Okay but listen. Listen. Socially anxious giants. Giants with scopophobia. Giants who are terrified of being the centre of attention.
You have all of this power. You could kill whoever you want, wipe out armies with just a few swipes of your arm, crack a mountain in two and level towns with ease. And all that power is useless when it comes to what you're really scared of! In fact, it just makes things worse!
Because you can't blend in, you can't hide unless you leave the area entirely and then you better find a spot far enough that no one will find you. You can never become just one in a hundred because you'll always stand out and the same power that terrifies others terrifies you because wherever you go people will see you. Except they won't even see you they'll see a giant (a god), they'll see you for what you are and who you are becomes irrelevant in comparison to that because all that matters if what you can do to them (or for them).
They'll look up at you and maybe more than just physically. They'll expect things from you and maybe some of those things are good and maybe some of them are terrible but everyone knows you and everyone sees you and no matter where you run you can't escape that. You'll never be normal. You'll never be one of the many.
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So many people who wanna argue with me about King Arthur clearly haven’t read the actual medieval texts. I know this because if they actually read the source material they’d know that when it comes to King Arthur, everything is made up and the points don’t matter.
Try telling that to Chrétien de Troyes. Aka the guy who invented Lancelot.
“Arthurian canon isn’t French”
Clearly you don’t own an air fryer. Also clearly you haven’t read literally anything written after the Norman invasion.
“Arthur needs to be a knight in shining armor”
If he lived at all he lived almost a thousand years before widespread adaption of plate armor.
“He can’t be in plate armor because that’s anachronistic”
Try telling that to Thomas Mallory.
“The fairy stuff is leftover from Celtic myth/Celtic gods)
A lot of that stuff including the lady of the lake wasn’t added until the 12th century actually. Centuries after England was christianized. It was also mostly added by the French poets.
Ok can someone explain the bit about the air fryer to me? Because I own an air fryer but I'm befuddled as to what it might have to do with Arthurian canon being French.
today, on Sensations I Crave As An Indestructible Tiny:
put me in one of those vacuum seal plastic bags and seal me in
that’s it really i kinda just wanna be vacuum sealed between layers of plastic. i think it’d help with my chronic pain and also be relaxing like sensory wise
like look at this shit
somehow i feel like this would do wonders for my spine
I've been playing VRchat almost exclusively as the smallest avatar I have and. IDK why I love it so much
running around underfoot and watching people, then when someone notices they usually go "Oh!! You're so small!" and I nod and giggle
ran into someone on a world with avatar pickups and this girl scooped me up and started showing me off to radndom peopel, or I'd move and she'd go "aieee!!!" and pet my head and then say "I keep forgetting you're a person, sorry" and idk how to tell her that that's great actually, let me just be your adorable pet
I always though I was just into being the giant in the giant/tiny relationship, and sexually that's... mostly the case, but just for fun/platonically, I'm really enjoying running around as a micro and being cooed over and petted
i should do this more often I just feel like I never know where to go in VR chat or what to say but just running around watching people giants like you were describingmight be a good start
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Ik you loved Pepper and Felix, but does it feel good to have freedom again for different projects?
for sure! obviously I love pepper & felix more than anything, and i will NEVER grow tired of writing them, but it definitely is nice to have a little bit more free time. I never felt like I was chained to the story or that I HAD to write it, I really did enjoy it!! but it will absolutely be nice to explore some other characters and universes!!
this takes place after part twenty! thank you for reading!
word count: 1.2k
Owen’s shoulder, as tall as he was, was incredibly spacious.
Pepper had never sat on anyone’s shoulder but Felix’s, so it was a bit daunting— but in the last two months, Owen had proven himself to be more than trustworthy. The darkness of the theater enveloped both Pepper and Basil, and since Owen was seated directly next to the wall, both borrowers felt comfortable being out in the open, even with so many humans around.
“I’m nervous,” Felix’s fluttery voice floated through Pepper’s mind. Pepper’s lips twitched into a smile, and he clasped his hands against his chest.
“Don’t be. You’re gonna do great.”
“Did you get to the theater okay? Can anyone see you?”
“We’re hidden, Felix, I promise. Don’t worry about us.”
“Good— that’s good.” Felix paused. “Thank you for coming.”
Pepper beamed. “Good luck. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Pepper’s hands fell away from his chest, just as Owen’s did as well. Pepper brushed Owen’s neck to get his attention, lifting his voice. “Is Bree nervous?”
“A little,” Owen murmured. He couldn’t turn his head to face the borrowers, but Pepper could sense the smile in his voice. “But she’s gonna do great. Felix and Alice, too.”
“It’s gonna be weird when Felix and Alice kiss,” Basil teased, unhelpfully.
“Shut up.” Pepper snorted, shoving his sister. “They’re just acting.”
“You should— oh, something’s happening.”
Basil fell quiet as music filled the theater, loud but not unpleasant. Owen briefly brought his hand to his shoulder, brushing his thumb over the two borrowers as if to ensure they were still there, and receiving two small pats in response. Pepper beamed up at him, although he knew Owen couldn’t see it. He made a mental note to thank Owen for bringing them. He appreciated it more than Owen knew.
Pepper was entranced as soon as the curtains opened.
Alice looked more like herself than he expected; her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders like a waterfall, while a glimmering green dress concealed her legs, draping over the stage floor.
Ironically, from this distance, Alice looked very small. Pepper lifted his hand, enthralled by how his palm appeared to envelop the human girl.
Indeed, Alice was singing. Her voice shimmered with a liquid which surprised Pepper, so accustomed to her usual sharp, icy tone. He blinked, heart swelling, and leaned forward in intrigue.
It felt as if he were watching a movie, but this performance was real, gorgeous, fascinating. Alice disappeared after the end of her song, and was replaced by a crowd of humans that Pepper didn’t recognize. Their outfits were strange and unusual, but they drew Pepper in.
Pepper and Basil occasionally shared a few comments, but for the most part they were quiet, fascinated. When Felix appeared, Pepper straightened up.
The stage lights illuminated Felix in a very flattering glow, highlighting the sharpness of his bone structure, drawing Pepper’s attention to his face in a way he hadn’t noticed before. The borrower blinked, mesmerized, barely paying attention to what was happening onstage.
“You know what,” Basil mused, “I see it. Felix is hot.”
“Dude, shut up,” Pepper hushed, face warm. Basil snickered.
The story was unusual, but Pepper followed along, mind wandering. He didn’t know much about human myths, but this concept of mermaids and witches and magical sea creatures intrigued him.
Breanna, as kind and gentle and sweet as she was, was surprisingly frightening when she appeared onstage. Both Pepper and Basil stiffened upon seeing her, and for a moment Pepper didn’t recognize her. A dark, twisting, glittering costume swarmed her, sticking out in unusual directions, and her voice carried a villainous amusement that sent a chill down Pepper’s spine.
“It’s like Alice and Bree switched personalities,” Basil giggled. Pepper squinted at her.
“What?”
“Heh, you know— Alice is like Ursula in real life, and Bree is like Ariel. You know, because Alice is evil and Bree’s sweet.”
“Who— what?”
Basil gestured towards the stage, amused. “Dude, pay attention. The characters have names.”
The story surged on, and Pepper enjoyed it immensely. Felix had been so incredibly nervous over the past week, absolutely dreading opening night, convinced that he was going to butcher his songs and ruin the show. Pepper had assured him time and time again that that wouldn’t happen. Pepper had been right.
Felix’s voice didn’t waver in the slightest, flowing over the audience like a river, while he moved gracefully over the stage. Pepper’s heart spun in his chest, swelling with adoration, unable to pull his gaze away.
If Felix was feeling nervous, it wasn’t perceptible to the audience in the slightest. Pepper smiled, entranced.
After a fifteen-minute intermission, in which Owen had to explain several times that no, it didn’t just end there, it’s only halfway done, the story resumed. Pepper actually found himself to be quite disappointed when it ended, but when Felix and Alice took their final bow together, glowing and laughing and beaming, his heart soared.
“I go to all their shows,” Owen remarked, later, once he had found an empty hallway to stand in. Pepper and Basil were seated in his large palms, filled with an excitable energy after the show. “This is the first time they’ve all been leads together. I’m really proud.”
His casual voice brimmed with more emotion than usual. Pepper smiled, heart warm.
“What shows are they doing after this?” After months of talking with Felix, and more recently Alice and Breanna, Pepper was proud to have learned a bit more about theater.
Owen tilted his head, thoughtful. “Hm… our college just released the theater season for next year. Breanna was really excited for the fall one, I think it’s, uh— Chicago? Or Cabaret? One of the two.”
“I don’t know either of those,” Pepper admitted with a laugh.
“Me neither.” Owen smiled, amused. “But I’m already excited to see it.”
“Owen!”
A feminine voice drew all three of their gazes. Pepper sat up straighter as Breanna approached, looking frighteningly witchy in her black dress and glimmering dark makeup, but her beaming smile underneath was comfortingly familiar.
Owen’s hand rocked as Breanna threw her arms around him, and when Pepper and Basil both let out quiet exclamations, Breanna’s gaze landed on them. “Oh! Pepper, Basil!”
She excitedly lifted a hand in greeting, pulling away from her soulmate, and the borrowers grinned.
“You did amazing,” Basil gushed, while Pepper nodded rapidly. “I didn’t know you could sing like that.”
As Owen continued to shower Breanna in compliments, two more humans appeared around the corner, gazes searching— and when Felix and Alice spotted them, they lit up.
Within seconds, Pepper was being scooped up into Felix’s hands, held against his cheek. The borrower laughed when he noticed the beige makeup smudging his clothes, and Felix jumped into breathless apologies, which Pepper disregarded.
“Felix,” Pepper beamed, meeting his soulmate’s gaze. “You were wonderful.”
Somewhere to Pepper’s right, Basil was perched in Alice’s hands, showering her supposed enemy with bright words and enthusiastic compliments. Pepper laughed, heart swelling, and leaned forward to kiss Felix’s cheek.
“Thank you!” Felix’s voice was bright, much more energetic than what Pepper usually heard. “I– I was so nervous, but– it went well!”
Between Felix’s initial audition and now, the human had improved immensely– not necessarily in his singing ability, but in his confidence– and Pepper smiled at the thought. His gray gaze twinkled up at Felix, pride filling his expression.
“You didn’t seem nervous at all,” Pepper promised. “Seriously, I– you’re amazing. And you look… you looked really good.” He raised his eyebrows pointedly before a laugh escaped him at Felix’s flustered, amused expression. “I love you.”
With a laugh, Felix drew him closer to his face again. “I love you, too.”
I've never been so happy and so sad at the same time. Sad because this wonderful story is over, and so, so happy because of how wonderful the ending and this epilogue were. I'm so grateful to you for sharing these wonderful characters with us, they have touched my heart in a way I won't ever forget. Thank you.
being transfem is trying to take younger transfems and drag them kicking and screaming out of the tar pit until they learn to love themselves and stop being bitter over what they dont have
it gets better. it fucking gets better i promise. unfortunately you cant wait until youve gotten every surgery youve ever wanted and been on hrt for 10 years to start loving yourself. you have to do it now. i know you dont feel like you deserve it and youre fucking angry and you want all the pain of existing as you are to just go away. but youve gotta look at yourself every day and say "im beautiful as i am right now". when people give you compliments you say "yea i am cute!" instead of no u or whatever deflection youve hardcoded into your brain. happiness is attainable but you have to grab it and hold on as hard as you can because the world would rather rip you away from it and kill you.
Hey so it's come to my attention that the Creators of Disco Elysium want you to share the game and not give the company who took over and fired them (illegally)?) any profits off of their ideas and work, and I originally joined tumblr 2 weeks ago when that post was going around about the Steam sale and how you should [Skull and Crossbones flag] it instead.
So.
in light of that.
Check the replies/notes of this post :)
I was informed that posts containing links in them aren't findable in the search so i'll just.... drop a link in a seperate reboot :)
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You've shrunk down to borrower size, and you're forced to live as a borrower in a human home.
As long you stay on the ground, your size remains stable, but the higher you get, the smaller you become. (For instance, if you climb something or if a human picks you up, you shrink as you go up.)
Let's say the average ceiling height is eight feet. When you get eight feet off the ground, you'll be the size of an ant. If you're four feet off the ground, you'll be halfway between borrower size and ant size. And when you get back down to floor level, you'll be borrower-sized again.
Do you use this size-changing "ability" to your advantage, or do you stay as low to the ground as possible at all times? How does this affect your life as a borrower? How do you adjust to it?
I may or may not write a scenario similar to this one. I haven't decided…
Nope...you don't get any bigger if you go into the basement! If you're at or below ground level, you're still on the "floor," according to the rules of this spell. The rules are designed to make your borrowing HARDER instead of easier! 😈
oh wait so if I go downstairs to the basement, do I then shrink and I walk back up to the first floor, or do I still only start shrinking once I'm actually above the floor on the first floor?
I don't know what to call it exactly, but there's this attitude in tech-adjacent spaces that's really starting to piss me off.
If you don't already know, Microsoft is ending support for Windows 10 in 2026. In simple terms, that means that if someone figures out how to worm their way into it, every computer still running windows 10 after that cut off is at risk.
However, considering Microsoft promised upon Windows 10's release that it would be the last Windows, and just because it is a genuinely decent OS with very good support for software and games, while still maintaining a level of customization and control that Windows users tend to value, a lot of people are rightfully pissed about Windows 11 being shoved down our throats.
Among many, many things, Windows 11 is packed to the brim with AI slop, genuinely terrifying spyware, and just generally tries to stop users from actually making their PC their own. Hell, just recently, Microsoft began pushing an update that made it so that a new browser can't make itself default with a single button, the user has to jump through hoops to change the setting themselves.
And a sentiment I see repeated a lot as a result of peoples righteous anger is the tried and true "just switch to Linux!"
And I just need ya'll to understand that as good as Linux is, it is not the solution.
Like, I'm sorry, but your average windows user does not know the first thing about Linux. They don't know how to install it, don't even know what distro to use (or even what that means), don't know alternative software for the programs they use, and expecting them to just understand based on a few online guides is ridiculous. Lots of games aren't compatible with it, not to mention lots of popular software. Most PC users buy a PC, follow the setup, and call it a day. Expecting anything more advanced than that is just not fair.
I love Linux, and I can't use it as my daily driver, as much as I'd like to. I simply have too many things that can't run on it or a virtual environment to be able to give up Windows.
So like. idk, man, stop suggesting Linux when you can instead find ways to make Microsoft give their users what they actually need.
oh yeah, I love Linux, and it's what I mostly use, don't think I've logged on to my Windows install on quite a while, but it's not always...easy. I love all the different things I can do to configure it exactly how I want it, but even I sometimes will day about something "why can't this just work automatically?" If *I* say that, and *I* get frustrated, I can't imagine recommending it to anyone who's not a power user. I think sometimes people just can't see that just because something is a great solution for them, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a great solution for someone else.
This is my first work for the G/T Gotcha for Gaza event! I’m so happy to be Participating and I hope the person who requested it likes it! Here is the page if you would still like to donate! @gtgotcha4gaza !!
“I’ve got you.” A G/T M/M Story.
"No way that's how this movie ends! Preston can't you believe this?!" Elias asked his tiny friend, Preston, who was sitting on the nightstand beside his bed. Preston shook his head, to admit, he wasn't really paying that much attention to the movie- since he didn't really understand what was happening in it. But Elias hated it, so he hated it too.
Preston and Elias had been friends for a couple of months now, and both of them usually got along great. Well- when Preston wasn't deathly afraid of Elias that is.
See Preston was a borrower, living in Elias' house for about a year until he got caught by him. He accidentally slipped and fell into one of Elias' bowls and couldn't get himself out. Elias eventually found him, and wanted to make it his duty to become friends with him. But- he found it hard- since Preston wouldn't stop screaming at him.
The day they met, Preston couldn't even look at the larger being, let alone talk to him. He felt enclosed, trapped, controlled, just by being in his presence. But overtime, that got better and better. A couple of months later though, the two have bonded tremendously. Although they still have immense boundaries, Preston is able to look at Elias, say small sentences, and honestly be a friend to him.
Preston wants to do more... be more... but his fear- despite all this time- is still holding him back.
"Ahh what a joke!" Elias said, closing his laptop and trying to erase the memory of the bad movie from his head. "Mmm anyways- it's getting late. I think it's time to hit the hay! What say you my tiny friend?" Elias put his computer over to the side and turned over to Preston, who flinched a little at his movements. Elias hated that Preston was still cautious of him... it made his heart sink every time his little friend was nervous around him.
Elias would give up anything just to hold Preston, to be with him comfortably, to hug and cuddle him. But Elias was slowly accepting that it might never happen- that Preston might be too scared of him no matter what he tries. "Yes. Bed... sounds nice." Preston managed to mumble, darting his eyes away from Elias. Elias gave Preston a warm smile, loving it when he talked to him. Even if it was just a few words.
"Alright well- uh... can I- can I carry you this time? To your hole in the wall?” Elias asked nervously, knowing that the smaller would respond with a no. He had to fry though- even if it meant annoying the smaller- he wanted to be closer to him. No matter what. Preston's breath hitched at the mention of this. It wasn't a shock that Elias was asking, I mean hell he asked him every day- but what was shocking- was the fact that Preston was considering it.
He couldn't believe himself. He started sweating, shaking slightly, and trying to control his breathing. He didn't understand why he was considering letter Elias pick him up- yes he was nice and caring but... he was too big! He could hurt him! But for some reason, part of Preston wanted to ignore the risks. Ignore his fears. Ignore everything just to be held, touched.... Loved.
No. He couldn't. He mustn't. He won't.
Elias could see Preston freaking out- and immediately hated himself for asking so bluntly- already knowing the answer. "Hey man it's ok... forget I asked... you can go back on your own... I won't even follow you." Elias retracted his statement. Slowly shifting his body to back away from the smaller, in a attempt to make him feel less closed in.
Normally- Preston would be running away. He would've grabbed his hook and rope, grappled down, and retired back to his hole in the wall. The hole where he was safe. But not this time. Something inside Preston was preventing his legs from moving. Did he want Elias to hold him? Did he want to... stay with Elias? No. No he couldn't. Right?
"Preston? You okay? You been standing there for a long time and-" Elias started to speak out of caution but then stopped when Preston looked up at him. It was rare for Preston to look Elias in the eye- but he was doing it. Preston could speak though- he couldn't get the thoughts in his head to form into words. He was scared, confused, and everything all in one. He wished he could telepathically communicate with Elias.
But for now- he could only just look at him.
Elias leaned in a little closer, trying to decipher all the emotions on Preston's face. But because he did this, Preston instinctively scooted back out of fear. He also yelped. "Shh- it's okay I'm not going to hurt you... it's okay honey..." Elias spoke in the calmest tone Preston had ever heard. Though fear was still coursing throughout his entire body- he felt some sort of comfort as well...
"What are you thinking about?" Elias pried, trying his best to help with whatever Preston might've needed. He was genuinely confused, but also shocked because this was new behavior for him. Preston looked around room, his eyes and mind searching for something- anything to communicate what he wanted. But he couldn't think of anything.
He had to speak... he had to.
"Stay..." Preston squeaked out, gathering all the might in his body. Elias' eyes grew wide as excitement filled his soul. He couldn't believe that Preston was actually asking to stay! It was like a dream come true for Elias. He had been waiting for this day for a a while- to finally wake up with Preston next to him. Or even... on top of his stomach/chest... If that's what Preston really meant that is. He had to make sure.
"You want to stay... with me? Over night?" Elias asked, tilting his head. Preston nodded his head, immediately wanting to run away after wards. He kept going back and forth in his head with his fearful thoughts and the lovely ones. Elias could barely hold in his happiness when Preston nodded his head- he wanted to scoop Preston up and cuddle him to death. But he couldn't- he was excited but he had to take it slow as to not scare Preston off.
"Ok... ok awesome! Do you want me to make you a little bed? Or did you want to make your own or...." Elias trailed off, waiting for more information from Preston. Elias was praying internally that Preston would open up- that he would be comfortable enough to- well, cuddle with him. He'd always wanted to but never could because Preston was always afraid. But he was hoping today would be different.
Preston knew what his heart wanted- he knew how he wanted to answer Elias' question. "Us... closer..." was all Preston managed to speak before beginning to shake and concentrate on his breathing. The world around him started to go blurry as the objects he stood near seemed to get bigger and bigger. He kept wishing he could retract everything and crawl back into safety- but it was too late. And he knew it.
"Wait... Preston do you want me to... hold you?? Maybe against my stomach or chest?" Elias asked, hoping he wasn't jumping to conclusions too quickly. Preston's heart pounded in his chest, the word "yes" lingering on the tip of his tongue. He nodded slowly, his trembling intensifying as he saw the warmth and excitement light up Elias' eyes.
Elias' smile softened, his movements gentle and measured as he reached out a hand. "Okay, just relax. I promise I'll be careful," he whispered, his voice soothing.
Preston took a deep breath, forcing his feet to move closer to Elias' hand. When he was within reach, Elias carefully cupped his tiny friend in his palm. Preston's entire body was tense, but he resisted the urge to bolt. "It's ok, I've got you. I've always got you." Elias spoke in a soothing tone as he curled his fingers as a protection method.
Elias moved slowly, bringing Preston to his stomach and holding him close. His hand covering the smaller, giving a sense a safety and security. The warmth and steady rhythm of Elias' heartbeat and soft gurgling sounds beneath him was surprisingly calming. Preston's fear began to ebb away, replaced by a sense of security. "How's that?" Elias asked softly, looking down at Preston.
Preston managed a small smile, his fear now a distant memory. "Good... it's good... and soft...." he whispered, allowing himself to relax fully against Elias. He couldn't believe what he was doing- but he knew he was safe. He just felt it inside of him.
Elias beamed, his heart swelling with joy. "I'm glad," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "You can stay here as long as you like. I'll keep you safe." Preston nodded, feeling a wave of contentment wash over him. For the first time since they met, he felt truly at ease in Elias' presence. As he closed his eyes, the steady beat of Elias' heart lulling him to sleep, he knew this was where he belonged.
Elias watched as Preston drifted off, his tiny friend finally finding peace. He held him close, vowing to protect and cherish this bond they had created. "I love you, Preston." Elias spoke softly- thinking that Preston was already fast asleep. But Preston slightly moved and smiled softly- "I love you too." He said, before snoring moments later.
“Sit still,” Pepper murmured, brow furrowed with focus.
On the end table next to Felix’s couch, Pepper sat cross-legged, a miniature paintbrush held in both hands. In front of him, Felix’s long fingers rested, splayed out on the end table, and from the couch Felix rested his chin on the back of his other hand, observing the borrower’s movements.
After dipping his paintbrush into the open bottle of nail polish next to him, Pepper returned to painting Felix’s nail, completely covering it in black polish.
Felix hummed, lifting his head from his hand. “It looks good!” He experimentally moved his fingers, all five nails now jet black and glossy.
Pepper sent him a glance, twisting to search for another paintbrush. An array of art supplies sat next to him, an awkward blend of human-sized and borrower-sized materials. When Pepper finally found a plastic sheet of tiny silver gems, he announced, “I’m not done yet.”
“I figured.” The human let out a laugh and rested his cheek on his other hand, draped over the arm of the couch. The nails there were already finished, painted black and decorated in silver gems.
Felix, originally, had been a little apprehensive when Pepper had asked to paint his nails. He had worried that Pepper would grow bored or exhausted with the task, but the borrower insisted, treating Felix’s nails like any one of his other art projects.
The human didn’t paint his nails that often, but when he did, he gravitated towards his usual simple, soft colors— gray, pale blue, or white. Pepper had taken the liberty to find the black nail polish that Felix had bought but never touched, tucked away in a cabinet underneath Felix’s bathroom sink, and Felix couldn’t find it within his heart to refuse.
Pepper’s excitement had actually been adorable. Felix was aware that Pepper enjoyed being artistic, but the human didn’t get to see that side of him often, as most of Pepper’s art projects were constructed in the privacy of his little home. Besides, the microscopic size of his journals meant that Felix wouldn’t be able to see the details, anyways, which inwardly disappointed the human. He wished that he could support Pepper’s artistic endeavors the same way that Pepper regularly supported Felix’s passion for music.
Serving as a blank canvas felt like a fair compromise. Felix leaned into his sleeve, heart fluttering, watching as Pepper carefully pressed a silver gem into the center of his ring finger’s nail. The borrower’s gaze was intense and focused, as if this was the most important thing he had ever done. Felix did his best to keep his hand still.
Pepper worked diligently, tiny hands dancing delicately over Felix’s fingertips. As he decorated the rest of Felix’s fingers with silver, the borrower’s satisfaction visibly grew, until he finally finished with the last gem on Felix’s thumb.
Felix blinked curiously as the borrower pushed himself to his feet, proudly gesturing to the fingers below him. “Now we’re done!”
Mindful not to bump into Pepper, Felix held both hands above the end table, eyebrows high as he examined his nails. Silver gems glimmered up at him, more symmetrical than he would have been able to achieve on his own. The black nail polish underneath was bold, and definitely not a color he was used to wearing, but it was growing on him.
It was hard to dislike anything that clearly brought Pepper so much joy. The borrower was trying to play it cool, crossing his arms, but the excited rocking of his heels was anything but subtle. “What do you think?”
Felix wiggled his fingers. “They look amazing,” he breathed, pulling his gaze away from the detailed designs to admire his soulmate. “Thank you! I— this is incredible!”
Pepper fought a grin, ducking his head. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Seriously, I love it,” Felix pressed, beaming. “I wish I could do your nails.”
Pepper snorted at the absurdity. He held his hands out in a similar fashion to Felix, splaying his hands in front of his face. Felix couldn’t even see his nails, let alone try and paint them. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
Felix laughed lightly as Pepper began to organize his things, dropping his gray gaze to the pile of art supplies. After a moment of silence Felix spoke up, observing the delicate movements of Pepper’s hands.
“I, um…” A nervous feeling danced around Felix’s throat, restricting his words. Pepper peered up at him, expression nonchalant, closing the bottle of nail polish. The glass bottle reached his shoulder.
Felix exhaled, glancing down at his freshly painted nails. “I was wondering if, uh— if you’d want to go out on a date. Like, a real date.”
His hesitant words made Pepper freeze, tiny hands jerking away from the bottle. Felix felt a pink tinge creeping into his face, and he cleared his throat, rushing to explain. “Only if you want to. We don’t have to go out in public, or anything. It’s up to you.”
Silence stretched for a second too long, as Pepper stared up at him, gray eyes enormous. Felix was just about to haphazardly change the subject when Pepper finally responded, voice breathy. “Yeah. I want to.”
Felix blinked in response, heart jumping. He had been terrified that Pepper would refuse, offended at the idea that there might be something even slightly romantic between them— but clearly they were on the same page. It brought a warm feeling of relief into Felix’s chest.
The human ducked his head, suddenly embarrassed to face the borrower. “Oh! Okay, ah— good! Would tomorrow night be okay with you?”
Felix tried to keep his face light and casual, not wanting to reveal that he had already checked tomorrow’s weather repeatedly and had been purposely keeping his Thursday night open for several days now. To his relief, Pepper nodded vigorously, tiny hands fumbling.
“Yes. That sounds perfect.”
—
Pepper had never been on a date in his life, let only on a date with a human.
Four days ago, Pepper had given Felix a kiss on the nose. He had been emboldened by a surge of confidence, but his confidence had dissipated rapidly over the next few days. Neither of them mentioned that kiss— much like how they hadn’t mentioned Felix’s drunk kiss. Felix, honestly, didn’t seem to be treating Pepper any differently, and Pepper had started to wonder if maybe he had taken things too far too quickly.
But Felix had asked him out a date.
Pepper’s heart raced. He exhaled, dragging his hands down his face. On the floor of his room, his clothes were strewn around him in haphazard piles.
“I’ve literally kissed him,” Pepper mumbled to himself, digging through a pile of shirts. “He’s kissed me. This isn’t a big deal.”
Still, the fear of the unknown was difficult to combat. Pepper didn’t even know where they were going yet.
After struggling for twenty minutes, Pepper finally settled on a plain black crewneck and baggy blue pants, not unlike the cargo pants that Basil usually wore. He didn’t have a lot of nice clothes, but he figured this was good enough.
Right on cue, Felix’s voice filtered into his mind. “Hey, I just got home from rehearsal. Do you want to meet in the kitchen in… maybe half an hour?”
“Sure,” Pepper responded, trying to sound nonchalant despite the racing of his heart. “See you then.”
Pepper suddenly wished he had a phone, so that he could call Basil at her place in the lounge and tell her what was going on. He didn’t know much about how phones worked, but it would be nice to have one right now.
He spent the next fifteen minutes pacing around his room, smoothing his clothes, double-checking his bag, before finally deciding that he should make his way to the kitchen. He sent a quick telepathic message to Felix that he was on his way before he slipped into the long passageways of the walls.
When Pepper emerged from behind the toaster, Felix wasn’t there yet. Being alone in the kitchen somehow comforted Pepper and worsened his fears at the same time.
It wasn’t exactly a secret that he and Felix were advancing onto romantic territory, and had been for a couple weeks, but it still left Pepper feeling dizzy. He had absolutely no experience with romance at all, and his little knowledge of how soulmates worked didn’t help the situation.
Basil had talked with him about it, explaining that some people ignored their soulmates altogether, while others found their platonic best friend in their soulmate and searched for romance elsewhere. That only confirmed Pepper’s fear that Felix would never choose to be with a borrower if he didn’t have to.
But, no— Felix had asked him out on a date.
The exhilarating feeling returned, leaving Pepper rocking on his toes, heart racing. He pulled at the threads of his crewneck, which were a bit loose, considering that he had merely thrown this sewing project together a few weeks ago.
At the sound of Felix’s footsteps approaching, Pepper straightened up, listening intently. His gray eyes were wide and curious as Felix finally stepped into the room, his towering height sending a fluttery feeling down the borrower’s spine.
Over a white button-up, Felix wore a black sweater vest. In addition to his black dress pants, the human was wearing a much darker palette than usual, which surprised Pepper somewhat, and the borrower could only wonder if he had intentionally chosen these black clothes in order to match his dark nails. Pepper’s first thought was that it was an incredibly sweet gesture.
His second thought was that black was a very flattering color on Felix.
The stark contrast between the darkness of his clothes and his light skin and features left Pepper feeling dizzy, oddly enough. Fighting the heat growing in his face, the borrower nodded politely, crossing his arms. “You look nice.”
A breathy laugh escaped Felix, moving closer. “Thanks. You too.”
Pepper didn’t hesitate to step onto Felix’s hand when he offered it. Throwing his hands out to balance, he peeked up at Felix. “Where are we going, by the way?”
Felix flushed, glancing away as he brought Pepper up to his left shoulder. The borrower watched him quizzically as he scrambled up onto the knitted material of Felix’s vest. “I actually want to keep it a surprise, if that’s okay.”
Pepper raised his eyebrows, suddenly anxious— but Felix knew better than anyone not to put Pepper in danger. “Oh!” He kept his voice playful. “You won’t even tell me a little bit?”
Felix shrugged, jostling the borrower momentarily. After offering a quick apology for the movement he responded, “Well— we’ll have to drive there. Is that okay?”
Pepper had already accepted that a car ride would be very likely. He nodded. “Yeah, no worries.”
In the next few minutes, as they made their way through the apartment building, Pepper could only wonder where they could possibly be going. The only time he had left the apartment recently (willingly) had been to accompany Felix to his audition.
Honestly, Pepper wasn’t really even sure what humans did with their time. Felix didn’t seem to be as crafty as Pepper, which made sense, considering the vast difference in what the two of them needed to do to survive. Pepper enjoyed sewing as a hobby, but at its core, it was a survival tactic for him.
Felix’s hobbies revolved around music, which made Pepper wonder if they were possibly going to some sort of music performance. He had enough common sense to understand that humans played music for each other, much like how Felix sang onstage. Curious, and a little baffled, Pepper sank closer to Felix’s neck.
The sun beamed down on the two of them as they stepped outside into the parking lot. Self-conscious, Pepper clung to Felix’s silver hoop earring, gaze dancing. There were no other humans around, but he still felt overwhelmed in such an open space.
“How is Basil doing?” Felix asked as they approached his car. Pepper had only been inside it once, when Felix had rescued him and Basil from their kidnapping. “Settling in okay?”
The polite question helped to ease the tension between them. Pepper nodded, subconsciously tightening his grip on Felix’s earring as the human opened the car door with an unfathomable amount of casual strength. “Yeah, she’s doing really good, actually. Her room in the lounge is really coming together.”
The borrower smiled, recalling how he had spent the entirety of his Monday helping Basil to organize her new space. He knew from experience that the first few weeks of moving somewhere new could be emotionally draining, so he had been happy to help. “Her room finally looks like a home now, you know? It started off as this dark, dusty, empty space, but now it’s super cozy. She even took an old scarf from the lost and found and made some tapestries out of it to put around her room.”
“Aw, good! I’m glad things are going well for her.” Felix expressed his approval as he slid into the driver’s seat, careful not to jostle Pepper. His blue eyes were kind as they settled on Pepper’s reflection in the side mirror. “How often do borrowers move? It can’t be easy, right?”
Pepper hummed curiously, settling into the crook of Felix’s neck. Felix hadn’t made any indication to move Pepper down to the passenger seat, so the borrower got comfortable where he was. He paused to let the initial roar of the engine die down before he responded, gazing out into the parking lot as the car rolled into movement. “We don’t move around a lot, usually, but it depends.”
After a beat, Felix asked, “Where did you live before?”
“Your apartment is my third home,” Pepper explained, entranced by the movement outside. “I grew up in a bakery. It was this little place on a street corner, with all these cute green and pink decorations. It was nice, but it’s kind of a tradition for borrowers to move out of their childhood home once they’re an adult, so when I was nineteen, I moved into a new house— but the couple that lived there started setting out mouse traps, so I left. I moved into your apartment a little over a year ago, when I turned twenty-one.”
Felix’s eyebrows were high. He briefly pulled his gaze from the road to observe Pepper in the mirror. “You’ve lived in my apartment for a year?”
Pepper blinked. He supposed he hadn’t revealed the exact timeline before. “I guess I have.”
“Huh… I can’t believe I never noticed you.”
Pepper almost snickered. “Not being noticed is kind of the whole borrower thing, man.”
Felix released a sheepish laugh at that. “Right. Of course.” After a moment he added, “I’m glad I met you, though. Even if I wasn’t supposed to.”
Pepper smiled, absentmindedly threading his fingers into Felix’s vest. “Yeah. Me too.” He decided not to make a snarky comment about the unfavorable circumstances in which they met, basking instead in their shared warm moment.
“You’ve mentioned the bakery before,” Felix added after a quiet minute of driving. “You grew up there with Basil, right?”
“Yep.” Pepper admired the buildings whizzing past them, bright and enormous. “She’s six years older than me, so she kind of took care of me.”
Felix’s brow furrowed out that. He looked as if he wanted to ask more, but changed his mind, nodding in response. Pepper blinked.
He had never really brought up his family to Felix— not only because it had never come up, but because he didn’t have much to say. His father had died shortly after Pepper was born, so he didn’t remember much about him aside from the brief feeling of comforting hands on his shoulders and warm, brown eyes.
His mother, on the other hand, had left unexpectedly in the midst of Pepper's childhood. The rest of Pepper’s teenage years had been spent with Basil— then by himself, once Basil had inevitably moved out.
“You have a sister, too, right?” Pepper finally asked, changing the subject. “What’s she like?”
Felix smiled. “Her name’s Kelsey. She’s really funny, and she’s so sweet. I think you’d really like her.”
Pepper blinked at that. It hadn’t really occurred to him until now that he might have to meet Felix’s family at some point, as absurd as it sounded.
He vaguely remembered seeing Kelsey once or twice, when she had visited Felix’s apartment over the past year. She looked a lot like her brother, lanky and blonde, aside from the bright streaks of pink in her hair. Of course, back then, Pepper had never stuck around either of the humans long enough to get a read on their personalities.
“Does she do theater too?”
“Yeah, actually. For her it’s more of a hobby— she’s gonna go to college for economics— but theater definitely runs in the family.” Felix smiled. “She’s auditioning for Legally Blonde soon.”
“That’s a kind of musical?”
“Oh— yeah. It’s a really good one.”
Pepper beamed, oddly proud that he had made the connection. It was nice to finally have a grasp on how human theater worked. “Well, wish her luck for me.”
Until Felix’s car pulled into the largest parking lot Pepper had ever seen, the borrower hadn’t realized how much time had passed. Suddenly remembering that they were on a date, Pepper straightened up, curious.
He examined the enormous gray building in front of them, brow furrowed. With a distinct lack of windows, the building was comparable to a cement brick. “Where are we?”
Felix parked the car. His black nails danced over the steering wheel, hesitant. “An art museum.”
Curiosity flickered in Pepper’s chest, and he leaned forward, searching the bland gray building. “Oh! It’s got a bunch of human art in it, right? Like, paintings, and stuff?”
Felix relaxed microscopically at Pepper’s positive response. “Yeah. I just figured you might be interested in this, because you’re so artsy, and stuff— is this okay? Do you want to go?”
“Yeah!” Pepper’s heart positively melted at the considerate gesture from Felix. “Yes, absolutely! Except— are there a lot of humans in there, usually?”
Felix shook his head, smiling. “It won’t be crowded, and if we do see people, we can avoid them. I checked online and they’re usually not busy on Thursday nights.” He hesitated briefly as he shut the car off. “Although, when we first go in, you might have to hide hide. Just for a few minutes.”
“That’s okay.” Pepper’s gaze danced down, searching for Felix’s messenger bag, but it wasn’t in the car. “Oh.”
Felix seemed to be hit with the same realization. The human pursed his lips, subconsciously patting himself down. “Oh,” he echoed.
Peering down the towering length of Felix’s torso, Pepper registered that he didn’t have any pockets on him, either. The borrower tilted his head, running his hand over the color of Felix’s white button-up.
When he had accompanied Felix to his audition, he had wedged himself between the folds of the fabric on Felix’s shoulder in order to remain hidden. However, if Felix needed to talk directly to another human in order to get into the museum, a simple fabric fold wouldn’t be enough to hide Pepper.
With a strike of inspiration, Pepper straightened up. “It’s okay— I can just…”
He faltered, self-conscious about what he was about to suggest. Meeker than before, continued, “I can just hide in your sleeve— you know, in your hand?”
He had been ready to announce the idea before he had even considered being scared. Hiding, trapped in Felix’s hand, with no knowledge of what was going on outside— it was a terrifying situation to put himself in, but he had a strange feeling in his chest that insisted it would be okay.
Only if Felix agreed to it, of course.
Felix’s blue eyes flickered, surprised, peering down at his hand. His thumb played with the sleeve of his white button-up. “That would be okay with you?”
Pepper shrugged, trying to play off his sudden wariness. “Yeah, it’s fine. Only for a few minutes, right?”
“Yeah,” Felix agreed, although he seemed to feel just as nervous.
It wasn’t a situation that either of them were used to. Felix had held Pepper before, obviously, but he always refrained from closing Pepper into a fist. It would be uncomfortable for both of them, especially considering that they could be surrounded by other humans. Pepper was willing to make it work, however, if it meant he could explore the art museum with Felix.
He didn’t know everything about human society, but he was smart enough to understand what a museum basically was. The idea enthralled him.
Once Felix was standing outside the car, ensuring that nobody was around, he lifted his hand to his shoulder. Pepper’s gaze dragged down from the enormous gray building— the museum, in fact, was the largest building he had seen in his life— to peer down at Felix’s palm.
It amazed him how quickly Felix’s hand had changed from a thing of terror to a comfort. Fingers as tall as he was curled inward, once threatening— but as Pepper stepped delicately onto the hand, he felt oddly protected by them. Something emotional shifted in his chest.
Felix moved his hand in front of himself, allowing the borrower to adjust before gently moving him to his non-dominant hand. Pepper immediately felt secured by the fingers curled around him, and he clung to Felix’s thumb and forefinger, acutely aware of how much power rested in his soulmate’s hands. His heart thudded on instinct, struggling to meet Felix’s gaze.
“Just a few minutes, I promise,” Felix said softly, and Pepper relaxed, nodding. He sent a lighthearted salute up, earning a breathy laugh. Moments later, Pepper was completely concealed from sight, as Felix tugged his sleeve over his hand.
Pepper exhaled as Felix began walking, gaze dancing around the confined space. He wasn’t in complete darkness as his imagination had suggested he might; the sunlight filtered through the white fabric of Felix’s sleeve, providing the borrower with enough visibility not to go into a panic.
The fingers around him were loose and accommodating, barely a fist at all. Pepper shifted into a more comfortable position, sinking into the warmth around him. He wondered if Felix could feel his heartbeat, with how his large finger was resting against his back.
His instincts murmured at him every time Felix’s fingers shifted around him, fleeting thoughts of being squeezed or dropped entering his mind. To be held like this was to completely surrender himself and trust Felix. He had no knowledge of what was going on outside— he just knew that Felix was with him, completely surrounding him with his presence. The thought left Pepper feeling somewhat dazed.
Pepper closed his eyes, resting his head back. He could hear Felix speaking to someone, and felt the shifting of gravity as Felix moved his hand, but he willfully ignored all of the noise in favor of peace of mind.
Felix was correct; it only took a few minutes for the sleeve to be tugged away. Pepper straightened up within Felix’s palm, squinting at the sudden onslaught of light, feeling like a frazzled baby bird.
Felix seemed to feel the same way. He hid a teasing smile, blue gaze dancing away respectfully as Pepper attempted to flatten his shaggy hair. “Sorry. Should’ve given you a warning.”
“It’s fine. As long as there’s no one around…”
Pepper trailed off. He had glanced around in search of other humans— but the room they were in was empty. Dark walls stretched around them, the floor expansive, and for a moment Pepper was reminded of being inside of the walls, with its enormous passageways and empty space.
Several gold-framed paintings adorned the walls, each one lit dramatically. Pepper’s breath left his body, and he immediately leaned towards the painting closest to them, attempting to see the little details. “Holy shit. Is this real?”
Felix seemed a little surprised by his reaction, but he approached the painting nonetheless, lifting his hand higher so Pepper could see.
The painting beamed down at Pepper, an abstract rendition of two young girls playing on a swing set. Pepper wasn’t unfamiliar with fancy artwork, but this was the first time he had seen a painting with such detail or color. His gaze danced to the label below it.
“This is from 1986? These paintings are old!”
“You have no idea,” Felix teased, bringing his hand to his shoulder. Pepper quickly got the idea, scrambling up onto the dark sweater vest, double checking to make sure no other humans were in the room. “There’s artwork here that’s hundreds of years old.”
Pepper’s mind was racing. He had sewn clothes and drawn doodles in his journals for years, but most of his artwork tended to fall apart over time. It just seemed to be natural for paint to smudge and threads to wear down. He couldn’t imagine preserving something for hundreds of years.
As they examined the paintings surrounding them, Pepper rattled off questions, thrilled. A lot of things Felix couldn’t answer, because he wasn’t exactly a trained painter— but he was happy to see Pepper so excited.
Just as they reached the last painting, a young couple entered the room. Felix fell quiet at their presence, and after Pepper ducked against Felix’s neck in surprise, he took it as his cue to leave.
The panic in Pepper died down almost instantly as Felix moved to another section, filled with more paintings of wildly different styles. Pepper, recalling just how large the building had appeared from the outside, beamed with the realization of how much artwork there must be to explore.
The minutes flew by as they moved from painting to painting, speaking softly. Pepper remained enraptured the entire time.
“That one looks like you,” Pepper commented as they observed a painting of a tall, ghostly man. Felix snorted.
“Right. And you’re the bird.”
A tiny bird rested in the ghostly man’s hand, barely a stroke of paint. Cupped in the thin, pale fingers, the bird was barely noticeable.
Pepper blinked, then punched Felix’s neck. “Shut up.”
The borrower was incredibly grateful for how quiet the museum was, something he hadn’t expected it to be. The borrower usually pictured every human structure to be filled with movement and noise— but the silence of the museum was a pleasant surprise.
Pepper’s gaze drifted towards Felix, examining the length of his jawline and the smoothness of his cheek. The human was speaking quietly, discussing the origins of the painting in front of them, but Pepper was more focused on the movement of Felix’s jaw and fighting the sudden dizzying urge to reach out and touch it.
Flushing, he turned back towards the painting, gently grasping Felix’s hoop earring for stability.
Only when they entered a room filled with towering human statues did Pepper remember exactly what he was— a borrower, currently on a date with a human.
A fluttery feeling filled Pepper’s chest, and he subconsciously straightened up, sending Felix a glance. He suddenly wondered if Felix had been on dates before.
The human had never mentioned any past romantic experiences, and the thought made Pepper feel a little uncomfortable. Was Felix comparing this date to any previous dates? Surely dating a borrower was significantly worse than dating another human, right?
“You okay?”
Pepper blinked, realizing he had fallen silent. His gaze turned towards a marble statue, towering over him, the details incredibly intricate. “Yeah, I… yeah. Sorry, just lost in thought.”
Felix’s voice was gentle, polite. Pepper momentarily hated him and his never-ending patience. “What were you thinking about?”
Pepper hesitated, drumming his fingers over his knees. For a moment, he thought about sharing all of these negative thoughts with Felix— but what would be the point? Felix had asked him out on a date, as soulmates. It didn’t matter what might have happened in the past.
Exhaling, Pepper dropped his shoulders, lifting his gaze to the next shoulder. A warm feeling in his chest, he inched closer to Felix, placing a small, steady hand on the human’s neck. He could feel the heartbeat underneath, quickening.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” Pepper murmured, heart fluttering.
Felix’s shoulder shifted underneath him, surprised, before the human spoke again. His voice was as gentle as ever. “Of course.”
-----
they can have one nice chapter where nothing bad happens. as a treat
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thinking of a young adult, freshly moved into his first home, which happens to have an elderly borrower couple living in the walls. the elderly couple is a little noisy and long lost all subtly when borrowing, so the guy discovers them quickly, but doesn’t let them know he’s aware of them. he lets them borrow in peace, and thinks they’re utterly adorable.
until he suddenly has to make sure no spoiled food is in range because they will steal and eat ANYTHING, no matter the expiration date. he has to put railings on the counter because they’re a little unsteady and his heart drops every time one almost has a fall. he has to act oblivious when he hears them bickering at a huge volume because they don’t realize how loud they are. he’s sneakily stealing their old worn supplies like rope or bags and replacing them with new ones that won’t break or hurt them.
and when the tinies do find out he knows about them? oh, little Grandma and Grandpa TAKE ADVANTAGE. they now have a strong young man who will go to the grocery store and get them applesauce whenever they ask. Grandpa is having the guy do heavy lifting and construction work for them. Grandma is sitting on his shoulder and fussing at him for slicing veggies wrong. they nag him to take them to visit their grandkids, they tell him to cut his hair and get a better job, they sneak little trinkets into his hand and run off before he can politely decline.
and he utterly loves it. he loves his tiny grandparents