there is an old lady sitting on a couch. She appears to be asleep.

MAX

Hey, are you related to that kid? Can you tell him he’s awful?

OLD LADY

*Snooore.*

SAM

Let’s leave her alone, Max. She deals with enough by having that kid for a grandchild.

INT. MANNY MONEY’S MANSION (MAIN PARTY ROOM HALLWAY)

The main party room is full of guests, all wearing elegant clothes. Sam and Max look around the room, until they notice Manny Money. Manny is a man with bright blonde yellow hair and a bright yellow mustache. He carries a forced big smile on his face.

Next to Manny are two other guests, coincidentally they are two of the people Sam saw on the portraits at the entrance hallway of the mansion.

SKULL, a big strong-looking man in his late 40s. He wears a fancy purple suit, but his most peculiar feature is his face, because he has a skull for a face. A floating skull on a capsule. Definitely not a supervillain.

BELLA, a beautiful woman on her late 40s. She has a long fancy black dress and long dark hair. She has a neutral look on her face, seemingly bored with her surroundings.

Manny seemed to be talking to her two guests, until he notices someone approaching him, the capitalist pig that pushed Max earlier. Manny greets him with a smile.

MANNY

It’s about time you show up, Capitalist Pig. I was starting to get excited you were not coming!

CAPITALIST PIG

(Angry smile)

Ohohoho, Manny, your attempts to embarrass me in front of so many people are pathetic... even if it’s working.

MANNY

Forgive me, old friend, I know you’re not good at comebacks. Before you interrupted us, we were having a bit of a predicament. I was wondering if someone else would like to give a speech by my side.

BELLA

And again I will ask: Why would you want that?

MANNY

It’s a yearly event, dear! We are all busy important people, when was the last chance we’ve gotten a chance to all meet together?

BELLA

(Annoyed)

Don’t call me ‘dear’.

SKULL

I would love to give a speech! You know I love a good audience. I give speeches all the time to my enemies- That is to say, to my business clients.

MANNY

(Annoyed, but trying to hide it)

Right. That is… so kind of you-

Suddenly the conversation is interrupted by a new guest. HOPE, a woman in her late 20s, carrying a camera and a little cute smile on her face. She wears a dress with vibrant pink and yellow colors, heart-shaped sunglasses and a rose next to her afro puff.

HOPE

Mr Money hi, can I have a few questions?

MANNY

Oh! Is this an interview? I’m great at those too! Gossip blogs love me, I’m great at creating conflict, right Mr Pig?

HOPE

(Nonchalantly)

No, not gossip. Fashion. So, what are you wearing? Tell us.

MANNY

(Awkward)

Ah. Well, a… beautiful expensive suit.

Hope looks at him, unimpressed, but still carrying her little smile.

HOPE

Mr Money do you know anything about fashion?

BELLA

He doesn’t.

MANNY

(Smiles)

Ah! Hahahah! You got me! I suppose this old man knows more about kids toys.

HOPE

It seems he does, yes.

CAPITALIST PIG

Not well enough if his company is in bankruptcy.

Everyone stares at Pig in silence.

CAPITALIST PIG

What? He was rude first and I can’t be rude now? Being a jerk is my whole personality!

MANNY

(Irritated, but still smiling)

Hahah. We know that well.

BELLA

And being passive aggressive is yours.

MANNY

(Laughing)

Ouch! Bella! That hurts!

SKULL

We all know Manny being passive aggressive is one of his main character traits, which while making him rather unlikable, it also serves as a way to-

MANNY

(Snapping)

ALRIGHT! You guys want me to be honest?! Sure! How about if I told you this was my last party?!

Everyone stares at Manny in shock and confusion.

CAPITALIST PIG

Huh.

SKULL

What?

BELLA

Excuse me?

MANNY

(Nervous)

Ah… That escaped me…

Hope leans the mic closer to Manny.

HOPE

Do tell.

MANNY

I thought you said you worked in fashion.

HOPE

I do, I’m just curious. This is good.

Everyone starts to demand Manny for answers, all speaking over each other.

CAPITALIST PIG

What do you mean your last party?!

SKULL

Did something happen?

CAPITALIST PIG

Are you dying???

BELLA

Mhm.

SKULL

I must say this does make the night more interesting!

SKULL

PLEASE tell me you’re DYING!

Suddenly, a new guest shows up, Sam also recognizes them from the portraits. VAL, an anchovy in their mid 20s wearing a fancy blue suit. They look nervous and awkwardly tries to say something, although immediately regrets it.

VAL

Um, hi everyone I-

Manny sees this as a good opportunity to get out of this situation. He runs to Val.

MANNY

My good friend! There you are! Why don’t you join us in our interview?

VAL

(Panicking)

Oh um… I-I-I… I’m not good at that or at talking that much…

MANNY

Hahah! Hilarious! Anyway, it was a nice talk, young lady, but I must be going to give my speech now-

Manny reaches for his mic but notices something. His forced smile drops slightly.

MANNY

Ah…it appears the mic is broken… right, of course, everything tonight is going perfectly… You wouldn’t mind sharing your microphone?

HOPE

Yes I would.

MANNY

Okay…

HOPE Well, thanks for the interview, bye!

Hope walks off without a care, satisfied enough with the interview.

MANNY

*sigh* Now what do I do…

BELLA

I don’t know what you’re planning Manny, but it better not be something stupid.

Bella walks off too. Skull looks at her, concerned.

SKULL

Mr Pig, why don’t you keep him some company?

CAPITALIST PIG

I don’t want to.

SKULL

Well, you should. Even if you’re both rivals, there must be some sort of mutual understanding, that should come to shine in moments like this. Where no one else is by his side.

CAPITALIST PIG

No.

SKULL

(Annoyed)

Mhm, no one else sees the potential of a good story…

CAPITALIST PIG

But I suppose it would be funny to see him suffering. I’ll stay then.

SKULL

Good! You shall tell me all about it later. For now I’ll see how Bella is doing.

Before leaving, Skull turns to Val, who was awkwardly trying to walk away during this whole exchange.

SKULL

And you, Val! It is an honor to have you here! Can I have an autograph?

VAL

(Nervous)

Uh… well… Um I’m just going to… Okay.

Val walks off awkwardly, but Skull doesn’t seem to mind.

SKULL

Of course! See you later!

Skull walks off, leaving Pig and Manny alone, even if they’re not talking to each other at all. We finally go back to Sam and Max, who watched and heard that entire conversation. They look very uncomfortable.

SAM

Wow.

MAX

Sam, suddenly I’m really glad that you’re my main social circle.

MAX

That’s really sweet, Max.

Sam notices Hope, she seems like a good person to have a conversation with right now. That’s usually how a case for this duo goes, just talking to random people until something happens. Sam frowns at this description of his life work.

SAM

Hi. That must have been a bit uncomfortable.

MAX

A bit? I almost cause a scene just so they would shut up.

SAM

What would you have done?

MAX

I’m naked, I’m already causing a scene.

HOPE

It wasn’t so bad, you have no idea the things I have seen.

MAX

Ooh like what?

HOPE

One time I saw two freelancers, one a dog and the other a rabbit, stalk a food critic for a children snack. I heard it got so bad the food critic left the country.

MAX

Hahah!

Max smiles silently for a few seconds until he realizes what he just heard.

MAX

Oh wait…

SAM

You know us? I didn’t think anyone here would recognize us.

MAX

Especially our incriminating memories, you were right Sam, this feels like a high school reunion.

HOPE

You guys are a bit hard to miss, a lot happens in New York because of you. It would be kind of ridiculous to NOT know who you are.

MAX

Then how come our local pizzeria doesn’t recognize us?

HOPE

I think that means they are pretending to not know you.

MAX

That makes sense, but I’m still holding on to my multiverse theory.

SAM

So, you work in the fashion industry?

HOPE

I have an independent fashion brand, yeah. Kind of popular, not popular enough, I’m getting there. I’m also a journalist, it’s no biggie.

MAX

I feel like I’ve wasted my life, Sam.

SAM

It’s 8pm, that’s how you always feel at this time of the day.

MAX

Oh, right.

SAM

But hey, this is a big party, a good opportunity for you, right?

HOPE

Yeah I guess, but it’s all what I expect… I wish there was something interesting in this party this year…

SAM

Like what? A robbery?

MAX

Oooh someone stealing from a celebrity, creating a big commotion!

HOPE

That’d be cool.

MAX

We can make it happen if you ask us to!

SAM

Maybe later, Max.

MAX

Ooooh what if there is a murder?!

SAM

Don’t scare the nice lady, Max. Forgive him, he’s always like this, so I’ll keep him away for a while-

HOPE

No, that’d be cool too! You know a bit gruesome, I would not want to see the body, but I’ve read a couple of mystery books lately so, you know, it’d be a fun coincidence I guess.

MAX

Let’s cross our fingers and wish really really hard.

HOPE

(Smiles sweetly)

Looking forward to it!

SAM

As long as it isn’t me, sure.

MAX and HOPE

(Rolling their eyes)

Spoilsport.

SAM

Yeah yeah. Anyway, how much do you know about Manny Money?

HOPE

As much as anyone. He inherited his father’s toy company, the company was successful for years but lately it’s getting close to bankruptcy and for whatever reason Manny keeps making more and more toys, even if it will probably be his downfall. Really weird, but I do like the company’s mascot, it’s cute.

SAM

Well, we didn’t know any of that.

Hope stares in silence, with her usual little smile.

MAX

Stop giving her perfect set-ups for insults, Sam.

HOPE

It’s fine, I won’t say anything.

MAX

… to our faces.

HOPE

Yeah, you might not want to check my blog this week.

SAM

One more question, just for fun, you wouldn’t know anything about a mysterious document hidden in this mansion, would you?

HOPE

Not really.

SAM

Well, thanks anyway.

MAX

You know Sam, asking about this top secret document just like that is not very detectivey of you.

HOPE

Yeah, he’s right.

SAM

Alright alright, I’ll be more subtle. See you.

MAX

Hey, what fashion advice would you give me?

HOPE

… Wear clothes.

MAX

Noted!

Sam and Max decide to approach Manny next, but he is distracted trying to fix the mic, he doesn’t even look at them. Pig glares at the duo.

SAM

Greetings, Mr Money.

MANNY

I’m really sorry, folks, but I don’t have much time to talk now.

CAPITALIST PIG

(Smiles evily)

It’s okay, I can answer their questions for you.

MAX

How old are you, Mr Money?

CAPITALIST PIG

46.

Manny glares at Pig in silence.

SAM

Is the microphone broken?

MAX

Don’t you have like 15 back-up mics or something?

CAPITALIST PIG

Just because we are rich doesn’t mean we have everything at all times.

SAM

Huh, I’ve never thought of it like that.

CAPITALIST PIG

(Smiles smugly)

Just kidding, we have it all, it’s just that Manny organizes garbage parties!

SAM

I feel a very warm friendship here.

MAX

(Confused)

Um… I love you too, Sam?

SAM

Maybe we can help, what do you need?

MANNY

Wait, really? You’d do that? Thanks, fellas, that’s awfully nice!

MAX

Awfully convenient for us at least, in some way.

MANNY

If you could give me a microphone, any kind of microphone, I’d be able to tinker it a little and make this work.

SAM Any kind, huh? Sure, let’s look around.

Sam has an idea, but he sees Val in the distance and decides to talk to them first.

SAM

Hello there.

VAL

(Confused)

Oh, hi. Who are you...?

SAM

We are Sam and Max.

VAL

Oh.

MAX

Well? We are famous!

VAL

(Nervous)

I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you…

SAM

I guess technically we WERE famous.

MAX

Maybe ‘famous’ is being too kind. We have fans, that’s all.

SAM

We don’t know that many people here ourselves, but we’ve seen you in a couple of movies.

MAX

Yeah you are an actual celebrity!

VAL

Oh thanks, that’s very nice of you. Now I feel bad for not knowing who you are…

SAM

It’s alright, nobody really does.

MAX

Except that journalist!

VAL

(Horribly guilty)

Ah how inconsiderate of me…

SAM

Please don’t worry so much, really.

MAX

Yeah, people are usually way meaner to us.

SAM

Being unaware of our existence is almost a compliment.

MAX

Just how is it like being a celebrity anyway?

VAL

… Stressful.

SAM

Yeah, I guess most jobs are.

VAL

Most things are for me.

MAX

But it’s worth it if you have fame, right?

VAL

Oh no, I don’t really like being famous.

MAX

What? I always thought the main objective was fame! And the ability to be a complete jerk with no consequences!

VAL

Not me, I just really enjoy acting. And making fans happy is nice too… I’m not great at talking with fans but I’m not that good at talking to crowds in general. I’m just glad to inspire people or make them feel emotions with my performance.

SAM

That’s nice, kid.

MAX

If I was famous I would ask my fans to make an altar of me and pray every night to give me enough power to become a god.

VAL

(Concerned)

W… why?

MAX

I need to have something to do after I retire!

SAM

See? It’s a good thing he’s not a celebrity.

VAL

Maybe...

SAM

One last thing, do you have any idea where to get a functional microphone?

VAL

Not really, I’ve mostly looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact, so I haven’t really paid attention to my surroundings.

MAX

Sounds like Sam on his first dates.

VAL

(Awkwardly)

Hahah. Sorry I just assumed that was a joke and I had to laugh.

SAM

You never have to laugh at his jokes.

MAX

Says the guy who I always ‘crack up’.

VAL

(Smiles)

Hahah. That was a sincere laugh.

SAM

‘Sea’ you.

MAX.

(Annoyed)

Awful.

VAL

See you...

Sam and Max walk away to the door they came in.

SAM

I like Val, they seem nice.

MAX

They?

SAM

Geez Max, it’s 2026, don’t you know about this stuff already?

MAX

No, yeah, it’s just not fair that everyone but me gets to have interesting pronouns.

SAM

You know you can choose that, right?

MAX

(Shocked)

… Wait, really?! Just like that?! I have a lot to think about then!

SAM

Glad I could help, little buddy.

INT. MANNY MONEY’S MANSION (MAIN PARTY ROOM ENTRANCE)

Sam and Max go back to talk to the kid, who has a working microphone for his toy car.

SAM

Say kid, your uncle needs a new microphone, and yours could just work

RICH KID

So?

MAX

So, have you learned to share these last 5 minutes?

RICH KID

No!

SAM

I at least had to ask.

MAX

Maybe if we keep asking he’ll change his mind.

SAM

Not a bad idea.

RICH KID

I won’t!

MAX

Can we use your mic? Please please please? Please please please lease please please-

The kid uses the car to hurt Max’s leg again. That makes Max shut up.

RICH KID

You’re even more annoying than all those other kids!

SAM

Other kids?

RICH KID

Yeah, they are all in the kid’s area over there.

The kid points at a door with a big sign that says “Kid’s area”.

MAX

How have we not noticed that earlier?

SAM

Well, this format makes noticing visuals a little difficult.

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